The Goddess and the Ogre

The Goddess and the Ogre, a Cambodian legend

Once upon a time in the land of Cambodia, there lived a hermit. People rarely saw him, for he lived in solitude at the top of a mountain. Still, people always talk, and so word spread that the hermit possessed magical powers.

Many wanted to learn the hermit's secrets, and among those longing to learn was the lovely goddess of water, Moni Mekhala. Nimble and brave, she could swim through water and air, but she wished to know still more. And so she swam through the air to the hermit's home and asked him to be her teacher.The hermit agreed.

Soon the ogre known as Ream Eyso, a terrible giant who frightened all who saw him, decided that he, too, wished to possess magical powers. And so Ream Eyso climbed the mountain and knocked on the hermit's door with his enormous clawlike hands. When the hermit answered, he asked to become a student. The hermit agreed.

The hermit did not care if one was a goddess and another was an ogre. He wanted to spread knowledge to all who wanted to learn.

The lessons began. Ream Eyso and Moni Mekhala were attentive students. As time passed, they learned a great deal of magic from their teacher. As their lessons came to an end, the hermit decided he would offer his students a test.

He called them to his side and offered each an empty glass. "Take this glass," he said, "and return to me tomorrow. Your glass must be filled to the very top with dew. The first who returns with a full glass will win a prize."

So Moni Mekhala and Ream Eyso departed, glasses in hand. When the ogre arrived home, he got into bed and smiled to himself. He would wake before the world stirred, and in this way, he was certain, he would be the first to collect a glass full of dew. He fell asleep filled with confidence.

The goddess had a different idea. When she had reached the bottom of the mountain, she laid a large cloth upon the meadow. Then she lay down beside the cloth to sleep.

The next day, before sunrise, Ream Eyso made his way into a grove of trees, and there he began to pluck leaves. These he pinched and squeezed, watching as the dew collected in his empty glass, drip by drip.

When Moni Mekhala awoke, she reached for the cloth beside her. It was soaked with morning dew. She rolled it into a ball and squeezed it over the glass. In a matter of moments, her glass was full.

She hurried to the hermit's hut, taking care not to spill the dew. "You have won," the hermit told her as he took the glass from her. Then he handed her the prize he had promised. It was a beautiful glass ball, studded with jewels. "Guard this wisely," the hermit said, "for it is a powerful tool."

Overjoyed, she thanked the hermit for all he had taught her, and then she departed, her precious gift in hand.

Soon afterward the ogre arrived at the hermit's hut and happily handed over his glass. "I have won!" he cried.

But the hermit shook his head. "The goddess was here before you. Ream Eyso was furious. "I must win a prize!" he roared."

So you shall," said the hermit, and he handed Ream Eyso a gleaming axe made of solid gold. But when Ream Eyso learned of the magical ball, he stormed out of the hermit's hut without a word of gratitude. Determined to have that magical ball, he immediately set off for the heavens, where he knew he would find Moni Mekhala.

When he saw her among the other gods, he smiled tenderly. "Ah," he said, softening his usually harsh and raspy voice, "it is the beautiful and talented goddess. I wanted to congratulate you, so I have come to do just that. May I see your prize?"

But Moni Mekhala did not trust the ogre. He had never before been charming. Keeping her distance, she lifted the ball above her head. "This is my prize," she said.

"Goddess," he teased, "you have not the skill to use such a gift."

The goddess laughed. "You squeeze dew from leaves, and you question my skill?"

Infuriated with her taunting, the ogre rushed toward her. "Give me that ball." He raised his axe above his head. "Give it to me or I will destroy you."

Moni Mekhala rushed away, but the ogre chased after her. As he ran, he flung taunts, threats and curses at her -- and then he threw his axe with all his strength.

It whirled across the empty air. The goddess picked up speed, and so the axe narrowly missed her. When it landed, the heavens shook with the thundering sound.

Moni Mekhala angrily tossed her ball above her head. When she did, it radiated a streak so bright, it blinded the ogre, and Moni Mekhala flew into the clouds.

Ream Eyso howled and rubbed his eyes, but by the time he could see again, Moni Mekhala was far away, lost in the clouds. "I will find you," he cried. "I will chase you forever and ever," and with that he too raced into the clouds.

Rain began to fall. This, the people of Cambodia say, was the origin of thunder and lightning.

Every year, as the people pray for the rains to return to nurture their land after the dry season, they listen for the thunder of Ream Eyso's axe and look for the radiance of Moni Mekhala's magical ball, and they tell again the story of the never-ending chase in the sky.

My hero of the week: that young Khmer lad on the Chaly.

My hero of the week: that young Khmer lad on the Chaly.

Over the last few months I have been watching an increasing amount of Khmer television. Among all of the dodgy soap operas and the suspect Chinese action movies you get an interesting selection of advertisements. Often for slightly perplexing products.

However, among the usual offerings of whiting creams and green tea, someone on TV3 has been running a series of road safety ads, driving sensibly and all that.

My favourite of these ads show some camcorder footage of two teenage Khmer lads pulling a wheelie on a Honda Chaly (25cc) for the whole length of the road outside the Royal Palace, as well as having some excellent reaction shots of passers-by watching them.

The voiceover translates [roughly] from the Khmer as ‘’do not drive like a playboy, it is disrespectful, does your mother cry?’’

So, once and for all I would like refute any claims that I have ever been on a Honda Chaly pulled a wheelie along Sothearos Boulevard. I will leave that to my hero of the week.

Cambodia: Getting away with murder

Cambodia: Getting away with murder

There are two court cases that epitomise the grievous state of the Cambodian judiciary; riddled with flaws, political interference and corruption.

In one, the Prime Minister's nephew, Nim Sophea, walked free after two secret trials, amidst numerous allegations of bias on the part of the prosecution and the judge. He was cleared of shooting dead at least two people and injuring others in an attack of road rage on a Phnom Penh street.

In the second case, two men suspected of assassinating a trade union leader had their "confessions" beaten out of them following a shoddy police investigation into the death. The two suspects, Born Samnang and Sok Sam Oeun, were arrested for the murder of Chea Vichea at a Phnom Penh newspaper stand in January 2004.

Just weeks before the courts cleared Nim Sophea, Cambodia’s donors met for the first time since 2002 to decide on the international aid budget to the country. Part of this funding was for the judicial sector. The Cambodian authorities had not been able to meet even one of the benchmarks set by donors in 2002 to encourage improvements in this sector. The Cambodian judiciary remains weak, corrupt and susceptible to political interference.

Nevertheless, donors agreed to give Cambodia US$504 million over and above the US$500 million requested by Phnom Penh. The international community did use the opportunity to castigate Cambodia for its failure to meet its own reform agenda, in particular the growing problem of corruption and the weaknesses in the judicial system. Sadly, as the Nim Sophea case shows, their reprimands appear to have fallen on deaf ears. Another testing point for the judiciary came in early in the New Year.

On the 4th of January, a few days short of the first anniversary of their arrest, the two suspects in the murder of trade union leader Chea Vichea will appear at the appeal court pleading for bail prior to their trial. Both Born Samnang and Sok Sam Oeun publicly proclaimed their innocence in this high profile case during a televised public press conference given on the 29th of January.

They complained of the police brutality used to force them to confess to the crime, but Born Samnang retracted his claim of innocence and confessed again the following day.

A police sketch of the alleged killers, bearing a striking resemblance to the suspects, was released before any of the known eyewitnesses to the shooting were interviewed. Born Samnang had an alibi, supported by numerous witnesses, who, in turn, complained of police threats against them.

In March 2004, the first investigating judge, Heng Thirith, from the Phnom Penh Municipal Court, ordered that the case be dismissed due to lack of evidence. The judge was summarily transferred from his position and publicly claimed that he had come under pressure from a senior government official to bring the case to trial. The conduct of the case has come under intense criticism both within Cambodia and from the international community.

The second case involves a markedly happier ending for the defendant. Nhim Sophea, a nephew of the Prime Minister, was identified by witnesses as the person who opened fire on a crowd at a traffic accident in October 2003, killing two people and wounding four. He was charged with voluntary manslaughter.

Nhim Sophea’s trial was heard in March 2004 effectively in secret, as the court neglected to provide notice that the case was to be heard. Relatives of the victims were paid sums in the order of US$8,000 and did not testify before the court. There were numerous allegations of bias on the part of the prosecution and the judge in favour of the accused.

Another person (who has never been apprehended by the police) was held responsible for the murder in absentia and sentenced. Nhim Sophea was sentenced to 18 months in prison after charges against him were reduced to involuntary manslaughter. In August 2004, a further secret hearing took place at the Court of Appeal and all charges against Nhim Sophea were dismissed. The Prosecutor did not appeal the case.

Both secret hearings were highly unusual and in breach of both Cambodia’s domestic law and its international obligations. An open hearing is an indispensable and fundamental right of the general public in a democratic society -- with very few and clearly defined exceptions -- to ensure that justice is done and seen to be done. It is essential in ensuring that impunity is not afforded to those who abuse human rights.

In a chilling reminder of the inequalities in the justice system, the case following that of Nhim Sophea in the Phnom Penh Court on the 11th of March was the trial of a man who had stolen 2,700 riel (approximately US$0.65). He was sentenced to four years in prison after his mother was unable to pay the US $1,000 required for his release.

The International community has provided comprehensive recommendations for improvements to Cambodia’s judicial system in numerous reports over the years; unfortunately there has been little progress. As we have seen, the government seems similarly unswayed by the words of international donors. The Cambodian people understandably have little faith in their justice system.

Recent reports indicate that Nhim Sophea has left Cambodia and is living with his mother, Hun Sen’s sister, in China. Born Samnang and Sok Sam Oeun, on the other hand, look set for a long wait before they receive a fair trial.

When international donors met the Cambodian government at the beginning of December, they agreed on new benchmarks for improvement. The government must adhere to these benchmarks, and donor nations must link them to any future funding. Only then will the Cambodian people have a chance to build trust in their justice system.

Oh crap, an eel ?!?

Oh crap, an eel ?!?

The plumber and I stood looking at the blocked toilet. It was a weekend, which is typical. "It’s bad, all right. Looks like a two or three eel job," he said, shaking his head. This is all well and good, but in the world of Cambodian plumbing, the great thing about conventional plungers is, one plunger is the same as another and you can buy them late into the afternoon.

Eels, a traditional Cambodian method of dealing with blocked toilets without dealing with them directly, are a problematic, idiosyncratic breed which are at their best at ungodly hours of the morning when they have first hit the market, before they have been prodded, poked, sent wriggling across floors and been whacked across the head with the blunt end of an axe a few times. Thankfully, I was already aware of what the plumber meant by an "eel job" due to a strange experience an acquaintance running a guesthouse had reported last year.

A guest had wandered into the toilet without fear or trepidation after a few drinks one day. It was a very clean toilet [well, clean by Asian toilet standards] and did not require the cautious approach of many lakeside toilets in Phnom Penh. It was only when the guest heard splashing where splashing should not be that they looked into the bowl—just in time to come face to face with two beady black eyes peering from a serpentine head scowling through the hapless visitor’s legs. It was then that the screams began.

The owners rushed to the aid of the guest, but communications being what they are in a Khmer guesthouse, they only recalled asking for someone to unblock a slow toilet, and had left it at that.

They, too, were therefore unaware of the traditional method used by the staff, who had mistakenly assumed that they would be prepared for this scenario. However, they were not, and were caught off-guard at the sight of a muddled but active eel circling angrily around its unusual bowl and total confusion reportedly ensued.

It was only later that the staff explained that the eel's extraordinary stomach, combined with its natural instinct to disappear from view into dark areas made it a perfect budget plumbing tool for people who were neither in a hurry to go, nor in a hurry to sully their own hands.
And so we eyed this particular toilet on a sunny Saturday afternoon, years later, and decided on its eel-ability.

While we debated, a second opinion arrived, as often happens with plumbers the world over. He advocated a more modern approach—a plunger followed by eels. "The problem with eels is, sister, that they die," he said. "And a dead eel is as big a problem as your initial problem—maybe even worse. What you need, I reckon, is a plunger to start the job, and when you have gotten as far as you can with that, then you get your eels onto it."

For your average eel just won't do, apparently. Nope. Choosing an eel for plumbing purposes is as skillful a task as choosing a thoroughbred to win a Derby. A plumber’s eel must be strong, active, focused, and above all, willing.

"So we start with a plunger, and at five or six tomorrow morning, I will go to the market and handpick our eels," Plumber 2 announced. By this stage, Plumber 1, beaten by someone who was obviously a superior judge of eel flesh, had retreated to enjoy his days off in peace.

"You don't want an eel what is just going to sit there and die," he reiterated. "Or worse still, one who gets the job half done, and then dies. That ain't nothing but an even bigger headache and you end up needing more eels or a plumber with tools to fix that." A plumber with tools? If there was such a thing in this country, it was a rare breed indeed. This last sentence was meant to strike fear into doubting hearts, and it worked on me.

"If three go in, why don't the live ones eat the one or two who don't make it?" I asked. Stony silence. I had obviously said something too idiotic to deserve a reply.

"Well, could we send in a catfish instead?" I continued, racking my brains to think of a hardier creature that might like drains and would feast happily on detritus.

The plumber's answering look was withering. Obviously, I was a new kid on the block, in water out of my depth, an ignorant babe in the woods when it came to drains and the delicate science of unblocking them. "Catfish? Don't be so bloody stupid," he muttered, and stalked off to purchase Plan A, the $1.25 plunger which would clear the way for the three, 50 cent eels. Or 75 cent eels, if I wanted the job done right. It was, I was reminded tersely, no time to be cutting corners.

This had already been a typically strange month, and I am by now used to total strangers wandering through my home and offering odd solutions to problems — even problems I didn't know I had — such as the inconvenient lack of holes in my walls and fly screens that the man without tools from the telephone company had pointed out to me, or my profligate tendency to leave my fridge switched on all night, pointed out by the guy who delivers water. Or the obvious shortage of staff the office has, since it didn't yet employ him, pointed out by some guy we all thought someone else had made an appointment with for an interview, but as it turned out, discovered none of us knew after he left.

As I had heard good reports from others about the work of eels, and as I had no desire to go fishing around in the drains myself, I was happy to give them a try. This month was one spent largely writing about other people's strange choices and decisions. My decision to listen to plumbers advocating eels was perhaps a subconscious urge to do something a little unconventional myself, but something that nonetheless actually had a point and half a chance of working.

The eels arrived in due course just as dawn broke; sterling specimens of animals which appeared as eager as the plumber to begin work, squirming athletically inside their clear plastic bag.

They were bright eyed, firm bodied, toothy individuals who looked unlikely to die before they managed to break from the barrier, so to speak, and well suited to a torrid trip into the Cambodian sewer system. The perfect, eco-friendly weapon.

And so they were released, with no undue ceremony, to embark on their mission. A trio of slimy allies, vicious, keen, with teeth as sharp as razors and bellies empty, ready to do battle for their new masters and in doing so win their freedom. To hear the plumber sing their praises (for these were by no means the first specimens he had seen and examined for the task in a hard morning inspecting potential bloodstock at the market) these creatures were the aquatic versions of greyhounds.

"The plunger probably helped a lot," the plumber said. "But we won't know if the eels succeeded or died trying until there is another problem. Remember, don't let anyone flush—this could take a while."

So we locked the door and left them to their work. There was proper fishing to be done and catfish to be caught at a little place the plumber said he knew just outside of Phnom Penh, and it seemed like a good time to be somewhere else for a while.

And anyway, I hadn't quite given up on the idea of sending a catfish in after the eels, in the unlikely event they did fail. It somehow didn't seem like such a silly idea after all; at least to me.

But what would I know?

Restaurant Reviews: Shiva Shakti

Restaurant Reviews: Shiva Shakti
70 Sihanouk Boulevard, Phnom Penh, Cambodia (855) 12 813 817

The lamb in the Rogan Josh was in large, very tender, pieces, the flavours had permeated all the way through to the centre of the chunks, denoting a good marinating process, rather than a fry, sauce, serve methodology. Just the right amount of spices and heat for a Rogan Josh, it was by far the best Indian curry that I have had in Cambodia.

The naan was okay, but was not up to the high quality of the rest of the food, a personal dislike of mine is when the naan is served sliced already, like it is a pizza or something, damn it, you need to get your hands in there and tear it up manually for that real curry experience.

Yes, it was pricy by Cambodian standards ($40 for the 3 of us with only 1 jug of beer!) but as they say; if you have to ask the price, you can not afford it. Plus I managed to push the bill up somewhat by ordering one of the more expensive dishes - why is lamb so damn dear here ?

A little more staff training would not go amiss, but as we were in no particular hurry it was not that big a thing; plus they would be the ones sweeping up the cigarette ash off the floor not us.

All in all an 8 out of 10 and I will be going back there next weekend for sure

Phnom Penh’s burning, Phnom Penh’s burning…

Monday the 7th
Phnom Penh’s burning, Phnom Penh’s burning…

As the rainy season has been over for a while, the Khmer equivalent of autumn is setting in, leaves are falling from the trees.

This gives a lot of bored Khmer males an excellent excuse to start bonfires in the middle of roads and pavements. Huge piles are sweep, or raked, up petrol is liberally sprinkled over them and a match is then tossed at the pile.

Of course, the fact that Cambodia is somewhat lacking in road sweepers means that along with the leaves you also get; plastic bags, polystyrene containers, coke cans and the odd dead rat being swept up and burnt as well.

Ah, the exotic aromas of South East Asia…

Prince to wed Red Rum's mother

So Prince Charles is climbing back into the saddle.
I guess that it is only appropriate then that he is marrying somebody who looks like a horse.

The coverage in Cambodia from BBC world – relayed live from BBC1 was about as sketchy and amateurish as I have ever seen. Although part of this was due to a slightly disorganised palace dribbling the information out.

All the fuss and fervour over ‘what titles’ Camilla will be using. It seems that ‘out of sympathy to public opinion’ the mare-faced old axe will not be given the title HRH the Princess of Wales when she marries the Prince of Wales, instead she will be taking Charles second title and she will be known as HRH Duchess of Cornwall Furthermore, upon Charles ascending to the throne, she will not be queen Camilla, but will be known as The Princess Consort - echoes of Prince Albert there…

And this is all before we get to all the nonsense about a civil service, followed by a church blessing from the dear old arch bish’ Now I do not know Camilla personally, but I get the impression that she is a batty old sack. However She is going to be married to the Prince of Wales and she will be the Wife of the King in due course.
All this obsequious, bowing and kowtowing to the court of public opinion is annoying enough when it is coming out of 10 Downing Street, or the Houses’ but to now have the Royal Family playing the PR game so blatantly it just makes me want to give it all up and burn my English passport.

Would not have happened with the Tudors. A swift ‘Off with his head’ followed by some burnings and destruction - ah, the price of progress.

It just goes to prove in my mind [yet again] that the Country is in fact being run by a bunch of people more concerned with how their new hairdos look than anything else.

At least that snotty little runt Earl Spencer has had the good sense to make a ‘No comment, and I will not be commenting’ comment ?!?!

Still, I give it only a couple of days before that conspiracy nutter Mohamed Al Fayed kicks off about something.

Chinese New Years Day

Wednesday the 9th
Chinese New Years Day

Had a bit of a lazy start to the day, well, it is a holiday here. Just before lunchtime I realised that I had very little food in the house so I headed over to P’sar Orussy to pick up a few basics.
I was somewhat surprised when I got there to find it closed up; surely all 200 odd stall owners could not be Chinese ?

So swinging back round to Monivong Boulevard I head north to P’sar Thmey, to see if the 200 odd stall owners there have suddenly discovered long lost Chinese relatives.

Unfortunately, it took a little longer than usual to get there; as I crossed onto the Boulevard my progression was slowed by the massive procession of Chinese dragons, dancing and general merrymaking of a hundred Chinese~Khmers. Doubling the size of the throng were the numbers of tourists and backpackers following them up the road with cameras a-clicking and camcorders a-camming ?!?!?

When I finally find a few market stalls open, they are all trying to charge twice normal amount just because they are the only ones open and it is Chinese New Year.
Having had enough of that I manage to purchase a loaf of bread and some noodles – panic buying… best see if I can find an open restaurant to eat at.

In the evening I meet up with a couple of friends of mine - Peter and Chris - for a couple of drinks at the Peace café, after a drink there we are informed that the Chef has not turned up so there is no food - hang on, the chef is defiantly not Chinese, he is Khmer, he is Dave’s brother-in-law, he is from Prey Veng province next to Vietnam, not even remotely Chinese?!?

In the absence of any other restaurants being open we go to Shiva Shakti; the most highly priced and exclusive curry house in Cambodia – honest! - Classic Indian Moghul cuisine, Tandoori specialities and Cuban cigars.

The Lamb Rogan Josh was fantastic, the best I have had in a year… Three main courses, 2 portions of rice and 4 nann breads and a jug of Tiger beer; a bargain at US$40 - of course, normally in a Khmer restaurant you usually only pay one or two dollars for a main course, but there we go…

After which, it was all back to the Peace Café - a dollar a beer, rather than three.

The start of Chinese New Year – NYE

Tuesday the 8th
The start of Chinese New Year – NYE

Even though the Khmer New Year is later on – April I believe – and despite the fact that we have already celebrated and had a bank holiday for ‘International’ New Year (1st of Jan) we have three days of work this week for Chinese New Year – Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

Sitting in the office at 07:00 this morning there were only half a dozen of us in [out of 45] it seems that most members of staff seem to have found some obscure family member with a vague Chinese connection and are thus claiming the whole week off of work. Strolling down to our usual breakfast restaurant we were disappointed [?] to find it closed, so dining at the restaurant next door to it we were surprised that it was almost deserted.

Sauntering back to the office I set about my assorted tasks for the day.

Around 11 o’clock I get a phone call from my landlord, Lee, who wants to know where I am.

Odd? It is midmorning, where else would I be but in the office?

Well, he is Chinese and in celebration of the Chinese New Year he is currently loitering on my balcony bearing food for me.

So heading home I am presented with:

o Beef broth with; bits of bone, jellied beef fat the odd gristly bit of beef and black mushrooms - the mushrooms were nice…
o Fried egg noodles with morning glory, shrimps, octopus and beef intestines
o Moon pie - a stodgy fruit and sponge pastry that has to be one of the densest foods known to man; one inch thick and four inches in diameter it requires 4 grown men to lift it and a stomach made out of concrete to consume it

mmm ???

Transport in Cambodia – specifically Phnom Penh

Transport in Cambodia – specifically Phnom Penh

A few people have suggested that I cover transport here in slightly more detail, ever happy to please my gentle readers here is a summery of the various means of getting around Phnom Penh and off out to the outlaying towns.

Rules of the Road
There are none. He whom is biggest wins. It is fast, dangerous, wild, unpredictable, potentially life threatening but great fun – get used to it!

There are a few general principles that should be remembered when driving here, they may help, they may not, things like:

• If you are a Johnny-Foreigner and you have an accident, you are in the wrong, regardless. You will have to compensate whoever else was involved. If the police turn up, you will have to compensate them as well...
• Work on the principle; that you do not have the right of way
• Assume that everyone else on the road is a homicidal maniac with a death wish and that you are their target
• Assume that the idiot that has just cut you up is an off duty police officer/military police and that he is armed
• Do not make any sudden move!
• Avoid making eye contact with other drivers, they will assume that you are staring at them


The Various Modes of Transport

Walking
Yeah, right, good luck.
The temperature here ranges between 29C and 44C with the humidity level in the rainy season hitting a high of about 90%
Flash flooding in the rainy season can deliver a foot of water in 20 minutes.
Most pavements are either; nonexistent, broken, have open sewers, are covered in rubbish, converted to street stalls/barbers/roadside garages/bedrooms/toilets/et cetera.
Every 10 seconds a moto-dope driver will pull up alongside you saying ‘moto, moto, moto……’

Walking anywhere in this city is both a physical and mental test of endurance. The one exception to this is a stroll along the river, about 7 or 8 blocks worth of peaceful stroll – with the exception of the moto-dopes…

Motorbike Taxi (Moto-Dope)
Literally thousands of these roam the streets of Phnom Penh touting for business. They vary from fairly new bikes and drivers that speak English, to those bikes held together with string and blessings to Buddha. Regardless of where in that spectrum your ride falls, the driver will tell you he knows where your destination is and how to get there. There are four important things to remember when he says that.

He will be lying He will be lying He will be lying He will be lying

Your average moto driver does not know his way from one side of the street to the other, the majority of them are from the provinces, they come into town for a month or so at a time to earn some money and then head back out to the provinces until the cash runs out. They will have no idea where anything is. If you show them a map of the city, they will stare at it with great interest – but only because it seems to be important to you, their potential fare. To them it is just a pretty piece of paper with colours on it. The only sure fire way of getting to where you want to go is to read the map yourself, then as the driver is hurtling down the wrong side of the road, lighting a cigarette and answering his mobile phone all at the same time, just keep pointing left or right at every junction until you get to where you want to go. Having said all that, a trip from one side of city to the other will only cost you 2000 riel - US $0.50 - and it will be the quickest way to there.

Taxi
There are a few cars around PP that act as taxis. These can usually be found hanging around outside the larger hotels or outside the airport. Comparatively speaking, they are expensive. A minimum of US$5 for a journey, US$7 to or from the airport. They can be unreliable, and not turn up on time – or at all. If you find a good one, get his phone number!

Shared Taxi
Leaving from the various markets (P’sars) around Phnom Penh they just cruise around until they have a car full. That is to say, until they have the Khmer equivalent of a car full; four passengers in the back, two on the front passenger seat and one between the driver and his door. Us foreigners (Barang) often opt for paying for the entire front seat to ourselves – believe me, it is worth it! Once the car is [Khmer] full, it will then head off to whatever provincial town is the destination. It will head off at breakneck speed, dodging other traffic, children on bicycles, water buffalo, stray dogs, chickens, people, whatever. The driver will be desperate to get you all to your destination as quickly as possible so that he can get another run, or two, in that day. The best tactic to cope with this style of driving is to have 4 or 5 beers and a valium before you get in the car and then keep your eyes shut for as much of the journey as possible. Offer prayers to whomever your personal deity is and try to relax :-)

Cyclo
Imagine a large bicycle [almost penny-farthing style] with one wheel at the back and two at the front. In between the 2 front wheels is a large wicker basket/seat in which you sit. High above and behind you is a skinny, 6 stone, very fit, but sweaty, Khmer guy peddling like mad to get you to your destination. It is usually a much more sedate method of travel around the city – if you can shake off the neo-colonial feel of the journey. However, cyclo-drivers obey the same rules of the road as everyone else, they will turn into the oncoming stream of traffic, weave in and out of the on coming cars and slowly drift over to the right side of the road. All of which can be slightly disturbing for you sat right at the front, head on to the traffic…

Tuk-Tuk
The tuk-tuk is starting to make an appearance now in Cambodia – though only it seems in Phnom Penh and Siem Reap. Two and four seater versions are around, but they tend to be a lot dearer than the 10,000 moto-dopes that operate in this city, so it will be a while before they become as popular here as they are in Thailand. I find them to be handy for meeting people at the airport when they have luggage, you can not many suitcases on a moto and a car is expensive. The tuk-tuk does fill that nice middle ground.

Bus / Coach
Local bus services do not exist. Large air-conditioned buses are available however for long distance travel. The bus from Phnom Penh to Kompong Som (The beach) takes about 4 hours, and is an almost pleasant way to travel across country. Although the air-conditioning may or may not be on/working/set very low, plus they will probably be playing Khmer karaoke on the TV at full volume…

Your own motorbike
If you are an experienced biker, fool-hardy, have suicidal tendencies, or any combination thereof, you may take the option of buying your own transportation.

As I am going to be here for 26 months, I decided that this was the best option for me. Having looked around at the second-hand bike market for a month or so I came across, what I thought, was a bargain. I bought a Honda KL400cc for US$450. The 250cc trails bikes that seem to be the requisite ride for westerners out here starts at about US$ 1,200!

It is old, and a little rough around the edges, but the roads and traffic in this city [Country] are physically tough on bikes, not to mention cars, so the fact it was not pristine does not matter.

It is a big, heavy, ugly bike, which in this country means that it is unlikely to be targeted by the many many bike thief’s that live and work here!

I love it. The sense of freedom that you gain by having your own transport in a city that does not walk and has no bus service is well worth the cost.

Ahh, addiction, thy name is Walls

Saturday the 5th
Ahh, addiction, thy name is Walls

The evil, satanic, devious and avaricious owners of the luxury western supermarket - “Lucky Market” have hit upon a fiendishly brilliant plan to part me with yet another 10% of my salary every month.

As many of you may know, I do not cope with hot weather all that well, which makes me living in Cambodia somewhat of a challenge, especially as we are now heading towards the hottest part of the year - March, April and May – when the temperatures can hit 44C on a bad day in the city.

So as we race towards to part of the year where your underwear is in danger of melting and fusing at a bimolecular level with your bum, these immoral store owners have chosen to start importing en mass a whole range of Walls luxury ice creams; banoffe cream, black forest , strawberrys and cream, double chocolate chip, et cetera

Aggggghhhhhhhh

CAMBODIA: Sounds Good, I want to go, give me the skinny: Part IV

CAMBODIA: Sounds Good, I want to go, give me the skinny

Part Four: What to see

Phnom Penh

Royal Palace – and Silver Pagoda
US$3 admission - $2 surcharge for cameras
Chan Chaya Pavilion; The Throne Hall, The Silver Pagoda, the Royal Treasury, . As well as some monstrous grey steel building donated by Napoleon III
The Silver Pagoda, with its floor made out of silver, is a must see – 5,000 tiles of silver each weighing 1Kg, of course, most of them have been covered over, but a section between the entrance and exit is exposed for viewing.


National Museum
US$2 admission
North of the Royal Palace by a block, this serenely designed terracotta building houses a somewhat small collection of national treasures and artefacts; but well worth a gentle morning stroll around, especially with an English speaking guide
Some of the pre-Angkorian exhibits are particularly interesting, dating back to a time when the national religion was Brahmanism and not Buddhism


S21 and the Killing Fields
S21, as was, is now the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum. Originally a school building until the KR turned it into a detention and torture centre, a holding area for processing before people were taken to the Killing Fields at Choeung Ek. The KR kept records and photographs of the 17, 000 people that passed through the camp between 1975 and 1979.
There is a wealth of documentation and literature available on the Khmer Rouge and Pol Pot, I do not intend to go into that here.


The Russian Market – P’sar Toul Tom Poung
South of Mao Tse Toung Boulevard; corner of Streets 440 and 163
Everything that a visiting tourist needs; wooden Buddha’s, silver jewellery, Gap polo shirts, pirate DVD’s and CD’s - actually, most things us ex-pats need as well. My personal favourite, I usually visit it at least once a week and pick up a couple of new DVD’s - US$3 each for the latest releases…


Take a stroll along the river
Phnom Penh is built upon the confluence of the Tonle Mekong, the Tonle Bassac and the Tonle Sap - Tonle is Khmer for river.

Along the west bank of the Tonle Sap is the riverfront section of Phnom Penh, where the road is lined with restaurants, bars and gift shops. Some good, some adequate, some okay-ish in a pinch. But it is a pleasant stroll on a Sunday, or any early evening just prior to sunset.

Post sunset, you have a selection of bars for a cocktail [or two] as well as any number of restaurants from an assortment of nationalities.


Further information

http://www.tourismcambodia.com/.

The Cambodian Ministry of Tourism , http://www.mot.gov.kh/.

http://www.khmer440.com/

and

http://darrenconquest.blogspot.com/

of course !!!