Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Field Trip to Kandal

Monday, 24 May 2004

So last week I spent a few days out on a field trip to a fishing village in Kandal province.

Arriving back in PP late Thursday evening, I reflected on the difference between my nice 2 bedroom apartment within the ‘nice ex-pat’ area of Phnom Penh and the wood/bamboo house I had been living in at the side of Boeung Chunlen lake and fish reservoir.

My hosts while I was staying in Boeung Chunlen were farmers and fishermen. They ran a small shop from the small room underneath their stilted house, selling odds and sods that are needed in the village – petrol, cigarettes, oil, rope, bread, et cetera.

While there we ate rice and fish 3 times a day – somewhat monotonous but fresh and tasty.
Back to Phnom Penh I have a very wide choice of foods – Khmer, Chinese, Indian, Italian, Mexican. I can get a double bacon cheese burger or a full fried English breakfast for $3 US.

While I struggle very hard each month to keep within my VSO allowance of US$380 your average Khmer struggles to feed his family for $20 US a month.

Yes, you read that correctly. Government employees, Teachers, Policemen, receive a salary of 20 US dollars a month. This is why so many of them have second jobs, or in the case of the police, ‘spot-fine’ us Westerners for the most bizarre things – it cost me $2 a few weeks ago for the crime of riding my bike during the day with my headlights still on………..

Strangely enough it is not against the law for a Khmer to drive his car at night without headlights ?!?

D

Friday, May 21, 2004

Language, Misunderstandings and Khmer Humour.

Language, Misunderstandings and Khmer Humour.


Of course, being in a far flung Country that one has never been to before does present a few challenges. Not just the professional ones associated with any new job, but personal and social ones as well.

One of the more obvious problems is the language. Upon arriving here in Phnom Penh, VSO had set up an in-country training program for myself and my fellow ‘volunteer-professionals’ - as we are being called this week…

A big part of that training was language lessons. Four hours a day for about four weeks. Or in my case, enough to completely demoralise me about learning the language !

I mean, I can manage; ‘hello’ ‘goodbye’ ‘two beers please’ and ‘can I have the bill’ fluently enough, but following a 4 hour meeting held in K’mai with Khmer nationals is way beyond my current abilities.

This is where I found myself this morning. During a break in this torturous meeting I was chatting to a few or the guys outside over a coffee and they were asking how much of the meeting I was following.

‘Virtually nothing at all’ was my honest reply – their English skills are excellent.

‘You need dictionary’ was their advice.

‘I have one,’ I say pulling my VSO issued ‘Tuttle’s English to Khmer Phrasebook’ out of my briefcase.

‘No, no.’ they say, ‘you need Longhair Dictionary’

‘Oh, I have the Tuttle one,’ I reply ‘is this not any good?’

- cue much laughter from the Khmers

‘Longhair Dictionary much better, you learn fast, fast’

- giggling now starts to reach epic proportions, one of the guys is having trouble breathing

‘So where can I get ….’ I start to ask when all of a sudden the penny drops – a Long Hair Dictionary. As in, a walking, talking, dictionary with long hair….

My limited K’mai now picking out a phase I have often heard used in the office - ‘’s’trey sa’aat’’ - I say in a conspiratorial tone, with a wink and a nod - or in English ‘a beautiful woman’ for those of you not as fluent in K’mai as myself…

I join in with the laughter, after all, this is all jolly boys’ together kind of stuff. Would be rude not to get into the cultural flow and exchange of ideas and concepts….

‘We get you one, we get you one’ the Khmer manage to splutter out between their painful laughs and gasps of breath.
Eventually they just lose the power of speech in any language.

To them, this is as funny as funny can be. It contains everything that they love to joke about; women, foreigners, women and all with a hint of innuendo.


This incident reminds me of a story my Khmer boss told me last week.

Last year he was hosting a meeting with a group of Western ‘experts’ about something or another. Along with about half a dozen members of his staff that were to be there as well. Because the Khmers were trying to get a loan out of whatever NGO the Westerners represented, my boss decreed that the meeting was to be held in English and not Khmer.

One of the girls that works in the office looked terrified at this.
It turned out that she had lied on her application and did not speak a word of English at all.
However, not being one to worry unduly, or hold a grudge, my boss tells her that she has 2 days before the meeting so she should just learn a couple of sentences parrot-fashion that she can use in the first 5 minutes of the meeting when everyone is introducing themselves

- Hello, my name is, I work for, etc etc.


One of the other staff members (a guy) says he will help her, so all is well.

So, come the morning of the meeting everyone gathers in the main meeting room, slowly the group works around doing the hellos, introductions, etc when it eventually gets around to our girl.

Very confidently she stands up, bows to the group and says in a fairly good impression of English

‘Hello, my name is Anakia, I am single, very available and free this evening for fun’

Of course the English speaking Khmer fell out of their chairs unable to contain the great mirth that this had given them, they were literally rolling in the aisles.

The Brits just sat there, puzzled, open mouthed and looking at each other.

And of course the poor girl just stood there wondering what the hell was going on, slowly getting more and more worried!



So, even if they are speaking English - or if by some miracle my K’mai progresses beyond numbers, colours and types of fruit - one can still run into these little events and social interactions that make working overseas both frustrating and rewarding at the same time. Not too mention occasionally entertaining.

Of course you also have to understand that male Khmer humour seems to be based entirely upon that of Beavis and Butthead.

More tales of adventure, excitement and do-daring from South East Asia coming soon to an Email near you.

D