Thursday the 7th
Terror Attacks London
I had a lunch meeting today with some colleagues from VSO, it was also the chance to meet the new IT Specialist volunteer that is going to be joining us here at the Ministry of Fish. Returning to the office after the lunch I take our new IT Girl with me to introduce her to everyone - well, everyone that was here...
After the meet ‘n’ greet I run her back home and I decide that I will finish off working at home for the rest of the day, peace and quiet for a dull report.
Working on a super dull report on 'fish exports to Thailand' I put the TV on in the background, just for some noise and the odd distraction.
The scenes of London on the screen, and the news coming in about the bombings kept me from even starting my report. Familiar places and sights, familiar feelings – I was in London for several other terrorist acts.
I text and check in with several friends in London, just to make sure that everyone is okay. By 8 O’clock the news is repeating itself (badly) and I have heard from everyone in London. I decide to head out for a bit, to see some fellow Brits and to talk to them about it all.
An hour later I am sat in the middle of a screaming argument between Peter and David about politics, religion, terror, et cetera. Pete had spent the afternoon worrying and trying to get hold of all his family and his friends in London, and still had not heard from some of them that worked in areas where the bombs had gone off, he was upset and looking to lash out in anger and frustration – “Slit all their fucking Muslim throats!” he vents.
Dave, whose family was originally from Northern Ireland, remembers the IRA Birmingham bombings and remembers that his grandfather, an old factory worker of no strong political beliefs, being beaten up by a mob of idiots for the crime of ‘having an Irish accent’
Between these two views / comments, several beers, misplaced bile, frustration, worry and anger these two friends of mine had a spectacular argument and falling out; cries of ‘racist’ ‘shut up’ ‘get out of my bar’ et cetera filled the air.
I can not help but think that this is precisely the sort of thing that helps and strengthens these acts of terror.
When we are divided amongst ourselves, when we question our own thoughts and friends and actions, when we start fighting amongst ourselves, surely that is when they have won.
We really do not want these people to win, do we.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Wednesday the 6th Evening
Out with the boys(?!?)
My good friend Peter has accepted a new job up in Battambang (6 hours NW of PP) for the next 6 to 12 months. He is leaving very early on Saturday morning so a few of us decided to meet up last night for a drink, or three, and to start saying goodbye. A couple of hours into it Lee – a mutual friend of ours – had to leave as he was feeling somewhat tired and had an early start in the morning. So off he went and we all carried on – dining on Jamaician style spicy beef patties with a minty yoghurt dip and supping on the beer of Lao.
A couple of hours later Lee burst back into the Peace Café all a fluster and very agitated.
“two fucking lady-boys just tried to mug me” he cried across the bar.
“gin, give me gin now!”
“two fucking lady-boys just tried to mug me” he reiterated at the same volume.
Well, after several gins and Lee catching his breath the story unfolded.
Having left the Peace café he decided to stop on the way home to pick up a pizza; while doing so another friend of ours phoned him to say that he had just arried in Phnom Penh (He works in the provinces normally) and was in the Shanghai Bar.
So Lee popped into the Shanghai for a quick one, explained that he was on his way home and started strolling down St. 172 towards St. 63 where he thought he could catch a moto home.
Halfway down that street, a motodop pulled up along side him with two women on the back, the driver starts saying ‘Mister, Mister, you want lady? You want lady? Two Lady 5 dollar!’
Lee says no and just carries on walking, not really looking at them. When one of the ‘women’ hops off the bike and grabs his arm “Oy” comes the deep bass voice of the ‘woman’
Lee half turns and tries to pull his arm free, as he does so he sees the square chin, the 5O’Clock shadow and the burly forearms that are holding him.
He gets as far as saying “What the f….” when this hairy-backed Mary slaps him across his face.
Reeling from the blow, Lee feels the other gender-bender rummaging for his wallet (he hopes) in his jeans pocket. Gathering some presence of mind Lee manages to slap the pocket fiddler across the face and break free.
Rushing for St. 63 he sees another moto-driver sat on the corner watching this with bemusement and wonder – I guess from a distance it would have looked like two women attacked him and he ran off !
Jumping on the back of this moto Lee screams for him to just drive, drive, drive.
After clearing the scene, Lee decides that he is in need of a drink, and so, heads back down to the Peace Café to join us, again.
It is a strange world out here.
My good friend Peter has accepted a new job up in Battambang (6 hours NW of PP) for the next 6 to 12 months. He is leaving very early on Saturday morning so a few of us decided to meet up last night for a drink, or three, and to start saying goodbye. A couple of hours into it Lee – a mutual friend of ours – had to leave as he was feeling somewhat tired and had an early start in the morning. So off he went and we all carried on – dining on Jamaician style spicy beef patties with a minty yoghurt dip and supping on the beer of Lao.
A couple of hours later Lee burst back into the Peace Café all a fluster and very agitated.
“two fucking lady-boys just tried to mug me” he cried across the bar.
“gin, give me gin now!”
“two fucking lady-boys just tried to mug me” he reiterated at the same volume.
Well, after several gins and Lee catching his breath the story unfolded.
Having left the Peace café he decided to stop on the way home to pick up a pizza; while doing so another friend of ours phoned him to say that he had just arried in Phnom Penh (He works in the provinces normally) and was in the Shanghai Bar.
So Lee popped into the Shanghai for a quick one, explained that he was on his way home and started strolling down St. 172 towards St. 63 where he thought he could catch a moto home.
Halfway down that street, a motodop pulled up along side him with two women on the back, the driver starts saying ‘Mister, Mister, you want lady? You want lady? Two Lady 5 dollar!’
Lee says no and just carries on walking, not really looking at them. When one of the ‘women’ hops off the bike and grabs his arm “Oy” comes the deep bass voice of the ‘woman’
Lee half turns and tries to pull his arm free, as he does so he sees the square chin, the 5O’Clock shadow and the burly forearms that are holding him.
He gets as far as saying “What the f….” when this hairy-backed Mary slaps him across his face.
Reeling from the blow, Lee feels the other gender-bender rummaging for his wallet (he hopes) in his jeans pocket. Gathering some presence of mind Lee manages to slap the pocket fiddler across the face and break free.
Rushing for St. 63 he sees another moto-driver sat on the corner watching this with bemusement and wonder – I guess from a distance it would have looked like two women attacked him and he ran off !
Jumping on the back of this moto Lee screams for him to just drive, drive, drive.
After clearing the scene, Lee decides that he is in need of a drink, and so, heads back down to the Peace Café to join us, again.
It is a strange world out here.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Transport Hunting
Saturday the 19th
Transport Hunting
Having a small budget for a replacement motorbike, thanks to my wonderful parents, I spend the morning travelling around the Khmer orientated bike shops, figuring that they would have lower prices than the ones that cater to expatriates. This put all of my language skills to the test, but numbers are the one area of this language that I can actually manage fairly well. Just in case though, I took Heng with me for back up, support, extra translation and haggling services.
The strange thing about motorbikes in Cambodia is that the vast majority of expatriates ride 250cc dirt bikes; which might have been necessary 5 years ago when their were no tarmac roads, or maybe necessary now if you spend all of your time out the furthest, most remote provinces, but 90% of the roads that I drive on, even when I am out of Phnom Penh, are okay. So for this strange reason the 250cc dirt bikes are all a lot more expensive than larger road bikes. A decent 250cc dirt bike costs between US$1,500 and US$3,500. my old bike (prior to it being stolen, spit, spit, spit) was a Honda KL400cc custom, which I bought at the rock bottom price of US$450, the guy selling it was originally asking for US$750, but I was negotiating with him 2 days before he left the country for good, and nobody else had been to see it, which gave me something of an advantage!
So visiting 5 or 6 bike shops around town this morning I discovered that the 250’s were all still really expensive and that the bigger bikes [400cc, to 750cc] were much better value. All except the one that I saw that I really, really, liked, it was fresh off the boat from Japan, the only one in the country, a Suzuki Slingshot 400cc 16valve in a metallic yellow and black finish. 0 to 60mph in 4 seconds! Unfortunately it was priced at US$2,000, much, much, more than I could stretch to on a volunteer allowance, even with help from mum and dad !
So half a dozen bike shops, much haggling and negotiating, not too mention much sweating in the 40C+ heat, I finally settle on my new bike. A Honda VF750 Custom Classic; it took me nearly an hour of haggling, discussing, drinking coffee, test driving and threatening to leave and go to another shop, but I managed to get him down from US$900 to US$750, which would leave me just enough left in the budget to pay the official registration fee, buy the licence plates from the police (just do not ask…) and to buy 5 metres of heavy duty chain and a large padlock!
Also as part of the deal I got him to agree to do a few more things to the bike before I pay for it – new tyres, new plugs, oil change, replace a broken clutch lever – which means that I have to wait until Monday before I can pick it up.
Think I might take the afternoon off work on Monday, just so that I can cruise around town and play on my new bike – err, oops, sorry, I mean, road test my new bike to get used to it !
Transport Hunting
Having a small budget for a replacement motorbike, thanks to my wonderful parents, I spend the morning travelling around the Khmer orientated bike shops, figuring that they would have lower prices than the ones that cater to expatriates. This put all of my language skills to the test, but numbers are the one area of this language that I can actually manage fairly well. Just in case though, I took Heng with me for back up, support, extra translation and haggling services.
The strange thing about motorbikes in Cambodia is that the vast majority of expatriates ride 250cc dirt bikes; which might have been necessary 5 years ago when their were no tarmac roads, or maybe necessary now if you spend all of your time out the furthest, most remote provinces, but 90% of the roads that I drive on, even when I am out of Phnom Penh, are okay. So for this strange reason the 250cc dirt bikes are all a lot more expensive than larger road bikes. A decent 250cc dirt bike costs between US$1,500 and US$3,500. my old bike (prior to it being stolen, spit, spit, spit) was a Honda KL400cc custom, which I bought at the rock bottom price of US$450, the guy selling it was originally asking for US$750, but I was negotiating with him 2 days before he left the country for good, and nobody else had been to see it, which gave me something of an advantage!
So visiting 5 or 6 bike shops around town this morning I discovered that the 250’s were all still really expensive and that the bigger bikes [400cc, to 750cc] were much better value. All except the one that I saw that I really, really, liked, it was fresh off the boat from Japan, the only one in the country, a Suzuki Slingshot 400cc 16valve in a metallic yellow and black finish. 0 to 60mph in 4 seconds! Unfortunately it was priced at US$2,000, much, much, more than I could stretch to on a volunteer allowance, even with help from mum and dad !
So half a dozen bike shops, much haggling and negotiating, not too mention much sweating in the 40C+ heat, I finally settle on my new bike. A Honda VF750 Custom Classic; it took me nearly an hour of haggling, discussing, drinking coffee, test driving and threatening to leave and go to another shop, but I managed to get him down from US$900 to US$750, which would leave me just enough left in the budget to pay the official registration fee, buy the licence plates from the police (just do not ask…) and to buy 5 metres of heavy duty chain and a large padlock!
Also as part of the deal I got him to agree to do a few more things to the bike before I pay for it – new tyres, new plugs, oil change, replace a broken clutch lever – which means that I have to wait until Monday before I can pick it up.
Think I might take the afternoon off work on Monday, just so that I can cruise around town and play on my new bike – err, oops, sorry, I mean, road test my new bike to get used to it !
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
NGO Monitor Org.
NGO Monitor Overview of NGOs
What is an NGO
Non Goverment Organisation
NGO Monitor defines NGOs as autonomous non-profit and non-party/politically-unaffiliated organizations that advance a particular cause or set of causes in the public interest. The range of causes on which an NGO can focus is unlimited, but a cardinal principle is that NGOs operate in a manner consistent with the objectives for which they receive funds. Donations are an NGO's lifeline because they are independent organizations. Funding can come from governments, the UN, private trusts and philanthropies, individual donations, religious institutions, and, in many cases, other NGOs.
NGOs can contribute to democracy through challenging governments and promoting social interests, but they themselves are not democratic institutions and have no democratic accountability. An NGO is only accountable to its particular funding organizations and members. Meanwhile, criticism of a human rights NGO is often dismissed as an attack on the values of human rights themselves.
Different Types of NGO
NGO Monitor was founded to address these issues by tracking the activities of humanitarian NGOs. In this framework, it is important to distinguish between three types of NGOs.
The first group consists of international bodies such as Amnesty and Human Rights Watch, whose operations are truly global and very influential. Amnesty International, for example, claims a membership of one and a half million, and an annual operating budget of $30 million with projects in 140 countries.
The second group is made up of region-specific NGOs such as Miftah, Palestinian Centre for Human Rights (PCHR), Physicians for Human Rights - Israel (PHR-I), and LAW. These regional "humanitarian" NGOs restrict their activities to the Arab-Israeli conflict and, in most cases, to criticism of Israel. The third group consists of NGOs that collect funds for a variety of projects and areas, and provide financial and technical support to smaller regional NGOs. Examples include the Ford Foundation, International Commission of Jurists (ICJ) New Israel Fund, Christian Aid, and the Advocacy Project.
How Do NGOs Operate
Much of the moral authority of NGOs, as well as their political strength, comes from support from funding and facilitator organizations. The huge budgets that NGOs have acquired turn them into political superpowers. Although the funding groups have a responsibility to ensure that their funds and support are not being directed in covert ways to support terrorism or political campaigns, such as the one being conducted by the Arab world against Israel, this requirement is largely ignored. While funding organizations have taken great care to establish financial-transparency mechanisms to make sure money is not misappropriated, the substantive work that the NGOs engage in has been subject to far less scrutiny. As a result, funding institutions and individuals have granted significant political power to organizations that hide behind a veneer of "moral guardianship."
Whom Funds NGOs
One can categorize three types of funding bodies active in the areas of human rights and humanitarian issues. The first consists of governmental bodies and UN organizations, such as the European Union, UNICEF,16 USAID, CIDA (Canada), and other ministries for overseas assistance. The second type, identified above, is made up of other NGOs that style themselves as "facilitator organizations," providing invaluable logistical, technical, financial, and professional support, such as the ICJ. The third type includes foundations such as the Ford Foundation and the German Fund for Palestinian NGOs.
Many well-meaning institutions may have unknowingly contributed political ammunition in the public relations war against Israel by continuing to finance NGOs that use a human right facade to conduct a campaign to delegitimize Israel. There are even Jewish organizations, such as the New Israel Fund, that have been deceived into assisting allegedly "humanitarian and reconciliation organizations," such as the Arab Association of Human Rights whose real activities focus on the propaganda war against Israel and are far removed from universal human rights issues.
What is an NGO
Non Goverment Organisation
NGO Monitor defines NGOs as autonomous non-profit and non-party/politically-unaffiliated organizations that advance a particular cause or set of causes in the public interest. The range of causes on which an NGO can focus is unlimited, but a cardinal principle is that NGOs operate in a manner consistent with the objectives for which they receive funds. Donations are an NGO's lifeline because they are independent organizations. Funding can come from governments, the UN, private trusts and philanthropies, individual donations, religious institutions, and, in many cases, other NGOs.
NGOs can contribute to democracy through challenging governments and promoting social interests, but they themselves are not democratic institutions and have no democratic accountability. An NGO is only accountable to its particular funding organizations and members. Meanwhile, criticism of a human rights NGO is often dismissed as an attack on the values of human rights themselves.
Different Types of NGO
NGO Monitor was founded to address these issues by tracking the activities of humanitarian NGOs. In this framework, it is important to distinguish between three types of NGOs.
The first group consists of international bodies such as Amnesty and Human Rights Watch, whose operations are truly global and very influential. Amnesty International, for example, claims a membership of one and a half million, and an annual operating budget of $30 million with projects in 140 countries.
The second group is made up of region-specific NGOs such as Miftah, Palestinian Centre for Human Rights (PCHR), Physicians for Human Rights - Israel (PHR-I), and LAW. These regional "humanitarian" NGOs restrict their activities to the Arab-Israeli conflict and, in most cases, to criticism of Israel. The third group consists of NGOs that collect funds for a variety of projects and areas, and provide financial and technical support to smaller regional NGOs. Examples include the Ford Foundation, International Commission of Jurists (ICJ) New Israel Fund, Christian Aid, and the Advocacy Project.
How Do NGOs Operate
Much of the moral authority of NGOs, as well as their political strength, comes from support from funding and facilitator organizations. The huge budgets that NGOs have acquired turn them into political superpowers. Although the funding groups have a responsibility to ensure that their funds and support are not being directed in covert ways to support terrorism or political campaigns, such as the one being conducted by the Arab world against Israel, this requirement is largely ignored. While funding organizations have taken great care to establish financial-transparency mechanisms to make sure money is not misappropriated, the substantive work that the NGOs engage in has been subject to far less scrutiny. As a result, funding institutions and individuals have granted significant political power to organizations that hide behind a veneer of "moral guardianship."
Whom Funds NGOs
One can categorize three types of funding bodies active in the areas of human rights and humanitarian issues. The first consists of governmental bodies and UN organizations, such as the European Union, UNICEF,16 USAID, CIDA (Canada), and other ministries for overseas assistance. The second type, identified above, is made up of other NGOs that style themselves as "facilitator organizations," providing invaluable logistical, technical, financial, and professional support, such as the ICJ. The third type includes foundations such as the Ford Foundation and the German Fund for Palestinian NGOs.
Many well-meaning institutions may have unknowingly contributed political ammunition in the public relations war against Israel by continuing to finance NGOs that use a human right facade to conduct a campaign to delegitimize Israel. There are even Jewish organizations, such as the New Israel Fund, that have been deceived into assisting allegedly "humanitarian and reconciliation organizations," such as the Arab Association of Human Rights whose real activities focus on the propaganda war against Israel and are far removed from universal human rights issues.
Monday, July 04, 2005
VSO Cambodia - Pay Cut update.
Just to add insult to injury, the Head of VSO-Cambodia has just left for a nice long 4 week holiday, the whole of July, touring several other Countries – along with his wife and three kids.
I am currently saving up for a long weekend down at Sihanoukville next month when I have friends over…
Ho Hum.
I mean, I know that I agreed to come and work as a volunteer, but I was informed in the VSO-London office that the average Khmer survives on around US$20 a month, so the US$200 I have for food, petrol, et cetera should be generous and comfortable.
However, this simply is not true.
Khmers do not survive on US$20.
They most certainly do not survive on that in Phnom Penh. All of my Khmer colleagues earn much, much, more than that, more than I get as a stipend as well.
I guess it is difficult for certain members of the NGO community to see the people of Cambodia from so high up in their air-conditioned ivory towers.
I am currently saving up for a long weekend down at Sihanoukville next month when I have friends over…
Ho Hum.
I mean, I know that I agreed to come and work as a volunteer, but I was informed in the VSO-London office that the average Khmer survives on around US$20 a month, so the US$200 I have for food, petrol, et cetera should be generous and comfortable.
However, this simply is not true.
Khmers do not survive on US$20.
They most certainly do not survive on that in Phnom Penh. All of my Khmer colleagues earn much, much, more than that, more than I get as a stipend as well.
I guess it is difficult for certain members of the NGO community to see the people of Cambodia from so high up in their air-conditioned ivory towers.
Friday, July 01, 2005
VSO Cambodia - news from the office...
I can hear a gecko laughing in the background somewhere…
Just received my monthly Newsletter from the VSO Cambodia office.
The first article in it was about how the office here needs to buy a new car, a nice shiny new 4x4 Land cruiser or something – bring the total up to 4 cars.
Now, us Phnom Penh volunteers have to buy our own transport, or buy it twice if you get your motorbike stolen…
But with an estimated 60 VSO volunteer-professionals working here by the end of the year, they feel that they need more fancy off-road cars to run around the city and country in.
The second article was that the VSO Cambodia director, in consultation with head office in London, feels that the current VSO stipend for Cambodia IS TOO HIGH !
Now, after I pay my rent and bills, I have about US$200 left for little luxuries every month like; food, petrol, et cetera or even the odd night out (heaven forbid) !?!
I would also like to point out at this point that the VSO staff (as opposed to us volunteers) is here earning the equivalent to their salary back in the UK – plus it is tax free...
So how the hell would they know if the allowance we receive is too high ???
During the 18 months that I have been here I have spent around US$10,000 of my own money.
No wonder I am losing patience with some of these people.
Yes, defiantly enough to make a gecko laugh.
Just received my monthly Newsletter from the VSO Cambodia office.
The first article in it was about how the office here needs to buy a new car, a nice shiny new 4x4 Land cruiser or something – bring the total up to 4 cars.
Now, us Phnom Penh volunteers have to buy our own transport, or buy it twice if you get your motorbike stolen…
But with an estimated 60 VSO volunteer-professionals working here by the end of the year, they feel that they need more fancy off-road cars to run around the city and country in.
The second article was that the VSO Cambodia director, in consultation with head office in London, feels that the current VSO stipend for Cambodia IS TOO HIGH !
Now, after I pay my rent and bills, I have about US$200 left for little luxuries every month like; food, petrol, et cetera or even the odd night out (heaven forbid) !?!
I would also like to point out at this point that the VSO staff (as opposed to us volunteers) is here earning the equivalent to their salary back in the UK – plus it is tax free...
So how the hell would they know if the allowance we receive is too high ???
During the 18 months that I have been here I have spent around US$10,000 of my own money.
No wonder I am losing patience with some of these people.
Yes, defiantly enough to make a gecko laugh.
National Fish Day !
June the 29th
National Fish Day III
Is it really only a year since the last National Fish Day?
It must say something about me working at the Ministry of Fish that this year I hardly even snigger anymore when I say ‘National Fish Day’…
I am looking at my gold embossed invitation from the Prime Minister of Cambodia, requesting the pleasure of the company of ‘His Excellency Darren Conquest’.
It does still makes me laugh when Khmers refer to me as ‘Your Excellency’ if only they knew me better :-)
03:30 – yes, half past three in the morning – my alarm goes off, it takes every ounce of will power I process (yes, both ounces) to drag myself out of bed at this most ungodly hour.
04:10 – I am sat in the office with a very strong iced coffee waiting for the rest of my colleagues
to turn up, my boss is pacing up and down the car-park muttering ‘no discipline’ to himself and me
05:00 – the large air-conditioned bus is here…
05:15 – the rest of my colleagues turn up and the bus that ‘had to leave at 04:30 or we would be late’ finally get on the road
I manage to doze a little on the road out of town, but once we reached the provincial roads there was no chance of it. You maybe able to avoid the bumps and potholes on a bike, but on a 44 seat bus you just hit everything.
06:30 – we reach the ferry town of Neak Luong, a place I have been to half a dozen times over the last year. Stretching our legs for the 15 minute ferry crossing of the Mekong river we are accosted by numerous people selling cold drinks, snacks, nik naks and keepsakes, all par for the course.
06:45 once over the Mekong the bus pulls into a petrol station – presumably to fill up on contraband petrol smuggled here from the Vietnamese border which is only an hour away from here. So we all descend on a small pavement restaurant and set about eating breakfast; my usual rice with pork and chilli’s came with an added bonus in this part of the country hard boiled barbequed eggs!?!? Slightly tough in texture, but quite a pleasant taste!
07:15 we are back on the road for the final stretch to the lake
07:45 – cutting it fine I take my seat on the dais with the Prime Minister, one of the deputy Prime Ministers (they have 4 you know!) the Minister of Agriculture, the Director of Fisheries and other assorted big wigs.
08:00 – the opening speech is from H.E. Suran the Minister of Agriculture, Farms and Fisheries, I hardly listened to the simultaneous translation earpiece, I had edited and rewritten this speech last week, I could have given it!
While I am busy not paying attention to my own Minister I am looking at Hun Sen, the Prime Minister, he is sat one row in front of me and 3 seats to the left. An old woman is sat just behind him with an aluminium briefcase which I see her open. She starts taking out the contents and lays them out on the coffee table in front of Hun Sen. A gold and ivory ashtray, a gold lighter, a packet of 555 brand cigarettes, a crystal glass with silver filigree base, handle and lid, several chilled packets of wet wipes and an ice cold bottle of Evian water. - now that is what you call personal service, guess it pays to be a Prime Minister even in a poor third world country :-)
08:30 – the Prime Minister Samdech Hun Sen get up to make his speech, taking the silver/crystal glass of ice cold Evian with him… As usual his 30 minute speech lasted 40 minutes and only about 10 of that was about fish, the rest was his usual relevance safari about monks, education, history, the king and the obligatory anecdote about ‘when I was a boy growing up in a rice field with no shoes…’
09:10 – speeches over, those of us on the dais head down to the marina to start the ceremonial releasing of fish into the lake, half a dozen huge fish tanks have been set up on the end of the dock, filled with fingerlings, baby eels, crabs, lobsters, et cetera. We all had some flat shrimping nets and took it in turns to fish out some critters and toss them in the lake.
09:30 – and the chopper is spinning up its blades to fly the PM off to his next engagement, I meanwhile an walking through a dusty field looking for the damn bus because everyone else had already wandered of.
12:00 – back in Phnom Penh safe and sound, spot of lunch and then back to the office for a meeting. Think I might leave early though…
National Fish Day III
Is it really only a year since the last National Fish Day?
It must say something about me working at the Ministry of Fish that this year I hardly even snigger anymore when I say ‘National Fish Day’…
I am looking at my gold embossed invitation from the Prime Minister of Cambodia, requesting the pleasure of the company of ‘His Excellency Darren Conquest’.
It does still makes me laugh when Khmers refer to me as ‘Your Excellency’ if only they knew me better :-)
03:30 – yes, half past three in the morning – my alarm goes off, it takes every ounce of will power I process (yes, both ounces) to drag myself out of bed at this most ungodly hour.
04:10 – I am sat in the office with a very strong iced coffee waiting for the rest of my colleagues
to turn up, my boss is pacing up and down the car-park muttering ‘no discipline’ to himself and me
05:00 – the large air-conditioned bus is here…
05:15 – the rest of my colleagues turn up and the bus that ‘had to leave at 04:30 or we would be late’ finally get on the road
I manage to doze a little on the road out of town, but once we reached the provincial roads there was no chance of it. You maybe able to avoid the bumps and potholes on a bike, but on a 44 seat bus you just hit everything.
06:30 – we reach the ferry town of Neak Luong, a place I have been to half a dozen times over the last year. Stretching our legs for the 15 minute ferry crossing of the Mekong river we are accosted by numerous people selling cold drinks, snacks, nik naks and keepsakes, all par for the course.
06:45 once over the Mekong the bus pulls into a petrol station – presumably to fill up on contraband petrol smuggled here from the Vietnamese border which is only an hour away from here. So we all descend on a small pavement restaurant and set about eating breakfast; my usual rice with pork and chilli’s came with an added bonus in this part of the country hard boiled barbequed eggs!?!? Slightly tough in texture, but quite a pleasant taste!
07:15 we are back on the road for the final stretch to the lake
07:45 – cutting it fine I take my seat on the dais with the Prime Minister, one of the deputy Prime Ministers (they have 4 you know!) the Minister of Agriculture, the Director of Fisheries and other assorted big wigs.
08:00 – the opening speech is from H.E. Suran the Minister of Agriculture, Farms and Fisheries, I hardly listened to the simultaneous translation earpiece, I had edited and rewritten this speech last week, I could have given it!
While I am busy not paying attention to my own Minister I am looking at Hun Sen, the Prime Minister, he is sat one row in front of me and 3 seats to the left. An old woman is sat just behind him with an aluminium briefcase which I see her open. She starts taking out the contents and lays them out on the coffee table in front of Hun Sen. A gold and ivory ashtray, a gold lighter, a packet of 555 brand cigarettes, a crystal glass with silver filigree base, handle and lid, several chilled packets of wet wipes and an ice cold bottle of Evian water. - now that is what you call personal service, guess it pays to be a Prime Minister even in a poor third world country :-)
08:30 – the Prime Minister Samdech Hun Sen get up to make his speech, taking the silver/crystal glass of ice cold Evian with him… As usual his 30 minute speech lasted 40 minutes and only about 10 of that was about fish, the rest was his usual relevance safari about monks, education, history, the king and the obligatory anecdote about ‘when I was a boy growing up in a rice field with no shoes…’
09:10 – speeches over, those of us on the dais head down to the marina to start the ceremonial releasing of fish into the lake, half a dozen huge fish tanks have been set up on the end of the dock, filled with fingerlings, baby eels, crabs, lobsters, et cetera. We all had some flat shrimping nets and took it in turns to fish out some critters and toss them in the lake.
09:30 – and the chopper is spinning up its blades to fly the PM off to his next engagement, I meanwhile an walking through a dusty field looking for the damn bus because everyone else had already wandered of.
12:00 – back in Phnom Penh safe and sound, spot of lunch and then back to the office for a meeting. Think I might leave early though…
Police or Beggars with guns ???
Again, a late post, sorry, been busy !
Monday the 20th
Her Majesty, Queen Monirith of Cambodia’s Birthday
Yes, it is the second of the 2 bank holidays this month.
Good old Queen Monirith of Cambodia is having a royal knees-up at the palace this evening, a few of the guys I work with at the Ministry had invites, but unfortunately I was not able to get one. Damn, only attending one royal birthday party this month, what is the world coming too !
So instead I had to console myself with going and picking up my new motor bike; vroom, vroom.
Collecting my nice shiny new set of wheels, I head north up Monivong Boulevard – a duel carriageway running North to South through the centre of the city, just to give it a little try out. Stopping at a set of traffic lights near the central market I am suddenly surrounded by Khmer police.
They have set up an ‘informal’ checkpoint and start asking for registration documents et cetera. Having just collected the bike I had not had time (like 5 minutes of ownership!) to go to my local police station and purchase (that is to say, bribe) the documents from the local police chief (because that is the way that it works here) so for the fourth time in a month I am being shaken down for a back hander by the corrupt police here. I am starting to suspect that the government has not paid them for a few months, which is what is causing this sudden increase in impromptu traffic police road blocks and check points. So ten minutes later, and US$5 lighter, I am at the shop having my licence plates made, ho hum.
Now, the official cost to register a motorbike with the police and get license plates made is US$12 for a Khmer and US$20 for a foreigner. After haggling for 20 minutes with my local police chief the lowest he would go was US$250 !!!
Now if you get stopped by the traffic police and you 'do not have your documents on you’ the spot fine is officially 2,000r – (or 50cents / 30pence) although if a foreigner is stopped they usually open the haggling at US$10 or even US$20, normally I end up paying US$1 – but it helps that I can haggle in Khmer, only once have I ever paid 2,000r and that guy did not haggle, just asked for the 2,000r and let me go! (he may have been new on the job)
So, if I usually pay US$1 when stopped by the police I would have to be stopped 250 times and not pay anything at all to break even on the size of the bribe the police chief wanted to register my bike…
I had a guy on a street corner make my unofficial license plate for US$3. it will take me a long time and a lot of US$1 stops to get to US$250, although I might try again for registered plates in a month or so when the government finally gets around to giving the police their back-pay. All US$20 a month of it !?!? No wonder the traffic police here are so corrupt, not even in Cambodia can you live on US$20 a month, not even close.
Monday the 20th
Her Majesty, Queen Monirith of Cambodia’s Birthday
Yes, it is the second of the 2 bank holidays this month.
Good old Queen Monirith of Cambodia is having a royal knees-up at the palace this evening, a few of the guys I work with at the Ministry had invites, but unfortunately I was not able to get one. Damn, only attending one royal birthday party this month, what is the world coming too !
So instead I had to console myself with going and picking up my new motor bike; vroom, vroom.
Collecting my nice shiny new set of wheels, I head north up Monivong Boulevard – a duel carriageway running North to South through the centre of the city, just to give it a little try out. Stopping at a set of traffic lights near the central market I am suddenly surrounded by Khmer police.
They have set up an ‘informal’ checkpoint and start asking for registration documents et cetera. Having just collected the bike I had not had time (like 5 minutes of ownership!) to go to my local police station and purchase (that is to say, bribe) the documents from the local police chief (because that is the way that it works here) so for the fourth time in a month I am being shaken down for a back hander by the corrupt police here. I am starting to suspect that the government has not paid them for a few months, which is what is causing this sudden increase in impromptu traffic police road blocks and check points. So ten minutes later, and US$5 lighter, I am at the shop having my licence plates made, ho hum.
Now, the official cost to register a motorbike with the police and get license plates made is US$12 for a Khmer and US$20 for a foreigner. After haggling for 20 minutes with my local police chief the lowest he would go was US$250 !!!
Now if you get stopped by the traffic police and you 'do not have your documents on you’ the spot fine is officially 2,000r – (or 50cents / 30pence) although if a foreigner is stopped they usually open the haggling at US$10 or even US$20, normally I end up paying US$1 – but it helps that I can haggle in Khmer, only once have I ever paid 2,000r and that guy did not haggle, just asked for the 2,000r and let me go! (he may have been new on the job)
So, if I usually pay US$1 when stopped by the police I would have to be stopped 250 times and not pay anything at all to break even on the size of the bribe the police chief wanted to register my bike…
I had a guy on a street corner make my unofficial license plate for US$3. it will take me a long time and a lot of US$1 stops to get to US$250, although I might try again for registered plates in a month or so when the government finally gets around to giving the police their back-pay. All US$20 a month of it !?!? No wonder the traffic police here are so corrupt, not even in Cambodia can you live on US$20 a month, not even close.
The Birthday of Queen Elizabeth of England
Slightly belated posting of this story, sorry, been busy !
Thursday the 16th of June
The Birthday of Queen Elizabeth of England
Because of the confluence of events today, I actually forgot for a while that I was going to the embassy ball, I also forgot that my bike had been stolen and that I had not transport.
Deciding that I did still want to go to the embassy ball I got ready and suddenly realised that I was going to have to arrive there by motodop, motorcycle taxi.
So, dressed up to the nines, suited’n’booted, dressed and pressed; I am sat on the back of a scruffy looking 20 year old Honda Daelim, with a slightly confused motodop weaving in and out of traffic along Mao Tse Tung Boulevard. As we approach the Intercontinental Hotel the police are blocking off traffic going both ways as several large black 4x4’s with tinted windows were pulling into the Hotel at the same time; yes the Khmer top brass were there; a couple of the deputy Prime Ministers (Cambodia has 5) as well as several Ministers and Under Secretaries.
My driver was somewhat unsure about driving through all this police and security, until I was able, in Khmer, to assure him that I was going to the same place as everyone else!
Once through the elaborate security procedures inside the hotel – a young girl taking coats – we enter the main Ballroom, around 200 people were there already. Circulating slowly around the room a waitress wandered past and handed me a glass of Champagne. Not yet seeing anyone that I knew I paused briefly by a large ice sculpture of a London Double Decker bus !?!
At that point the Under Secretary from the British Embassy took the stage, three feet to the right of me, hello everybody!
He explained that the British Ambassador, David Reader, could not be with us this evening as he had flown up to Siem Reap, the little boy that died had been Canadian and Canada is still part of the British Commonwealth like Australia. We were asked to observe a minutes silence before the rest of the speeches.
Fortunately the rest of the speeches only took about 10 minutes – other Khmer speeches I have attended over the last year have gone on for over an hour per person; culturally the more important you are the longer you speak for, thankfully this was not the case here.
At the close of the speeches, both the Khmer and British National anthems were played and sung by the 8 piece band I had not previously noticed. The singer was a Khmer woman, and I have to say, it was slightly strange hearing ‘god save our gracious queen’ sung in a Khmer accent !
Although the four violinists seemed excellent throughout the night, the piano player kept yawning and chatting to one of the cello players.
The formalities over, I took to mingling with the other guests.
In a country of near constant oppressive heat, where you usually have to dress for comfort, no so much for style, it was nice to see so many people make the effort to dress up. The diplomatic corps were there of course, with representatives from most of the city’s Embassies, turned out as neatly as if they were working in a London office. My fellow volunteers had also made a major effort. There was however a small contingent of the NGO crowd who it seems had decided to come dressed as unwashed smelly old hippies, although I suspect that this is their normal mode of dress… The Khmers were all dressed in ‘serious business attire’ and they seemed to view those in scruffy T-shirts and tattered, floral dresses with some bafflement, Khmers can be ultra conservative at times, and this sort of event with senior officials and a couple of members of the royal family present was, to them, a very serious affair.
Anyway, after a couple of hours socialising and catching up with friends of mine that normally work out in the provinces we decided to head over to the assorted buffet tables.
As my normal existence is mostly on rice (around 15 meals of rice a week, out of 21) I do tend to get slightly carried away when presented with food from home, doubly so if it has been prepared in a 5 star hotel restaurant and even more so if it is made from ingredients that had been airlifted in from the UK by diplomatic courier !
The hot buffet selection included:
Steak and Kidney pie, with a super-light and fluffy short crust pastry lid
Lincolnshire sausages
Rare fillet of Aberdeen Angus
Yorkshire puddings
Vegetable fritters
Mini jacket potatoes stuffed with spiced lamb
Fish with a dry curry rub crust
Chips and roast potatoes
For dessert we had a selection of; cheesecake, bread and butter pudding, fruit salad, ice cream.
On a separate buffet table they also had; Asian noodles, fried rice, et cetera. However, I decided to give the rice and noodles a miss for the evening :-)
Thursday the 16th of June
The Birthday of Queen Elizabeth of England
Because of the confluence of events today, I actually forgot for a while that I was going to the embassy ball, I also forgot that my bike had been stolen and that I had not transport.
Deciding that I did still want to go to the embassy ball I got ready and suddenly realised that I was going to have to arrive there by motodop, motorcycle taxi.
So, dressed up to the nines, suited’n’booted, dressed and pressed; I am sat on the back of a scruffy looking 20 year old Honda Daelim, with a slightly confused motodop weaving in and out of traffic along Mao Tse Tung Boulevard. As we approach the Intercontinental Hotel the police are blocking off traffic going both ways as several large black 4x4’s with tinted windows were pulling into the Hotel at the same time; yes the Khmer top brass were there; a couple of the deputy Prime Ministers (Cambodia has 5) as well as several Ministers and Under Secretaries.
My driver was somewhat unsure about driving through all this police and security, until I was able, in Khmer, to assure him that I was going to the same place as everyone else!
Once through the elaborate security procedures inside the hotel – a young girl taking coats – we enter the main Ballroom, around 200 people were there already. Circulating slowly around the room a waitress wandered past and handed me a glass of Champagne. Not yet seeing anyone that I knew I paused briefly by a large ice sculpture of a London Double Decker bus !?!
At that point the Under Secretary from the British Embassy took the stage, three feet to the right of me, hello everybody!
He explained that the British Ambassador, David Reader, could not be with us this evening as he had flown up to Siem Reap, the little boy that died had been Canadian and Canada is still part of the British Commonwealth like Australia. We were asked to observe a minutes silence before the rest of the speeches.
Fortunately the rest of the speeches only took about 10 minutes – other Khmer speeches I have attended over the last year have gone on for over an hour per person; culturally the more important you are the longer you speak for, thankfully this was not the case here.
At the close of the speeches, both the Khmer and British National anthems were played and sung by the 8 piece band I had not previously noticed. The singer was a Khmer woman, and I have to say, it was slightly strange hearing ‘god save our gracious queen’ sung in a Khmer accent !
Although the four violinists seemed excellent throughout the night, the piano player kept yawning and chatting to one of the cello players.
The formalities over, I took to mingling with the other guests.
In a country of near constant oppressive heat, where you usually have to dress for comfort, no so much for style, it was nice to see so many people make the effort to dress up. The diplomatic corps were there of course, with representatives from most of the city’s Embassies, turned out as neatly as if they were working in a London office. My fellow volunteers had also made a major effort. There was however a small contingent of the NGO crowd who it seems had decided to come dressed as unwashed smelly old hippies, although I suspect that this is their normal mode of dress… The Khmers were all dressed in ‘serious business attire’ and they seemed to view those in scruffy T-shirts and tattered, floral dresses with some bafflement, Khmers can be ultra conservative at times, and this sort of event with senior officials and a couple of members of the royal family present was, to them, a very serious affair.
Anyway, after a couple of hours socialising and catching up with friends of mine that normally work out in the provinces we decided to head over to the assorted buffet tables.
As my normal existence is mostly on rice (around 15 meals of rice a week, out of 21) I do tend to get slightly carried away when presented with food from home, doubly so if it has been prepared in a 5 star hotel restaurant and even more so if it is made from ingredients that had been airlifted in from the UK by diplomatic courier !
The hot buffet selection included:
Steak and Kidney pie, with a super-light and fluffy short crust pastry lid
Lincolnshire sausages
Rare fillet of Aberdeen Angus
Yorkshire puddings
Vegetable fritters
Mini jacket potatoes stuffed with spiced lamb
Fish with a dry curry rub crust
Chips and roast potatoes
For dessert we had a selection of; cheesecake, bread and butter pudding, fruit salad, ice cream.
On a separate buffet table they also had; Asian noodles, fried rice, et cetera. However, I decided to give the rice and noodles a miss for the evening :-)
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Pets in Cambodia and Booze
Drinks Dog
This is a true story about the recent misadventures of Sok-Sok, a scrawny off license dog, now “ Scrawny off license dog" is not an officially recognised Crufts breed, but it is one that will be instantly recognisable to anyone in Cambodia.
Sok-Sok hangs out all day at Khmer Booze stall near my house, the equivalent of my neighbourhood off license. She belongs to Chea, the store manager.
(Actually, no one would mistake Sok-Sok for a purebred. She is comically two-toned, with a completely black-velvet snoot and a completely blond body, as though a black dog had been held by the nose, Achilles'-heel style, and dipped into a vat of peroxide.)
Sok-Sok's best dog buddy is Tec, who also lives nearby. My theory is that Sok-Sok likes hanging around Tec for the benefit of physical comparison -- the way ugly girls always seem to hang around a hot one, if you get my drift. Tec appears to be a cross between a hyena and a wildebeest.
Sok-Sok and Tec are personable dogs, and everyone loves them. So it became a neighbourhood crisis when word spread that Sok-Sok was missing. She had been in Tec's house on a sort of food stealing mission; unexpectedly, someone opened the front door, and Sok-Sok pondered her options.
Option One: Remain in the house and in the custody of people who love you and provide you a comfortable, stimulating life, nourished in body and mind by ample food and exciting adventures.
Option Two: Bolt for the street and run like a lunatic, becoming a homeless cur in boiling temperatures in an inhospitable city where you will die of exposure and/or starvation in agony, or, if you are lucky, get squashed by a car into a pile of doggy based goo.
Sok-Sok was gone in an instant, of course.
I am not making fun of Sok-Sok's brain. Sok-Sok has a fine brain, for a dog. She is, for example, vastly more intelligent than any dog I have ever owned. But then again, I have always had cats.
Once it became clear that Sok-Sok was good and lost, Chea and his wife, Peakt, leapt into action. Peakt is a take-charge type -- a practical woman, a Khmer woman, rational, prudent, chief-financial-officer, executive-boss type. Peakt telephoned a psychic magic woman in Prey Veng province.
(Have you ever lost a dog? I did not think so. Let us cut Peakt some slack here. )
The psychic -- a renowned expert in "interspecies telepathy," according to many members of her family -- offered many observations, for a fee of 60,000r. None of them were right.
At this point, Peakt knew she had to take some additional, even more serious action. So she called another magic woman
(Does anyone happen to have any extra slack? My inventory seems to be running short.)
Thus, Peakt and Chea learned many more vital facts about where Sok-Sok might be, all of which, for some reason, proved wrong. By this time, more than a week of rainy weather had passed. Posters had been hung on the nearby tree and a small battalion of Concerned fellow stall owners combed the area. Nothing.
Deep in their hearts, Chea and Peakt understood how bleak things looked. They sensed what they had to do. Sometimes you have to Just Let Go.
So they decided to let go of an additional 20,000r. They called in a pet detective. Well actually it was the local guy who comes round to remove poisonous snakes found in poor peoples houses but lets not get fussy here.
Pith Bunna, professional animal (man)handler and canine detective, hopped on his moped and headed over to BKK.
Bunna worked tirelessly, but it made no difference. Two weeks to the day after Sok-Sok disappeared, a Good Samaritan phoned Peakt to say he'd spotted a dog matching Sok-Sok's description on the street corner opposite from when the Drinks Stall was. Chea and Peakt raced over the road calling Sok-Sok's name, until they came to a wooden shack from which Sok-Sok emerged, skinny but fine.
Sok-Sok approached them in that slap-happy, semi apologetic dog-who-has-done-something-wrong manner, where the tail is wagging but the dog appears to be simultaneously attempting to wipe the ground with its butt. Sok-Sok seemed to be saying,
"Hi. whattookyousolongI'msorryIloveyoudoyouhaveanyfood?" only in Khmer of course.
The next day, I brought Sok-Sok a welcome-back present of three dog biscuits and a dried pig ear, tied up with a ribbon and bow. She ate the bow, too.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
The return of the (abdicated) king
The return of the (abdicated) king
King Sihanouk has sent an 'open letter' to the parliaments and governments of Thailand, Vietnam and Laos, calling on them to stop nibbling away the villages, lands, seas and islands belonging to Cambodia
When King Norodom Sihanouk of Cambodia abdicated in October 2004, the political elite in Phnom Penh promptly celebrated and felt that at last they were going to be able to continue their activities without the old monarch bothering them through his daily postings on his website condemning the corruption of the elite, the lack of good governance, illegal logging and the dire poverty in which most ordinary Cambodians live.
They hastily passed legislation in the National Assembly proclaiming King Sihanouk ''The King-Father of Independence and National Reconciliation'' together with a budget to enjoy his retirement.
But they were in for a surprise.The king-father had already planned a retirement which includes making sure that Cambodia's borders remain as they were back in 1969, respected and recognised as they were by most countries, including the United States, with the exception of Thailand, Laos and the then Republic of South Vietnam.
The king-father, who has been in Beijing since January this year treating a recurrent stomach cancer, has long been concerned by bilateral border agreements signed by the former People's Republic of Kampuchea with Vietnam, when that country's army occupied Cambodia after overthrowing the Pol Pot regime.
He has said that he will never recognise those agreements which are contrary to formal promises made to him by the Vietnamese leadership to respect Cambodia's territorial integrity after the re-unification of South and North Vietnam.
The former monarch says Thailand profited from a treaty it signed with Vietnam in August 1997, delimiting the waters of the Gulf of Thailand, while Cambodia lost some 30,000 square kilometres of its maritime territory.
He also alleges that Thailand took over border areas that were controlled by the Cambodian resistance during Vietnam's occupation of the country.Laos is alleged by King Sihanouk to have taken parcels of land belonging to Cambodia in the border province of Stung-Treng, preventing the renovation of an old road built during the French Protectorate, which China has agreed to finance.An ancient Khmer prediction suggested in olden days that the Khmers would have to choose one day between being eaten by the tigers or swallowed by crocodiles.
Following the signing of the Paris Agreements of 1991, many believed that the agreements would end any territorial problems as they were signed by all of Cambodia's neighbours and also because the then State of Cambodia engaged itself to revoke any treaties that were incompatible with Cambodia's sovereignty.
On March 31, six months after his abdication, King Sihanouk began what amounts to a new royal crusade to preserve Cambodia's territorial integrity.
He issued an ''open letter'' to the parliaments and governments of the Kingdom of Thailand, the Socialist Republic of Vietnam and the DPR of Laos, that called on them to stop nibbling away the villages, lands, seas and islands belonging to Cambodia.
Prime Minister Hun Sen, who maintains close relations with Vietnam, is reported to have been furious with the king's open letter, as he does not wish the special relationship with Vietnam to be disturbed by border issues.
However, following the advice of calmer voices in his cabinet, he hastily decided to follow up one of King Sihanouk's recent suggestions: the establishment of a non-partisan body to tackle the thorny issue of Cambodia's borders.On May 9, 2005, King Norodom Sihamoni signed a decree establishing the Supreme National Council of Border Affairs, which brings together one representative each of the king, the chairmen of the Senate and National Assembly and of the three political parties sitting in the Cambodian National Assembly.
King Sihanouk's strategy forced the government to tackle an issue that the government did not want to touch. He had successfully used the same tactics to get the succession issue resolved last year, when he suddenly abdicated, leaving the government with no alternative but to hastily pass legislation setting up the Council of the Crown and get a new monarch elected.
But the newly and grandly named Supreme National Council of Border Affairs is a tiger without teeth. Indeed, the royal decree signed by King Sihanouk's son, King Sihamoni, but drafted solely by senior government officials without the participation of the royal palace, does not give the council any real power to solve the border issue but only to research and assess questions pertaining to the land and sea borders of Cambodia, to advise the government, as well as to pay on-spot visits to border areas where incidents may have occurred.
The council is not empowered to negotiate with foreign countries when problems arise in the border areas.King Sihanouk had planned the activities of the Supreme National Council of Border Affairs with gusto and haste, calling for a meeting of the council the afternoon after his scheduled return to Cambodia, on May 8, immediately after a press conference, the first he would have given in at least five years.
But fate threw his arrangements into chaos. On May 1, Chinese doctors informed the king that the cancer treatment he had been following in Beijing was not working and that it was necessary for the retired monarch to follow a course of chemotherapy. Disappointed but undeterred, the king called a meeting of the Border Council in Beijing. This took place on May 11 and 12 in the Chinese capital but as its deliberations are supposed to remain confidential, not much was known of what transpired at the Beijing meeting.
This was until it was leaked to the press that during the meeting, Princess Norodom Vacheahra, vice president of the border council representing the chairman of the Cambodian National Assembly and half-sister of the king-father, proposed the amendment of the royal decree establishing the council in order to give more power to the council and its president.
Critics of the way the border council was created say that it should have been established by legislation passed by parliament and proclaimed by the king in order to have a legal competence properly recognised and not just by a royal decree. The decree gives the border council president no executive power but holds King Norodom Sihanouk responsible for the country's border disputes.
Since the first meeting of the border council and following an appeal by King Sihanouk, volunteers, students and other concerned citizens have been paying visits to the border areas and reporting back to the king-father on their findings.The former monarch has posted them on his website in Khmer but without the names of the authors in order to protect their identity.
Phnom Penh newspapers have reported that Prime Minister Hun Sen, angered by Princess Vacheahra's draft amendment of the role of the border council, has asked Prince Norodom Ranariddh, chairman of the National Assembly, to replace her with someone who would follow the instructions of the ruling parties and speak the same language at meetings of the council.
It is not known when the next meeting of the border council will take place, and much depends on King Sihanouk's health.
King Sihanouk has sent an 'open letter' to the parliaments and governments of Thailand, Vietnam and Laos, calling on them to stop nibbling away the villages, lands, seas and islands belonging to Cambodia
When King Norodom Sihanouk of Cambodia abdicated in October 2004, the political elite in Phnom Penh promptly celebrated and felt that at last they were going to be able to continue their activities without the old monarch bothering them through his daily postings on his website condemning the corruption of the elite, the lack of good governance, illegal logging and the dire poverty in which most ordinary Cambodians live.
They hastily passed legislation in the National Assembly proclaiming King Sihanouk ''The King-Father of Independence and National Reconciliation'' together with a budget to enjoy his retirement.
But they were in for a surprise.The king-father had already planned a retirement which includes making sure that Cambodia's borders remain as they were back in 1969, respected and recognised as they were by most countries, including the United States, with the exception of Thailand, Laos and the then Republic of South Vietnam.
The king-father, who has been in Beijing since January this year treating a recurrent stomach cancer, has long been concerned by bilateral border agreements signed by the former People's Republic of Kampuchea with Vietnam, when that country's army occupied Cambodia after overthrowing the Pol Pot regime.
He has said that he will never recognise those agreements which are contrary to formal promises made to him by the Vietnamese leadership to respect Cambodia's territorial integrity after the re-unification of South and North Vietnam.
The former monarch says Thailand profited from a treaty it signed with Vietnam in August 1997, delimiting the waters of the Gulf of Thailand, while Cambodia lost some 30,000 square kilometres of its maritime territory.
He also alleges that Thailand took over border areas that were controlled by the Cambodian resistance during Vietnam's occupation of the country.Laos is alleged by King Sihanouk to have taken parcels of land belonging to Cambodia in the border province of Stung-Treng, preventing the renovation of an old road built during the French Protectorate, which China has agreed to finance.An ancient Khmer prediction suggested in olden days that the Khmers would have to choose one day between being eaten by the tigers or swallowed by crocodiles.
Following the signing of the Paris Agreements of 1991, many believed that the agreements would end any territorial problems as they were signed by all of Cambodia's neighbours and also because the then State of Cambodia engaged itself to revoke any treaties that were incompatible with Cambodia's sovereignty.
On March 31, six months after his abdication, King Sihanouk began what amounts to a new royal crusade to preserve Cambodia's territorial integrity.
He issued an ''open letter'' to the parliaments and governments of the Kingdom of Thailand, the Socialist Republic of Vietnam and the DPR of Laos, that called on them to stop nibbling away the villages, lands, seas and islands belonging to Cambodia.
Prime Minister Hun Sen, who maintains close relations with Vietnam, is reported to have been furious with the king's open letter, as he does not wish the special relationship with Vietnam to be disturbed by border issues.
However, following the advice of calmer voices in his cabinet, he hastily decided to follow up one of King Sihanouk's recent suggestions: the establishment of a non-partisan body to tackle the thorny issue of Cambodia's borders.On May 9, 2005, King Norodom Sihamoni signed a decree establishing the Supreme National Council of Border Affairs, which brings together one representative each of the king, the chairmen of the Senate and National Assembly and of the three political parties sitting in the Cambodian National Assembly.
King Sihanouk's strategy forced the government to tackle an issue that the government did not want to touch. He had successfully used the same tactics to get the succession issue resolved last year, when he suddenly abdicated, leaving the government with no alternative but to hastily pass legislation setting up the Council of the Crown and get a new monarch elected.
But the newly and grandly named Supreme National Council of Border Affairs is a tiger without teeth. Indeed, the royal decree signed by King Sihanouk's son, King Sihamoni, but drafted solely by senior government officials without the participation of the royal palace, does not give the council any real power to solve the border issue but only to research and assess questions pertaining to the land and sea borders of Cambodia, to advise the government, as well as to pay on-spot visits to border areas where incidents may have occurred.
The council is not empowered to negotiate with foreign countries when problems arise in the border areas.King Sihanouk had planned the activities of the Supreme National Council of Border Affairs with gusto and haste, calling for a meeting of the council the afternoon after his scheduled return to Cambodia, on May 8, immediately after a press conference, the first he would have given in at least five years.
But fate threw his arrangements into chaos. On May 1, Chinese doctors informed the king that the cancer treatment he had been following in Beijing was not working and that it was necessary for the retired monarch to follow a course of chemotherapy. Disappointed but undeterred, the king called a meeting of the Border Council in Beijing. This took place on May 11 and 12 in the Chinese capital but as its deliberations are supposed to remain confidential, not much was known of what transpired at the Beijing meeting.
This was until it was leaked to the press that during the meeting, Princess Norodom Vacheahra, vice president of the border council representing the chairman of the Cambodian National Assembly and half-sister of the king-father, proposed the amendment of the royal decree establishing the council in order to give more power to the council and its president.
Critics of the way the border council was created say that it should have been established by legislation passed by parliament and proclaimed by the king in order to have a legal competence properly recognised and not just by a royal decree. The decree gives the border council president no executive power but holds King Norodom Sihanouk responsible for the country's border disputes.
Since the first meeting of the border council and following an appeal by King Sihanouk, volunteers, students and other concerned citizens have been paying visits to the border areas and reporting back to the king-father on their findings.The former monarch has posted them on his website in Khmer but without the names of the authors in order to protect their identity.
Phnom Penh newspapers have reported that Prime Minister Hun Sen, angered by Princess Vacheahra's draft amendment of the role of the border council, has asked Prince Norodom Ranariddh, chairman of the National Assembly, to replace her with someone who would follow the instructions of the ruling parties and speak the same language at meetings of the council.
It is not known when the next meeting of the border council will take place, and much depends on King Sihanouk's health.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Beer Promotion Women
Beer girls Rebranded by Bored Bints
Okay, okay. I tried to ignore it. I tried to say nothing and not get up on my soapbox and rant. But I failed, but hey, I managed to do that for a whole 2 days now, which is a record for me.
Wednesday, the US Based NGO Care International went public and started bleating on about beer girls, or to give them their freshly laundered politically correct name, ‘beer promotion women’ like a change in name is all that is needed to change peoples thoughts. They feel that the issue of indirect sex workers is ‘about sensitising the stakeholders’ which roughly translated from the NGO-masturbation-ese means that they blame the companies that make the beer - remember folks, business is bad, profit is evil, it is always the fault of the company, never the individual employee.
For the time being we will leave aside their own argument that all women are indirect sex workers, the only difference is the type of currency being used; dinner, flowers, chocolates and champagne …
But you may all rest easy in your beds at night knowing that Care Int. is on the case, they are going to … wait for it … wait for it … they are going to redesign the dresses that they wear!
Yes, with longer skirts and higher necklines, drunken Khmer men will suddenly stop thinking about having sex with attractive women, especially when we stop calling them ‘beer girls’ and start calling them ‘empowered, non-gender specific, sales representatives entitled to wear long and high clothing only’ well, actually, that phrase alone is enough to cool my ardour.
So as my ardour is cooled what do I do?
What I do, in true free market fashion, is take my arse down to another beer garden, which has not been emancipated by this nonsense.
Their aim is a ‘zero tolerance’ policy on girls being harassed. But what is harassment? Is it just flirting and attention from somebody whom you do not find attractive ?
Okay, forget Cambodia for a moment, I have worked in London, New York, Paris, Milan and many other cities around the world, I have holidayed in even more. A common underlying thread to all of these is that every so often I will go to a bar, I will drink beer and if I am given half a chance, I will flirt and laugh with a pretty waitress or two. Quick, you had better throw me in jail, I feel a bout of this coming upon me for this weekend...
The trouble with this blanket of nonsense is that it draws attention away from honest to goodness cases of assault, which by the way, there are already laws in place against, it defocuses the general public from real problems and issues. It also serves to reinforce the concept that NGO’s are useless and self-serving.
What is that noise in the background? Is it a gecko laughing ??
Okay, okay. I tried to ignore it. I tried to say nothing and not get up on my soapbox and rant. But I failed, but hey, I managed to do that for a whole 2 days now, which is a record for me.
Wednesday, the US Based NGO Care International went public and started bleating on about beer girls, or to give them their freshly laundered politically correct name, ‘beer promotion women’ like a change in name is all that is needed to change peoples thoughts. They feel that the issue of indirect sex workers is ‘about sensitising the stakeholders’ which roughly translated from the NGO-masturbation-ese means that they blame the companies that make the beer - remember folks, business is bad, profit is evil, it is always the fault of the company, never the individual employee.
For the time being we will leave aside their own argument that all women are indirect sex workers, the only difference is the type of currency being used; dinner, flowers, chocolates and champagne …
But you may all rest easy in your beds at night knowing that Care Int. is on the case, they are going to … wait for it … wait for it … they are going to redesign the dresses that they wear!
Yes, with longer skirts and higher necklines, drunken Khmer men will suddenly stop thinking about having sex with attractive women, especially when we stop calling them ‘beer girls’ and start calling them ‘empowered, non-gender specific, sales representatives entitled to wear long and high clothing only’ well, actually, that phrase alone is enough to cool my ardour.
So as my ardour is cooled what do I do?
What I do, in true free market fashion, is take my arse down to another beer garden, which has not been emancipated by this nonsense.
Their aim is a ‘zero tolerance’ policy on girls being harassed. But what is harassment? Is it just flirting and attention from somebody whom you do not find attractive ?
Okay, forget Cambodia for a moment, I have worked in London, New York, Paris, Milan and many other cities around the world, I have holidayed in even more. A common underlying thread to all of these is that every so often I will go to a bar, I will drink beer and if I am given half a chance, I will flirt and laugh with a pretty waitress or two. Quick, you had better throw me in jail, I feel a bout of this coming upon me for this weekend...
The trouble with this blanket of nonsense is that it draws attention away from honest to goodness cases of assault, which by the way, there are already laws in place against, it defocuses the general public from real problems and issues. It also serves to reinforce the concept that NGO’s are useless and self-serving.
What is that noise in the background? Is it a gecko laughing ??
Friday, June 17, 2005
School siege in Siam Reap
with thanks to BBC World News
DC
***
Boy dies as Cambodia siege ends
Police said the child was shot by the hostage takersA Canadian two-year-old boy has been killed at an international school in Cambodia where gunmen had taken dozens of pupils and teachers hostage.
Police ended the siege by storming the school in Siem Reap, near the tourist site of Angkor Wat, officials say.
They say they have arrested four captors who had demanded $1,000, arms and a vehicle to take them to Thailand.
The children, aged between two and six, who come from the UK, US and countries in Asia, are now free.
Siem Reap is popular with tourists for the ancient monument of Angkor Wat.
The town is relatively prosperous, compared to most of Cambodia - one of the poorest countries in South East Asia.
Kindergarten captives
Masked men armed with shotguns were said to have stormed the Siem Reap International School at about 0930 (0230 GMT).
We heard two gunshots from inside the school which obviously made us very concerned about the safety of our children
They seized two kindergarten classes, one of which was later released.
About 30 pupils and staff were held for several hours.
The children are reported to have come from Japan and several other Asian countries, Australia, the US and across Europe. One British child was among the hostages.
The Canadian child had been shot by captors before forces moved in, police said.
The attackers killed him when officials declined to meet all demands, the information minister told the Associated Press.
"They also threatened to kill the children one by one," Khieu Kanharith said.
But parents at the school said they saw armed officers enter the compound during the afternoon - and then they heard gunfire.
Eyewitnesses spoke of chaotic scenes as pupils emerged and were reunited with anxious parents.
Initial reports said there were six hostage-takers and two had died in the shoot-out. The motive for their attack is still unclear.
Diplomatic sources believe Thursday's incident may have been a robbery that had gone wrong.
Acts of terrorism are extremely unusual in Cambodia, the BBC's Guy Delauney reports from the capital, Phnom Penh
DC
***
Boy dies as Cambodia siege ends
Police said the child was shot by the hostage takersA Canadian two-year-old boy has been killed at an international school in Cambodia where gunmen had taken dozens of pupils and teachers hostage.
Police ended the siege by storming the school in Siem Reap, near the tourist site of Angkor Wat, officials say.
They say they have arrested four captors who had demanded $1,000, arms and a vehicle to take them to Thailand.
The children, aged between two and six, who come from the UK, US and countries in Asia, are now free.
Siem Reap is popular with tourists for the ancient monument of Angkor Wat.
The town is relatively prosperous, compared to most of Cambodia - one of the poorest countries in South East Asia.
Kindergarten captives
Masked men armed with shotguns were said to have stormed the Siem Reap International School at about 0930 (0230 GMT).
We heard two gunshots from inside the school which obviously made us very concerned about the safety of our children
They seized two kindergarten classes, one of which was later released.
About 30 pupils and staff were held for several hours.
The children are reported to have come from Japan and several other Asian countries, Australia, the US and across Europe. One British child was among the hostages.
The Canadian child had been shot by captors before forces moved in, police said.
The attackers killed him when officials declined to meet all demands, the information minister told the Associated Press.
"They also threatened to kill the children one by one," Khieu Kanharith said.
But parents at the school said they saw armed officers enter the compound during the afternoon - and then they heard gunfire.
Eyewitnesses spoke of chaotic scenes as pupils emerged and were reunited with anxious parents.
Initial reports said there were six hostage-takers and two had died in the shoot-out. The motive for their attack is still unclear.
Diplomatic sources believe Thursday's incident may have been a robbery that had gone wrong.
Acts of terrorism are extremely unusual in Cambodia, the BBC's Guy Delauney reports from the capital, Phnom Penh
The Kep and Sihanoukville Crab Industry.
Crab Peelers: The Kep and Sihanoukville Crab Industry.
A lot of ex-pats here often ask me about crabs and shrimp, probably because we like to eat them ourselves, but the industry here in Cambodia is much more than selling a few whole crabs to a bunch of barang.
Coastal crab peelers (and shrimp peelers) constitute an important group of working Khmers, containing some of the poorest workers in Cambodia
These workers are mostly made up of women and children (30% of labourers are under 15 and female) receiving low pay for hard labour under insecure terms and unhealthy conditions.
Crab peeling is a form of employment with which woman and children can earn money but it is inconsistent, it depends on crab resources. Khmer men prefer not to do this work; as traditionally they consider this work only fit for women and children.
Work in the crab and shrimp industry consists of:
- Peeling the fresh product in frozen factories; or,
- Peeling the boiled product [at home or in a factory] ; or,
- Peeling the boiled product and then processing into a number of dried products
A healthy woman, or teenage child, working a full 8 or 9 hour day can peel 10Kg of crab, producing 3Kg of meat and earning up to 5,000 riel for a days work; that is to say, US$1.25.
It is mostly the smaller or medium sized crabs that are used for processing. Larger crabs are usually exported whole to Thailand – or occasionally snapped up at the fishers landing port by rich locals – or we jolly ex-pats after a bargain.
However, over the past few years there have been some noticeable changes within the crab and shrimp catches, so noticeable, that even we ex-pat gourmands have noticed.
Although there is some guidance relating to the fishing and processing of crab and shrimp - for the purpose of managing fisheries resources in sustainable manner - because of the high market demand, and the fact that fisheries are poorly managed, smaller crabs and shrimp are being caught every day.
The fisheries department and the coastal provincial fisheries offices have issued prohibitions about small or juvenile crab catching, transporting, and selling, as well as also other aquatic animals, but they are not followed.
In reality this relates to the market demand. If crab collectors buy/collect only large, adult, crabs or their meat then the smaller crabs should not be caught.
However, nowadays small crabs [as in thumb-sized or 140+ crabs/Kg] are caught and peeled to produce processed Crabmeat for sale.
The fisheries department and provincial fisheries offices still do not have disciplinary measures to control Crabmeat crab production and retail.
Nowadays, at least 5 species of crab (local names: K'dam Nhe, K'dam Prolet, K'dam Kantray, K'dam Pkor Lorn and K'dam Ses) are collected and peeled to produce crabmeat for export and sale to Thailand by local collectors.
In the case where we have companies investing in the marine fisheries sector; such as fish processing, they have an obligation to accurately control the quality of products, thus helping to reduce the catching of immature crabs and shrimp, additionally, this can help the local economy by providing extra employment through these companies.
Clearly, the frozen factories in Sihanoukville and Kep have accurate control over the quality and quantity of their products and do not buy smaller crabs or shrimp, these companies also provide valuable employment in the area.
Some of the larger existing companies’ collect crabmeat in Cambodia and then transport the catch to Thailand for processing/stuffing/packaging before exporting it to the European market, where it is labelled ‘Product of Thailand’
If Cambodian companies collected and packaged Crabmeat in Cambodia and where then able to export it to Europe et cetera, then this would not only increase Cambodian export revenues, but would also create additional employment along the coastal areas.
Crabmeat (Flower crab) from Cambodia is of the highest quality, is tasty and aromatic, if it is packaged in Cambodia and labelled as a Cambodian product then this will create more interest among foreign consumers and has the potential to gain additional benefits for Cambodia.
Unfortunately, the many agencies pouring money into this Country are not interested in, or concerned with, or mandated to, helping the Country develop a stable trade base or increasing local trade and industry, which are the only true ways of helping this Country become self-sustaining in future years.
A lot of ex-pats here often ask me about crabs and shrimp, probably because we like to eat them ourselves, but the industry here in Cambodia is much more than selling a few whole crabs to a bunch of barang.
Coastal crab peelers (and shrimp peelers) constitute an important group of working Khmers, containing some of the poorest workers in Cambodia
These workers are mostly made up of women and children (30% of labourers are under 15 and female) receiving low pay for hard labour under insecure terms and unhealthy conditions.
Crab peeling is a form of employment with which woman and children can earn money but it is inconsistent, it depends on crab resources. Khmer men prefer not to do this work; as traditionally they consider this work only fit for women and children.
Work in the crab and shrimp industry consists of:
- Peeling the fresh product in frozen factories; or,
- Peeling the boiled product [at home or in a factory] ; or,
- Peeling the boiled product and then processing into a number of dried products
A healthy woman, or teenage child, working a full 8 or 9 hour day can peel 10Kg of crab, producing 3Kg of meat and earning up to 5,000 riel for a days work; that is to say, US$1.25.
It is mostly the smaller or medium sized crabs that are used for processing. Larger crabs are usually exported whole to Thailand – or occasionally snapped up at the fishers landing port by rich locals – or we jolly ex-pats after a bargain.
However, over the past few years there have been some noticeable changes within the crab and shrimp catches, so noticeable, that even we ex-pat gourmands have noticed.
Although there is some guidance relating to the fishing and processing of crab and shrimp - for the purpose of managing fisheries resources in sustainable manner - because of the high market demand, and the fact that fisheries are poorly managed, smaller crabs and shrimp are being caught every day.
The fisheries department and the coastal provincial fisheries offices have issued prohibitions about small or juvenile crab catching, transporting, and selling, as well as also other aquatic animals, but they are not followed.
In reality this relates to the market demand. If crab collectors buy/collect only large, adult, crabs or their meat then the smaller crabs should not be caught.
However, nowadays small crabs [as in thumb-sized or 140+ crabs/Kg] are caught and peeled to produce processed Crabmeat for sale.
The fisheries department and provincial fisheries offices still do not have disciplinary measures to control Crabmeat crab production and retail.
Nowadays, at least 5 species of crab (local names: K'dam Nhe, K'dam Prolet, K'dam Kantray, K'dam Pkor Lorn and K'dam Ses) are collected and peeled to produce crabmeat for export and sale to Thailand by local collectors.
In the case where we have companies investing in the marine fisheries sector; such as fish processing, they have an obligation to accurately control the quality of products, thus helping to reduce the catching of immature crabs and shrimp, additionally, this can help the local economy by providing extra employment through these companies.
Clearly, the frozen factories in Sihanoukville and Kep have accurate control over the quality and quantity of their products and do not buy smaller crabs or shrimp, these companies also provide valuable employment in the area.
Some of the larger existing companies’ collect crabmeat in Cambodia and then transport the catch to Thailand for processing/stuffing/packaging before exporting it to the European market, where it is labelled ‘Product of Thailand’
If Cambodian companies collected and packaged Crabmeat in Cambodia and where then able to export it to Europe et cetera, then this would not only increase Cambodian export revenues, but would also create additional employment along the coastal areas.
Crabmeat (Flower crab) from Cambodia is of the highest quality, is tasty and aromatic, if it is packaged in Cambodia and labelled as a Cambodian product then this will create more interest among foreign consumers and has the potential to gain additional benefits for Cambodia.
Unfortunately, the many agencies pouring money into this Country are not interested in, or concerned with, or mandated to, helping the Country develop a stable trade base or increasing local trade and industry, which are the only true ways of helping this Country become self-sustaining in future years.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
One Night in Phnom Penh
One Night in Phnom Penh
A smiling middle aged man with just a touch of paunch is walking out as we are nearing the entrance. He is joking with the man at a small structure which looks like a s ticket booth. The jovial man is handed a long silver machine pistol from the ticket booth, takes a few steps away from the booth, lines his sights, and fires three shots into the night sky. “Yup, still works,” he chuckles to the weapons attendant.
My host, Kimtek, is non-plussed as he leads me towards the entrance. In an unusual twist, I, a foreigner, am frisked for weapons while my Khmer companion is waved through, despite the fact that (as I found out last week) he is carrying a handgun. We are walking down a long series of wide wooden steps towards a huge barge moored at the side of the river. A flashing light display that could hold its head up high in Las Vegas announces in English letters that we are approaching the Chaktamok Floating Dancing Restaurant.
A look up and down the river reveals three other barges similarly huge and similarly draped in lights. There are working girls leaning and sitting on the railing of the staircase down to the riverbank, as well as on the deck of the boat. They are all Khmers less than 25 years old and maybe 3/4 are teenagers. Most are quite stunning. They are smartly dressed, sexy but not necessarily slutty, and go for $20 to $40 for a night depending on the beauty of the girl and the wealth of the customer. Given that the city’s cheaper brothels offer services for $2, these sums are quite a premium for the class of a nightclub girl.
We walk down the stairs, up the gangplank, then into the dance hall. In contrast to the visible-from-space light display outside, the dance hall is completely dark. With my eyes adjusted to the dimness after a few seconds, I can make out a huge room, about half the size of a football field, crowded with tables and customers. The dance floor is small by comparison; an upper middle class living room - plus half again that size for the band’s raised platform stage. It’s pitch dark because we arrived during a slow dance. This is the Khmer appropriation of ‘slow dance’ and is exactly what you did at junior school birthday parties.
One of the most wonderful aspects of many Khmer love songs is that in between two of the verses, where we might put a guitar solo, the singer will literally sob into the microphone as the music plays in the background:
“. . .oh baby {sniff}, when you left me, I {choked sob} I thought I would die {sniff}. I will {sob, sniff} I will always love you, and {sob} never forget you. . .”
. . .and then on to the next verse.
Admittedly, it is corny and over the top, but it works.
My appreciation of the music is interrupted by a waiter shining a small flashlight who leads UK to our table. Immediately, a host of ‘marketing representatives’ from different beer companies swarm to the table, inviting UK to order their particular brand of beer. These women are pretty and are employed by the beer companies to promote their brands in nightclubs and restaurants.
Each company has its own uniform, from Tiger Beer’s modern dark blue jumper and yellow vest, to Angkor Beer’s classic Khmer dress which is just tight enough to be sexy.
After we order our beers, Kimtek asks if we should order a girl as well. This can be arranged through a nightclub employee, or can be done independently. Either way, as soon as a nightclub girl sits at your table, you are liable for what is straightforwardly called a “girl charge”. This is between $4 to $6 at most of the nightclubs and appears right on your bill. I still remember my surprise on first seeing such a bill. Translated from the Khmer, it read:
A smiling middle aged man with just a touch of paunch is walking out as we are nearing the entrance. He is joking with the man at a small structure which looks like a s ticket booth. The jovial man is handed a long silver machine pistol from the ticket booth, takes a few steps away from the booth, lines his sights, and fires three shots into the night sky. “Yup, still works,” he chuckles to the weapons attendant.
My host, Kimtek, is non-plussed as he leads me towards the entrance. In an unusual twist, I, a foreigner, am frisked for weapons while my Khmer companion is waved through, despite the fact that (as I found out last week) he is carrying a handgun. We are walking down a long series of wide wooden steps towards a huge barge moored at the side of the river. A flashing light display that could hold its head up high in Las Vegas announces in English letters that we are approaching the Chaktamok Floating Dancing Restaurant.
A look up and down the river reveals three other barges similarly huge and similarly draped in lights. There are working girls leaning and sitting on the railing of the staircase down to the riverbank, as well as on the deck of the boat. They are all Khmers less than 25 years old and maybe 3/4 are teenagers. Most are quite stunning. They are smartly dressed, sexy but not necessarily slutty, and go for $20 to $40 for a night depending on the beauty of the girl and the wealth of the customer. Given that the city’s cheaper brothels offer services for $2, these sums are quite a premium for the class of a nightclub girl.
We walk down the stairs, up the gangplank, then into the dance hall. In contrast to the visible-from-space light display outside, the dance hall is completely dark. With my eyes adjusted to the dimness after a few seconds, I can make out a huge room, about half the size of a football field, crowded with tables and customers. The dance floor is small by comparison; an upper middle class living room - plus half again that size for the band’s raised platform stage. It’s pitch dark because we arrived during a slow dance. This is the Khmer appropriation of ‘slow dance’ and is exactly what you did at junior school birthday parties.
One of the most wonderful aspects of many Khmer love songs is that in between two of the verses, where we might put a guitar solo, the singer will literally sob into the microphone as the music plays in the background:
“. . .oh baby {sniff}, when you left me, I {choked sob} I thought I would die {sniff}. I will {sob, sniff} I will always love you, and {sob} never forget you. . .”
. . .and then on to the next verse.
Admittedly, it is corny and over the top, but it works.
My appreciation of the music is interrupted by a waiter shining a small flashlight who leads UK to our table. Immediately, a host of ‘marketing representatives’ from different beer companies swarm to the table, inviting UK to order their particular brand of beer. These women are pretty and are employed by the beer companies to promote their brands in nightclubs and restaurants.
Each company has its own uniform, from Tiger Beer’s modern dark blue jumper and yellow vest, to Angkor Beer’s classic Khmer dress which is just tight enough to be sexy.
After we order our beers, Kimtek asks if we should order a girl as well. This can be arranged through a nightclub employee, or can be done independently. Either way, as soon as a nightclub girl sits at your table, you are liable for what is straightforwardly called a “girl charge”. This is between $4 to $6 at most of the nightclubs and appears right on your bill. I still remember my surprise on first seeing such a bill. Translated from the Khmer, it read:
- Beer $4
- Juice $2
- Girl $4
This money goes to the house with the girl getting a percentage, and covers only sitting with you for a drink. I am told that any further activity is negotiated independently between the two parties.
The question of a table companion is deferred because the dance floor suddenly lights up for the rom wong.
The music, unlike anything we commonly hear in the UK, is perhaps best described as Islamic or Jewish prayer chants mixed with calypso music.
Dancing to it is as beautiful as it is simple. The foot movement is basically slow, small steps around a circle. The real action is in the hands. You move your hands up and down, curling and uncurling your fingers, and turning your hands inward and outwards, rotating them around your wrists. One can think of it as a slow belly dance with one’s hands. Depending on the song, this can be done very relatively slowly or quickly, but always incredibly gracefully.
One song has a relatively quick tempo and a heavy beat, and lasts quite a while. With the disco lights, the music, and the sight of all of these men (at least a few of whom had to check their grenades or pistols at the door) and women (who when they dance define the meaning of grace) moving around slowly in a circle as they wave and rotate their hands, I have but two sips of beer in me, but I feel thoroughly intoxicated.
All too soon, the music cycle rotates to disco, and we sit down. It’s about 10-15 minutes each of slow, ram wong, and disco. To while the time in between rom wongs, Kimtek is chatting up a beer girl, and he calls for a nightclub girl to sit and keep me company. Sovanna, as she is named, is of course young and beautiful, and she attempts to speak Khmer clearly so that I can follow along.
An hour passes pleasantly; beer is consumed, the rom wong is danced, Sovanna teaches me some Thai she picked up in her native province in the Northwest, and Kimtek and the beer girl are laughing away. At 11:00, Kimtek calls for the check, apologises to Sovanna for leaving her unemployed for the rest of the evening, but softens the blow with a nice tip.
We head out back up the stairs towards Kimtek’s car. Kimtek is an army officer, and his nominal salary is just over $63 per month. His $25,000 Toyota is either the result of extremely careful saving of his salary for the past 26 years, or is a consequence of corruption in the Royal Cambodian Armed Forces. I know that he is stationed in an area of the country where there is illegal logging, but I inquire no further than that.
We wait in his car for a minute and the beer girl he was talking to appears as well. At $40 a month, beer girls’ salaries are comparable to those of army officers. Occasional tips make it conceivable to subsist with the job, but hardly live comfortably. Many live with their families and so have no expenses to speak of.
Others supporting themselves end up “adopted” by someone like Kimtek. I soon find out that this has been the case with Kimtek and Mom, as I am introduced to her, for the past couple of months. The “o” in Mom’s name is pronounced somewhere between “mom” and “moan”.
We are nearing my house, and I prepare to get dropped off. These Khmers are certainly a hospitable bunch. Last week when Kimtek and I went out, we retired to Kimtek’s house for some drinks after the nightclub closed. At about 1:00 AM, I told him I should be going home. Mentioning the late hour, he pulled out a pistol from his waistband and asked if I would like to borrow it for the ride home. Tonight, instead of offering me his pistol, he offers me his mistress.
As I understood it, he was to lend me his pistol, but the mistress; he wants to transfer to me outright. “She can be your girlfriend and wash your clothes and clean your room and cook for you. All you have to do is keep her fed and housed,” he says, as if explaining the obvious.
Mom, meanwhile, begins crying quietly in the back seat - I guess this is as much a surprise to her as it is to me.
Although this is certainly the most exceptional gift anyone has ever offered to me, I find that I am not Khmer enough to accept it. I explain that although Mom is quite lovely, I have a girlfriend. In try not to disappoint this man who is so eager to find a friend for his mistress and mistress for his friend. Although he is confused by my strange reaction, Kimtek seems satisfied. Mom, still sniffling, manages a brave smile. As I notice once again how pretty she is, I realise that I should get out of the car before I change my mind.
“I’ll see you tomorrow at noon,” Kimtek promises. I thank him, nod good-bye to Mom, and step out of the car. I shut the door firmly, as if confirming my decision not to take up Kimtek’s offer of a lover as well as a maid. Standing at the gate outside my yard, I watch as the car disappears into the darkness of Phnom Penh.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Khmer Folk Tales
Why oxen do not have upper front teeth and the tiger has black stripes
Once upon a time, there was a tiger that left the forest to look for food. At the edge of the forest, he was surprised to see a farmer whipping his oxen while ploughing the fields.
This made the tiger curious, so he waited and watched. When the farmer released his oxen to gaze on grass during his lunch break, the tiger took the opportunity to approach them and asked:
“Brother Oxen, I am curious why you let that man beat you while you work very hard for him. Why don’t you kick him and run away and be free like me?”
“Oh no, Brother Tiger,” responded the oxen, “the human being has his intelligence, which he can use to make us do what he wants.”
“What is this ‘intelligence’?” asked the tiger.
“We cannot explain. You have to ask him yourself,” replied the oxen.
The tiger, considering himself the most powerful animal on earth, impatiently went to the man and arrogantly ordered: “Farmer, show me your intelligence; otherwise, I will bite your head off.”
The farmer calmly responded, “Oh Brother Tiger, in coming to work in the field, I left my intelligence at home.”
“Go and get it then,” demanded the tiger.
“No I won’t, because you will eat my oxen,” said the farmer.
“No, I will not,” the tiger assured him.
But the farmer maintained, “I don’t believe you.” “What do you want me to do to make you trust me?” asked the tiger.
The farmer replied, “I have to tie you up.”
The tiger agreed saying, “Okay, do it and go fast to get me your intelligence.”
The farmer tied the tiger as tightly as he could. Instead of going home, however, he collected dead leaves and branches, piled them up on the tiger and burned them.
The tiger screamed in pain. The oxen laughed and laughed, pointing to the tiger with their front legs and exclaimed: “We warned you, he has his intelligence!”
They laughed until they fell down and hit the ground with their mouths and broke all their upper front teeth, which have never grew back.
The tiger screamed until the rope burned up and broke. He then escaped back into the forest.
The burning parts gave him black stripes forever
Once upon a time, there was a tiger that left the forest to look for food. At the edge of the forest, he was surprised to see a farmer whipping his oxen while ploughing the fields.
This made the tiger curious, so he waited and watched. When the farmer released his oxen to gaze on grass during his lunch break, the tiger took the opportunity to approach them and asked:
“Brother Oxen, I am curious why you let that man beat you while you work very hard for him. Why don’t you kick him and run away and be free like me?”
“Oh no, Brother Tiger,” responded the oxen, “the human being has his intelligence, which he can use to make us do what he wants.”
“What is this ‘intelligence’?” asked the tiger.
“We cannot explain. You have to ask him yourself,” replied the oxen.
The tiger, considering himself the most powerful animal on earth, impatiently went to the man and arrogantly ordered: “Farmer, show me your intelligence; otherwise, I will bite your head off.”
The farmer calmly responded, “Oh Brother Tiger, in coming to work in the field, I left my intelligence at home.”
“Go and get it then,” demanded the tiger.
“No I won’t, because you will eat my oxen,” said the farmer.
“No, I will not,” the tiger assured him.
But the farmer maintained, “I don’t believe you.” “What do you want me to do to make you trust me?” asked the tiger.
The farmer replied, “I have to tie you up.”
The tiger agreed saying, “Okay, do it and go fast to get me your intelligence.”
The farmer tied the tiger as tightly as he could. Instead of going home, however, he collected dead leaves and branches, piled them up on the tiger and burned them.
The tiger screamed in pain. The oxen laughed and laughed, pointing to the tiger with their front legs and exclaimed: “We warned you, he has his intelligence!”
They laughed until they fell down and hit the ground with their mouths and broke all their upper front teeth, which have never grew back.
The tiger screamed until the rope burned up and broke. He then escaped back into the forest.
The burning parts gave him black stripes forever
Monday, June 13, 2005
Longing for home yet ???
A fellow English ex-pat, recently arrived here in Phnom Penh, asked me last night what I missed most about living in England.
Having given the question about ten seconds thought, I quickly banged out the following list, also including a few of the things that I do not miss.
What I Miss:
Having given the question about ten seconds thought, I quickly banged out the following list, also including a few of the things that I do not miss.
What I Miss:
- Family and Friends
- The overall cleanliness of everything.
- Knowing I can cross a street without placing my life in jeopardy.
- Burger Kings double bacon cheese burger – with large fries
- The Clock Restaurant in Hanwell; The Swan in Mountsorrel
New Years Eve - BBC, ITV, Channel 4, the depth and variety of British TV.
- Spending hours perusing my favourite new and used book stores.
- The variety of great ethnic food – Indian, Thai, Indian, Mexican, Indian, French, Italian, Chinese, Indian, et cetera
What I Do Not Miss:
- The lack of free time.
- The high cost of everything.
- Seeing half of your income eaten up by a combination of; Income tax, mortgage payments, transport to work costs, et cetera.
- Paying more than US$2 for a new DVD
- The thought that you can probably never truly quit working and retire.
- Morons hanging out at Costa Coffee with laptop computers – esp. on Maddox St, London, W1… yes, you know who you are !
- The Congestion Charge – and other idiot regulations
I am sure that if I put some effort into it, I could come up with a much more comprehensive list; maybe later …
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Top business gripe in Cambodia
Top business gripe in Cambodia
Bribes - "unofficial payments" in polite-speak - and when have I ever been polite?
Bribes forced on business ranked as the top complaint by industry leaders in a World Bank report on Cambodia's investment climate released last month.
The report, Cambodia Seizing the Global Opportunity, found "unofficial payments" as a share of total business revenue were twice as high as in Bangladesh and by far the highest among countries benchmarked in the report.
Bangladesh is ranked as the most corrupt of all the countries assessed annually by the organisation Transparency International - which does not yet assess Cambodia.
Other gripes included minimum capital requirements and the costs of incorporating a business, which are among the highest in the world in terms of relative income levels.
It noted that Thailand, Nepal, Uganda and Vietnam have no minimal capital requirements for establishing a business.
Adding to the burden were red tape and a lack of institutions capable of absorbing risk, which has resulted in rural Cambodian firms holding the world's highest inventory stocks when measured against sales.
Clearing an import shipment could require the completion of 45 separate documents.
As a consequence of these impediments, labour productivity of Cambodian firms surveyed is 62 percent below China and 10 percent below Bangladesh.
"Today's report notes that as a consequence of these perceptions, foreign direct investment has fallen consistently since 1999."
Commerce minister Cham Prasidh said the report had exposed the problems, constraints and challenges of business operating in Cambodia.
"Now that we know the symptoms and the disease, we know what is needed is the political will to take the necessary actions and implement the reform program to help business survive, increase competitiveness, and prosper," he said.
Economic and Finance Minister Keat Chhon vowed to implement reforms aimed at improving Cambodia's investment climate and delivering a public and financial management system of international standards by 2015.
He said this would be achieved through a raft of policies designed to bolster public and financial management announced by Prime Minister Hun Sen at his first cabinet meeting for the new government on July 16.
"The government agrees that we must do more to improve the investment climate by tackling the high cost of business, bureaucratic red tape and corruption," he said. "With respect to unofficial costs we need to work on both fronts, to reduce the costs of business and to increase tax revenue."
Bribes - "unofficial payments" in polite-speak - and when have I ever been polite?
Bribes forced on business ranked as the top complaint by industry leaders in a World Bank report on Cambodia's investment climate released last month.
The report, Cambodia Seizing the Global Opportunity, found "unofficial payments" as a share of total business revenue were twice as high as in Bangladesh and by far the highest among countries benchmarked in the report.
Bangladesh is ranked as the most corrupt of all the countries assessed annually by the organisation Transparency International - which does not yet assess Cambodia.
Other gripes included minimum capital requirements and the costs of incorporating a business, which are among the highest in the world in terms of relative income levels.
It noted that Thailand, Nepal, Uganda and Vietnam have no minimal capital requirements for establishing a business.
Adding to the burden were red tape and a lack of institutions capable of absorbing risk, which has resulted in rural Cambodian firms holding the world's highest inventory stocks when measured against sales.
Clearing an import shipment could require the completion of 45 separate documents.
As a consequence of these impediments, labour productivity of Cambodian firms surveyed is 62 percent below China and 10 percent below Bangladesh.
"Today's report notes that as a consequence of these perceptions, foreign direct investment has fallen consistently since 1999."
Commerce minister Cham Prasidh said the report had exposed the problems, constraints and challenges of business operating in Cambodia.
"Now that we know the symptoms and the disease, we know what is needed is the political will to take the necessary actions and implement the reform program to help business survive, increase competitiveness, and prosper," he said.
Economic and Finance Minister Keat Chhon vowed to implement reforms aimed at improving Cambodia's investment climate and delivering a public and financial management system of international standards by 2015.
He said this would be achieved through a raft of policies designed to bolster public and financial management announced by Prime Minister Hun Sen at his first cabinet meeting for the new government on July 16.
"The government agrees that we must do more to improve the investment climate by tackling the high cost of business, bureaucratic red tape and corruption," he said. "With respect to unofficial costs we need to work on both fronts, to reduce the costs of business and to increase tax revenue."
Monday, May 30, 2005
Khmer Police, Traffic Offences, Boxing and Beer
Khmer Police, Traffic Offences, Boxing and Beer
It is a fairly normal Sunday evening at home, normal but for one small, highly unusual, difference.
I am roaming the corridors of the flat in a mood that can only be described as ‘seriously and dangerously peevish’
It has been two days since my motorbike was stolen and I have spent most of the last 48 hours dealing with corrupt police officials, greasing palms and hinting at further payments if the bike is returned.
Not having had much joy with the forces of law and order [ha, ha] I decide to undertake my own investigation.
I quiz my neighbours, the motodops opposite, the security guards at the hotel next door, still, no joy.
So, carrying on from this I spend most of the weekend visiting dozens and dozens of bike shops, leaving them descriptions of the bike and my business card, dropping hints about reward money.
All in all, a major pain in the arse and not the way I wanted to be spending my weekend, especially in 40C plus heat.
Coupled with this, Heng is starting to add to my bad mood, she is complaining that it is my fault the bike was stolen, it is almost as if she thinks I arranged for the bike to be stolen just so that I could tell her she would have to wait for the new oven until I get a new bike.
So having had enough ‘Khmer Culture’ for the week, I tell her that I am going out for the night and that she should not expect me home anytime soon.
An hour later I am sitting in my third bar, contemplating taking the borrowed moto I was riding home and getting a motodop for the rest of the night, so I can carry on drinking, yes that is a good idea.
Leaving the bar I hang a left towards Norodom Boulevard, oops, it is a one-way street, but I am only going one block and am halfway down it before I realise, mmm should be okay…
Just as I reach the end, half a dozen Khmer police officers jump out from behind a tree and surround me – damn, busted.
As I am shuffled off to the side of the road the first police officer starts the usual dance for cash;
‘It is one-way, why you not see sign [he means the one small, unlit, no entry sign half hidden behind a tree…] you drive no good, how much you earn each month?’
So I in turn reply with the usual verbal dance steps, he then carries on to the next phase – ‘where you from, how long you stay in Cambodia, where you work, et cetera’
After about five minutes we had just gotten to the ‘can you buy me a packet of cigarettes’ part of the conversation, the part at which one usually ends up handing over 2,000r and heading off on ones way.
When suddenly, one of the other officers comes over – things were obviously not progressing fast enough for him.
With him standing about 8 inches away from me he shouts [and spits a little] directly into my face
Cop2 ‘Why you cause trouble? Why you cause trouble?’
DC ‘what?!?
Cop2 ‘you drive wrong, you not see sign, that is RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT’
DC - making a show of wiping my face with a tissue and then discarding it at his feet – I say ‘I talk to him [Cop1] you can go.’
Cop2 ‘you do wrong, now we impound your bike, you not see again, we take it from you’
DC ‘ah, no I do not think so, anyway, the bike belongs to the Minister of Fish, it is not mine, it belongs to [name minister] ’
Cop2 ‘I not believe you, you lie, why you ride his bike, why you have his bike? You lie, YOU LIE !’
At this point he is again only inches away from my nose, I am sprayed in spittle and a cloud of his bad breath. I also notice that his eyes are somewhat glassy and unfocused, oh dear.
DC ‘he lent me his bike because the police here are too FUCKING LAZY to find my bike that was stolen last week, all you police want is money from people, you are all corrupt’
Okay, maybe I was venting spleen and displacing some of my frustration at recent events towards him, but damn it, I have my limits. Of course, had I been thinking straight, I would have realised that any Khmer comfortable enough to have used the phrase ‘reckless endangerment’ spoke good enough English to follow my above rant.
Cop2 ‘[screams something I could not follow in Khmer]
DC ‘WHAT did you say ?
This was the point where things really went beyond everyone’s control. At this point both of Cop2’s arms piston out and his palms slap full force into my chest.
DC ‘you f*$< ing cv^’
Cop2 then repeats the move, attempting to shove me over the back of the bike, so I stand up.
Cop2 then grabs the back collar of my shirt and tries to drag me of the bike sideways, again, screaming in Khmer too fast for me to follow.
As I am half off the bike, with one foot now on the pavement I swing my other leg over the bike, as my momentum increases, a red mist fills my vision, Cop2 has just smacked me in the ear.
Two seconds later, the red vale lifts from my vision and I realise that there is a throbbing pain between my second and third knuckles on my right hand. As my vision comes back into focus, I see Cop2 laying in the pavement, flat on his back, with blood streaming from his freshly broken nose.
Time stood still, I stared at him for what felt like an hour, but in reality must have been only 4 or 5 seconds.
My only thoughts at this time were; ‘that will teach you, you prick’ and ‘oh my god, I am going to die on this street corner, right here, right now’
The next thing that I knew, another Khmer police officer was besides me, pushing me towards my bike saying ‘go, go, go, go, go.’ Swiftly mounting my bike I see the gold braids on this guys shoulder, he is the boss of this little gang of highway robbers, he obviously wants nothing more than for this to all disappear quickly.
Swiftly riding two blocks up, one right, one left, two right and pulling to a stop outside a bar I quickly dismount and rush inside to the safety with numbers and witnesses - not too mention a cold beer or three.
I quickly reported in with several friends, making sure that several people knew what had happened and where, just in case anything further came of it all
So far, all has been well.
It is a fairly normal Sunday evening at home, normal but for one small, highly unusual, difference.
I am roaming the corridors of the flat in a mood that can only be described as ‘seriously and dangerously peevish’
It has been two days since my motorbike was stolen and I have spent most of the last 48 hours dealing with corrupt police officials, greasing palms and hinting at further payments if the bike is returned.
Not having had much joy with the forces of law and order [ha, ha] I decide to undertake my own investigation.
I quiz my neighbours, the motodops opposite, the security guards at the hotel next door, still, no joy.
So, carrying on from this I spend most of the weekend visiting dozens and dozens of bike shops, leaving them descriptions of the bike and my business card, dropping hints about reward money.
All in all, a major pain in the arse and not the way I wanted to be spending my weekend, especially in 40C plus heat.
Coupled with this, Heng is starting to add to my bad mood, she is complaining that it is my fault the bike was stolen, it is almost as if she thinks I arranged for the bike to be stolen just so that I could tell her she would have to wait for the new oven until I get a new bike.
So having had enough ‘Khmer Culture’ for the week, I tell her that I am going out for the night and that she should not expect me home anytime soon.
An hour later I am sitting in my third bar, contemplating taking the borrowed moto I was riding home and getting a motodop for the rest of the night, so I can carry on drinking, yes that is a good idea.
Leaving the bar I hang a left towards Norodom Boulevard, oops, it is a one-way street, but I am only going one block and am halfway down it before I realise, mmm should be okay…
Just as I reach the end, half a dozen Khmer police officers jump out from behind a tree and surround me – damn, busted.
As I am shuffled off to the side of the road the first police officer starts the usual dance for cash;
‘It is one-way, why you not see sign [he means the one small, unlit, no entry sign half hidden behind a tree…] you drive no good, how much you earn each month?’
So I in turn reply with the usual verbal dance steps, he then carries on to the next phase – ‘where you from, how long you stay in Cambodia, where you work, et cetera’
After about five minutes we had just gotten to the ‘can you buy me a packet of cigarettes’ part of the conversation, the part at which one usually ends up handing over 2,000r and heading off on ones way.
When suddenly, one of the other officers comes over – things were obviously not progressing fast enough for him.
With him standing about 8 inches away from me he shouts [and spits a little] directly into my face
Cop2 ‘Why you cause trouble? Why you cause trouble?’
DC ‘what?!?
Cop2 ‘you drive wrong, you not see sign, that is RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT’
DC - making a show of wiping my face with a tissue and then discarding it at his feet – I say ‘I talk to him [Cop1] you can go.’
Cop2 ‘you do wrong, now we impound your bike, you not see again, we take it from you’
DC ‘ah, no I do not think so, anyway, the bike belongs to the Minister of Fish, it is not mine, it belongs to [name minister] ’
Cop2 ‘I not believe you, you lie, why you ride his bike, why you have his bike? You lie, YOU LIE !’
At this point he is again only inches away from my nose, I am sprayed in spittle and a cloud of his bad breath. I also notice that his eyes are somewhat glassy and unfocused, oh dear.
DC ‘he lent me his bike because the police here are too FUCKING LAZY to find my bike that was stolen last week, all you police want is money from people, you are all corrupt’
Okay, maybe I was venting spleen and displacing some of my frustration at recent events towards him, but damn it, I have my limits. Of course, had I been thinking straight, I would have realised that any Khmer comfortable enough to have used the phrase ‘reckless endangerment’ spoke good enough English to follow my above rant.
Cop2 ‘[screams something I could not follow in Khmer]
DC ‘WHAT did you say ?
This was the point where things really went beyond everyone’s control. At this point both of Cop2’s arms piston out and his palms slap full force into my chest.
DC ‘you f*$< ing cv^’
Cop2 then repeats the move, attempting to shove me over the back of the bike, so I stand up.
Cop2 then grabs the back collar of my shirt and tries to drag me of the bike sideways, again, screaming in Khmer too fast for me to follow.
As I am half off the bike, with one foot now on the pavement I swing my other leg over the bike, as my momentum increases, a red mist fills my vision, Cop2 has just smacked me in the ear.
Two seconds later, the red vale lifts from my vision and I realise that there is a throbbing pain between my second and third knuckles on my right hand. As my vision comes back into focus, I see Cop2 laying in the pavement, flat on his back, with blood streaming from his freshly broken nose.
Time stood still, I stared at him for what felt like an hour, but in reality must have been only 4 or 5 seconds.
My only thoughts at this time were; ‘that will teach you, you prick’ and ‘oh my god, I am going to die on this street corner, right here, right now’
The next thing that I knew, another Khmer police officer was besides me, pushing me towards my bike saying ‘go, go, go, go, go.’ Swiftly mounting my bike I see the gold braids on this guys shoulder, he is the boss of this little gang of highway robbers, he obviously wants nothing more than for this to all disappear quickly.
Swiftly riding two blocks up, one right, one left, two right and pulling to a stop outside a bar I quickly dismount and rush inside to the safety with numbers and witnesses - not too mention a cold beer or three.
I quickly reported in with several friends, making sure that several people knew what had happened and where, just in case anything further came of it all
So far, all has been well.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
‘Life is cheap’ is not just a cliché from old westerns
Thursday
Leaving home after lunch today to head back to the office, I notice a large crowd of maybe 100 students standing in the middle of the road outside the Khmer school just up from my flat.
Weaving my way through them, along with a few other motos, I manage to get past into the main road.
In the thick of it all, I now see several police officers taping off a section of pavement. There on the pavement, next to a pink concrete bench, was the body of a young man; possibly late teens, or early twenties.
The pool of not yet congealed blood was covering over two feet of pavement.
The bullet hole in the centre of his chest looked pitch black against the white of his school shirt; contrasting starkly with the red of the blood soaked pavement.
My exit route temporarily blocked, by gawpers and shocked schoolmates, I ask the police officer standing next to me what happened.
"he no want thief take moto, thief shoot him"
All for a second-hand Suzuki Viva.
17:00 - evening
Driving home from the office I again pass the crime scene. However, now, a mere 3 hours later, the police tape has gone, the body has gone, the blood has gone.
It could almost have been like it never happened.
Friday
Driving out of the flat this morning on the way to work I pass the scene of yesterday’s incident, 25 yards from my home.
This morning a bowl of bananas has been left on the spot, along with some incense sticks. [Traditional Buddhist thing...]
There are also several dozen small pieces of paper – 4x6 – tucked under the bowl or just laying on the pavement, each piece has something written in Khmer script on it, each in a different hand.
A few teenage students are hanging around, not talking and just looking.
Leaving home after lunch today to head back to the office, I notice a large crowd of maybe 100 students standing in the middle of the road outside the Khmer school just up from my flat.
Weaving my way through them, along with a few other motos, I manage to get past into the main road.
In the thick of it all, I now see several police officers taping off a section of pavement. There on the pavement, next to a pink concrete bench, was the body of a young man; possibly late teens, or early twenties.
The pool of not yet congealed blood was covering over two feet of pavement.
The bullet hole in the centre of his chest looked pitch black against the white of his school shirt; contrasting starkly with the red of the blood soaked pavement.
My exit route temporarily blocked, by gawpers and shocked schoolmates, I ask the police officer standing next to me what happened.
"he no want thief take moto, thief shoot him"
All for a second-hand Suzuki Viva.
17:00 - evening
Driving home from the office I again pass the crime scene. However, now, a mere 3 hours later, the police tape has gone, the body has gone, the blood has gone.
It could almost have been like it never happened.
Friday
Driving out of the flat this morning on the way to work I pass the scene of yesterday’s incident, 25 yards from my home.
This morning a bowl of bananas has been left on the spot, along with some incense sticks. [Traditional Buddhist thing...]
There are also several dozen small pieces of paper – 4x6 – tucked under the bowl or just laying on the pavement, each piece has something written in Khmer script on it, each in a different hand.
A few teenage students are hanging around, not talking and just looking.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
What the What, What?
Lounging in my usual breakfast restaurant this morning on the corner of the street, I sip my iced coffee and peer aimlessly out into the traffic that is Mao Tse Toung Boulevard.
Pottering down the road was a shiny new silver~grey tuk-tuk. One of the all inclusive designs, a purpose built vehicle, similar to a golf buggy, rather than the more usual hybrid you see here of moto and chariot.
Shiny and new it glistened as it made its way past me.
It was around then that I noticed the driver.
A thirty-something white woman, with red hair and a scowl on her face.
My Khmer breakfast companions giggled and pointed, I just ordered another coffee and closed my eyes.
It was true; the world had gone mad over the weekend
Pottering down the road was a shiny new silver~grey tuk-tuk. One of the all inclusive designs, a purpose built vehicle, similar to a golf buggy, rather than the more usual hybrid you see here of moto and chariot.
Shiny and new it glistened as it made its way past me.
It was around then that I noticed the driver.
A thirty-something white woman, with red hair and a scowl on her face.
My Khmer breakfast companions giggled and pointed, I just ordered another coffee and closed my eyes.
It was true; the world had gone mad over the weekend
Super Job Titles
Cambodia has one of the largest per capita governments of any country in the world, which is no small feat for a nation of such limited financial resources. I have come to realise that Cambodia also has the distinction of bestowing some of the world's most impressive job titles on its public servants.
As I was reading an article in The Cambodia Daily regarding the relatively poor attendance at last year's Water Festival in Phnom Penh, I came across this quote:
"Chea Sokhom, deputy secretary-general of the Secretariat General for the Permanent Organizing Commission for National and International Ceremonies, blamed the lower-than-anticipated turnout on initial warnings that Typhoon Mufia could bring heavy rains and winds to the capital."
Now, if Chea Sokhom has a salary anywhere near as impressive as his job title, the man is set for life. By the way, the typhoon pretty much skipped over Cambodia, but we did get just enough fringe precipitation to generously soak the opening day's crowd and swamp about thirty of the racing boats. Frankly, we needed the rain much more than the boat races.
As I was reading an article in The Cambodia Daily regarding the relatively poor attendance at last year's Water Festival in Phnom Penh, I came across this quote:
"Chea Sokhom, deputy secretary-general of the Secretariat General for the Permanent Organizing Commission for National and International Ceremonies, blamed the lower-than-anticipated turnout on initial warnings that Typhoon Mufia could bring heavy rains and winds to the capital."
Now, if Chea Sokhom has a salary anywhere near as impressive as his job title, the man is set for life. By the way, the typhoon pretty much skipped over Cambodia, but we did get just enough fringe precipitation to generously soak the opening day's crowd and swamp about thirty of the racing boats. Frankly, we needed the rain much more than the boat races.
The Cost of Living in Cambodia
Okay, this is blatantly stolen from a friend of mines Cambodia Blog, but he says that he does not mind.
When you have finished reading this, remember that my volunteer allowance is around US$200 a month – plus rent…
D
*** *** *** ***
Dear all,
I have been corresponding by email over the last few months with a young couple in Belgium who are contemplating a move to Phnom Penh to set up permanent residence. They recently asked me whether it is possible for two persons to survive in Phnom Penh on a fixed income of US$750 per month. I thought that my reply to them might be of sufficient general interest to the readers of this journal that I am posting excerpts below:
With regards to your specific question about getting by in PP on $750 a month, the answer is that with careful money management and provided you live a very, very, simple lifestyle, you can just about survive on that amount of money. But it all really depends on the type of life you want to live. You can live just as simply or extravagantly as you want, and each comes with its own price tag. Jill and I live very quietly and simply in a family type environment. We eat all of our meals at home, do not go out after dark, do not frequent bars, do not spend money on beer or meals out.
Each month it takes about $550 to support us. If you also factor in the cost of medical insurance which we pay annually, visa renewal, our monthly expenses would probably run somewhere in the $700 to $750 range.
You can find a very nice apartment in the $150 to $175 range. It is very common for families in PP to rent out space in their homes, and it is usually one whole floor of an Asian style shop house. This will usually include anywhere from one to three bedrooms, one or more bathrooms and space to set up a kitchen area.
We found accommodation for one person we met through my weblog, and he is renting one floor in a neighbour’s house for $150 a month. It is a four meter by twelve meter space, with one bedroom and one bath. The family put in a new air conditioning unit for him, and furnished the space with a new bed and armoire, curtains, fan, etc. It is typical to rent for a term of several months, rather than on a month-to-month basis. Our friend rented this space for six months, with a three month deposit up front.
Electricity can be a bit pricey over here. If you are running one a/c unit on a moderate basis, together with a TV, fans, computer, etc., you can expect a monthly electrical bill in the $35 to $40 range.
If you get cable TV installed (a must, unless you plan on going mad with boredom), installation is $50 and monthly cost is $10 (or $50 for 6 months, if you pay for 6 months in advance). Bottom line, you can get a very decent apartment, together with all utilities, including cable TV, at a monthly cost of around $200.
If you've got a monthly budget of $750, then you've still got $550 of spending power for your other expenses!
One thing that you would absolutely need is good medical insurance, particularly coverage that provides for evacuation to Bangkok in the event of a medical emergency, as the medical facilities and quality of care in PP are very poor. For someone in your age range (late twenty's, early thirty's), you can expect to pay an annual premium somewhere in the $400 to $550 range. So that would be something less than $100 a month for the two of you, leaving about $450 a month for the balance of your expenses.
Food is another area where the expense can vary widely, depending on your tastes and lifestyle. Jill and I eat very inexpensively. Her sister does all of our food shopping and cooking. She shops everyday, and buys all of our produce and meat at the local open-air Khmer markets. With the exception of packaged noodles, we really do not eat any processed food. Everything is fresh.
Each week we provide her sister with a $20 food allowance. That easily covers the costs of meat, fish and vegetables. Over and above the $20, Jill and I buy rice (a 50kg sack for about $17 or $18, which lasts about 6 weeks) and boxes of instant noodles. As long as we've lived here, I do not think we've ever spent more than $125 for the monthly food. Jill and I do indulge ourselves with a certain amount of western snack foods, which probably run around $30 a month. So over all, our total monthly food expense is going to hover somewhere around $140 to $150.
If the two of you were to live here and eat all of your meals at restaurants which cater to foreigners, you could easily spend $350 to $400 a month on food. If you were to eat half of your meals at good quality Khmer restaurants, and cooked the other half of your meals at home, you would probably be spending about $200 a month for food. If you ate a Khmer diet and had someone cook all of your meals at home, you could eat for as little as $100 a month. Again, it all depends on your personal tastes and lifestyle choices.
In my personal view, the best and most inexpensive way to go is to rent space in a Khmer household, then hire someone from the Khmer family to do your household cleaning, laundry and cooking. This is a very common arrangement, and a very inexpensive way to live.So to make a long answer short, two guys can easily live on $750 a month, provided you do not get seriously involved in the foreign ex-pat social scene, which is very hedonistically inclined and heavily dependent on alcohol consumption and expensive restaurants, both of which can severely strain a meagre budget.
*** *** *** ***
This could explain why I never have any money !!!
D
When you have finished reading this, remember that my volunteer allowance is around US$200 a month – plus rent…
D
*** *** *** ***
Dear all,
I have been corresponding by email over the last few months with a young couple in Belgium who are contemplating a move to Phnom Penh to set up permanent residence. They recently asked me whether it is possible for two persons to survive in Phnom Penh on a fixed income of US$750 per month. I thought that my reply to them might be of sufficient general interest to the readers of this journal that I am posting excerpts below:
With regards to your specific question about getting by in PP on $750 a month, the answer is that with careful money management and provided you live a very, very, simple lifestyle, you can just about survive on that amount of money. But it all really depends on the type of life you want to live. You can live just as simply or extravagantly as you want, and each comes with its own price tag. Jill and I live very quietly and simply in a family type environment. We eat all of our meals at home, do not go out after dark, do not frequent bars, do not spend money on beer or meals out.
Each month it takes about $550 to support us. If you also factor in the cost of medical insurance which we pay annually, visa renewal, our monthly expenses would probably run somewhere in the $700 to $750 range.
You can find a very nice apartment in the $150 to $175 range. It is very common for families in PP to rent out space in their homes, and it is usually one whole floor of an Asian style shop house. This will usually include anywhere from one to three bedrooms, one or more bathrooms and space to set up a kitchen area.
We found accommodation for one person we met through my weblog, and he is renting one floor in a neighbour’s house for $150 a month. It is a four meter by twelve meter space, with one bedroom and one bath. The family put in a new air conditioning unit for him, and furnished the space with a new bed and armoire, curtains, fan, etc. It is typical to rent for a term of several months, rather than on a month-to-month basis. Our friend rented this space for six months, with a three month deposit up front.
Electricity can be a bit pricey over here. If you are running one a/c unit on a moderate basis, together with a TV, fans, computer, etc., you can expect a monthly electrical bill in the $35 to $40 range.
If you get cable TV installed (a must, unless you plan on going mad with boredom), installation is $50 and monthly cost is $10 (or $50 for 6 months, if you pay for 6 months in advance). Bottom line, you can get a very decent apartment, together with all utilities, including cable TV, at a monthly cost of around $200.
If you've got a monthly budget of $750, then you've still got $550 of spending power for your other expenses!
One thing that you would absolutely need is good medical insurance, particularly coverage that provides for evacuation to Bangkok in the event of a medical emergency, as the medical facilities and quality of care in PP are very poor. For someone in your age range (late twenty's, early thirty's), you can expect to pay an annual premium somewhere in the $400 to $550 range. So that would be something less than $100 a month for the two of you, leaving about $450 a month for the balance of your expenses.
Food is another area where the expense can vary widely, depending on your tastes and lifestyle. Jill and I eat very inexpensively. Her sister does all of our food shopping and cooking. She shops everyday, and buys all of our produce and meat at the local open-air Khmer markets. With the exception of packaged noodles, we really do not eat any processed food. Everything is fresh.
Each week we provide her sister with a $20 food allowance. That easily covers the costs of meat, fish and vegetables. Over and above the $20, Jill and I buy rice (a 50kg sack for about $17 or $18, which lasts about 6 weeks) and boxes of instant noodles. As long as we've lived here, I do not think we've ever spent more than $125 for the monthly food. Jill and I do indulge ourselves with a certain amount of western snack foods, which probably run around $30 a month. So over all, our total monthly food expense is going to hover somewhere around $140 to $150.
If the two of you were to live here and eat all of your meals at restaurants which cater to foreigners, you could easily spend $350 to $400 a month on food. If you were to eat half of your meals at good quality Khmer restaurants, and cooked the other half of your meals at home, you would probably be spending about $200 a month for food. If you ate a Khmer diet and had someone cook all of your meals at home, you could eat for as little as $100 a month. Again, it all depends on your personal tastes and lifestyle choices.
In my personal view, the best and most inexpensive way to go is to rent space in a Khmer household, then hire someone from the Khmer family to do your household cleaning, laundry and cooking. This is a very common arrangement, and a very inexpensive way to live.So to make a long answer short, two guys can easily live on $750 a month, provided you do not get seriously involved in the foreign ex-pat social scene, which is very hedonistically inclined and heavily dependent on alcohol consumption and expensive restaurants, both of which can severely strain a meagre budget.
*** *** *** ***
This could explain why I never have any money !!!
D
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
April in Cambodia
Greeting and Felicitations all,
April has been a complex month with fun and activities crossing the entire spectrum, it has also been bloody hot here, two weeks in it hit the 40C mark and hovered around there (38 to 42) for a week or so. Nights still being in the low to mid 30’s. My electricity bill is going to be massive this month, probably representing 30% of my monthly stipend just in air-conditioning, ho hum, roll on the rainy season.
Even now at the end of the month we are still having 40C weather everyday, by the end of May we should be getting rain two or three times a week for a few hours at a time.
April is also the month in which Khmer New Year falls. Now Cambodia celebrates New Year three times a year: first of all we have ‘International New Year’ which falls on the first of January, then a few months later we have Chinese New Year, which is two more days of Bank Holiday’s, then finally – this month - we have Khmer New Year which is three more days. BTW: it should be noted that Cambodia has more Bank Holidays per year than any other Country, with 26 official ones listed, plus these overspill into a few unofficial ones which in reality pushes the number to over 30 days off for Bank Holidays every year?!?
Monday the 4th
04:00 I want too sleep !
I awake at 04:00 in the morning disturbed by a noise that I can not quite place, wandering out to the living room I slip slightly, but manage to maintain my balance, the floor is awash with water. Looking out of the window I realise that it is pouring it down with a monsoon rain! The noise was 14 inches of water falling in less than an hour. Not expecting rain I have had all of my windows open for around 3 months now, just to let the small token breeze in for a modicum of cool air.
At 07:00 as I head into the office the roads are almost dry and I can practically feel the steam rising up off the road. Unseasonable rain at this time of year is called mango rain, plean ply-s’why, by the Khmers, you only get it once or twice a year.
Thankfully my government office is well air-conditioned !
Tuesday the 5th
Heng’s Birthday
I take the day off work; Heng and I go shopping for her birthday present. If I had gone shopping on my own for it, I would have been charge at least 50% more for it…
Then a trip around the Sorya shopping centre, strolling around its 5 floors of air-conditioned bliss; not needing to buy anything, just enjoying the escape from the norm – and the heat!
Treating myself to a few new DVD’s I retreat home for the afternoon.
The evening is spent with friends at the Peace Café, who come bearing presents much to Heng’s amusement [and happiness!] Khmers do not make a big deal out of birthdays, although they do enjoy getting presents very much !
Wednesday the 6th
Dave and family for lunch
Today was the day for my monthly lunch party. This month I invited Dave who owns the Peace Café, along with his wife and son.
Also in attendance were the usual gaggle of Khmer girls who come and clean and cook for a free lunch.
Master Chef was of course Heng, who was very keen to show off the new recipes that she has learnt to her Khmer girlfriends, along with the usual mix of Khmer recipes.
· Chicken Cordon Bleu
· Breaded beef nuggets
· Tom Yam soup
· Pork and ginger stir fry
· Chips
· Mashed potatoes
Thursday the 7th
One of those Random Random Phnom Penh Nights
About 7PM the phone rings. It is Heng’s cousin from up in Siem Reap. It seems that her and her husband are in Phnom Penh for the night , furthermore, they also want to go to SPARK, the European-style aircraft hanger size disco and night club. Also, several of the aging aunt’s are with them. Not quite sure what a bevy of Khmer aunties pushing 50 will make of the place, however, I agree to join them, so they say that they will pick me up at 10PM
9:30PM they are knocking on the door, in they all traipse; Auntie Hamster-Face, Auntie Permanent Look of Shock, cousin hot girl with very short skirts and her husband - the Khmer equivalent of Del Boy; - only these pair run a hotel in Siam Reap (Glen, Paul, you know who I mean :-)
Fascinated to see how a barang, foreigner, lives they stroll around the flat looking at books, CD’s, DVD’s, wall hangings, the contents of my fridge, et cetera. Poking into every nook and cranny and asking how much rent I pay and what everything costs. All very typical here !
So off we all go, the 6 of us piling into a Honda CR-V
Arriving at SPARK – eventually, after the ‘scenic route’ – we are frisked and patted down by security, much to the amusement of the aging aunties. Once inside the main room I am disappointed that we are ushered to the central tables and that we do not get a private booth as I am used to there.
As usual there is a live backing band playing, with about half a dozen rotating singers coming on for two or three songs at a time. This goes on for around an hour, when they then switchover to a DJ and disco type affair. Having only recently had access to Western songs they tend to play a rather jumbled mixture; Madonna (Holiday) is followed by MC Hammer, is followed by The Grease theme tune, is followed by Kylie, is followed by a couple of Khmer hit pop songs (can not be described, need to be experienced…) is followed by a Queen medley. All the while with the Khmer DJ’s are throwing in ad libs and trying to sing along – painful.
A unique experience to say the least…
Around 11:30 the aunties feel that hey have had quite enough exposure to modern popular culture for one evening (lifetime?) so we leave, they drop me off at home and I fairly tired from the long day and decided to head straight to bed.
Saturday the 9th
Office Khmer New Year Party
17:30 The Tai May Hotel Restaurant.
Having been informed of the office Khmer New Year Party a good 24 hours in advance I really had no excuse not too go.
Possessing rudimentary directions – opposite the Ministry of the Interior (MoI) – I head off looking for the Hotel / Restaurant.
After half an hour of riding up and down the southern end of Norodom Boulevard, past the MoI so often that the security guards were starting to look at me funny, I finally manage to get one of my Khmer colleagues on the phone.
It seems that ‘opposite’ needed to be translated a little better, to something like – on the same side of the road but six blocks south…
Upon arrival, the restaurant appeared somewhat smaller than last year’s venue, but that was okay, as there appeared to be about 75% less people there this year.
Joining one of the larger tables with the senior staff on. We immediately got on with the business of toasting each others health, a happy new year, the colour red, the chandeliers, et cetera…
In between the toasting, drinking and backslapping we were served:
· Whitebait stir-fried with peanuts
· BBQ Leg Pork (fat, fat, soggy skin and a little meat) and spring greens
· Whole fish in ginger, spring onion and soy bean sauce (yes, whole still means whole, head, eyes, gills, entrails, et cetera…)
· Bok La Hong (papaya, seafood and chilli salad)
· Tom Yam Soup
· Fresh fruit
And of course…
· Boiled rice by the bucketful
Around 21:00 only half a dozen of us are left, so my boss asks for the bill and the remaining few of us call it a night.
Driving back home I remember that tomorrow Dave and his family is going away for a few days to the beach, so I figure I should swing by the Peace Café and wish everyone a happy new year
Wednesday the 13th
Last day of school…
As it is the last day of work before Khmer New Year, I treat myself to an hour’s lie-in and do not go to the office until 08:00.
It would seem that everyone else is treating themselves as well. Out of 45 members of staff, there is me in the office !
09:00 hum. Still only me here and I have almost finished the report I was editing on fish exports to Thailand and Vietnam, yawn, yawn.
10:00 bugger this, I am off home!
Having no staff at home either today, I treat myself by cooking a full English fry up, or as close as one can do one with Khmer ingredients :-)
As the afternoon draws on, I decide to head out to see a few people in some of the ex-pat bars around the city – all the Khmer places are closed, only about half the ex-pat owned places are open as well.
Afternoon
So, during the course of the afternoon / early evening I cover; Barry’s Bar, The Green Vespa Bar, The Snake Bar and then I decide to call it a night and head home.
Just as I arrive home I get a phone call from Heng, she wants to go out to the Snake bar and see her friends that work there, so I head out to the bar and meet up with the gang.
Feeling some what peckish I avail myself of the French bar snack menu and order a croque madam with frites – that is a cheese and ham toastie with a fried egg on top and a portion of chips, had quite enough rice this week :-)
As we are all chatting and drinking down cold refreshing beers I notice that the bar clock has crept up to midnight, pointing this out to my Khmer friend I toast them a happy new year, they return the toast but start laughing, when I ask why they are laughing they inform me that the Khmer New Year does not start until 12:47
I am sorry, did you say 12:47 ?
Yes, comes the reply, 12:47 is when Buddha arrive in Phnom Penh, he has other Countries and then provinces in Cambodia to visit first, but he will arrive in Phnom Penh at 12:47
Of course, by now I know better than to smirk, smile or make any sort of comment about this, I just nod.
However, once I have managed to nod with a straight face I somehow lose control of my mouth (and possibly my brain as well) in a voice remarkably like mine I hear a voice inquire ‘how do you know it is 12:47 exactly that Buddha will arrive at?’
Fortunately my friends do not think that I am joking around and they answer quite seriously, the royal astrologer has worked out the times needed according to the celestial guides for Buddha to travel through the skies visiting each Country on his giant golden rooster.
Giant, what, gold, what? What? What? Comes my scholarly reply
It seems that as this year is the year of the rooster…
Thursday the 14th
First day of the 3 day Khmer New Year
I had an invite to have a traditional New Years Days breakfast with Heng’s family, arriving slightly late at 08:30, I find that they have waited for me before they start (oops, feeling a little guilty about that)
So we are swiftly served breakfast:
· Chicken and sweet potato curry
· Chicken and Black Mushroom stir-fry – with ginger and spring onions
· French bread
- and, yeah, you guessed it, rice !
All washed down with lashing and lashing of Tiger Beer, yes it was 09:00 and they were drinking already !?!?
Is it any wonder that I spent the afternoon half asleep on the sofa watching TV
Friday the 15th
Second day of the Khmer New Year
Quiet morning at home, followed in the afternoon with a road trip on the bike out to the Udong mountains and specifically to Phnom Chet Dey Mak (Phnom means mountain in Khmer)
The journey took around an hour, and that included a 10 – 15 minute stop for iced coffee
Arriving at Phnom Chet Dey Mak we see a horde of Khmers, hundreds of people, on foot, on bikes, in cars. It seems to be a popular destination. Taking the longer road around the whole base of the mountain, we come across countless market stalls selling food, water, knick-knacks, et cetera. We also come across several groups of young Khmers throwing water balloons and turning hosepipes on anyone within range…
Coming full circle again to the entrance I park the bike in the car park and we stroll up to the main stairs.
At the base of the mountain there is a crowd of people playing one of the many tradition Khmer new year games’. In this one a person is blindfolded, spun around and given a big, thick, length of bamboo, suspended by a piece of string above them is a terracotta pot filled with talc and 100 riel notes, the crowd shouts encouragement and directions as the hapless soul swings around in vain trying to hit the pot.
Of course, when they do hit the pot, the lucky ones in the crowd are covered in talc and hundred riel notes, the unlucky ones are lacerated by shards of flying terracotta… but hey, this is Cambodia.
After this game finishes, we head up the 1,000 steps to the top of the mountain and the temple on the top.
Why do the Khmers always build their Temples on the tops of mountains? Do they believe that you have to be tired, hot and sweaty to pray ?
As we start up the stairs the beggars, hawkers and vagabonds start harassing us, trying to sell us 500 riel bottle of water for 4000 riel, et cetera. Thankfully I am accompanied by the faithful and trusty Heng, who, armed with a fistful of 100 riel notes (0.01 pence), keeps the horde at bay.
Evening
Arriving back in the city, the traditional evening activities of the Khmer New Year are taking place, street corners everywhere are lined with Khmer youths armed with water and talc, anyone who drives more than a hundred yards in Cambodia on any of the three evenings is guaranteed to get soaked and covered in talc.
Feeling a little peckish, I stop at one of the many roadside food stalls and order a plate of Bok la hong - papaya, seafood and chilli salad. As I am sat there fiddling with crab legs and chop-sticks, I suddenly am dizzy and disorientated, my vision clearing, I realise that I am soaked to the skin; I had just been hit smack in the face with a water filled balloon !
Three young Khmer lads all balancing on the same 50cc moped were waving at me and laughing – sors’day chnam thmey, they cry, Hello New Year! Forcing a soggy smile I wave back and mutter some English phrases that they would most defiantly not have been taught in school…
Finishing my papaya salad, which luckily had out of the line of fire, I order a bottle of mineral water, a litre bottle, a plastic litre bottle of water. Coming to the conclusion that the best form of defence is attack I keep half an eye on the approaching traffic, less than a minute later I see a another moped – out of the hundred driving up and down the road – veer towards me, pretending to ignore it I wait until they are only 3 feet away, the two guys on the back raise their arms, when suddenly I lift up the bottle which was obscured from their vision and squeeze down as hard as I can – bang I get all three of them in the head with a litre of water, their aims go completely astray – much to the annoyance of the now soaked women sat opposite me! the lads carry on riding down the road with massive grins, shouting ‘barang laying dai, barang laying dai!’ - the foreigner is playing too, the foreigner is playing too!!
Well, I managed to pass the next hour – and next 6 litres of water like this. Borrowing a knife of the stall owner I punched a hole in the top of the water bottle so that I could get more distance and accuracy from the plastic bottle.
After the first five minutes of this I was told that I was doing it wrong ?
Huh? I thought, how could I be doing it wrong? It is squirting water; is it some form of rocket science that I was unaware of? Just seems like basic physics to me? squeeze sides of bottle, jet of water comes out the front ???
No, no, no. came the reply. You are boy, you should squirt only girls, the prettier the girl, the more water you try and soak her with !
Well, if you insist, if that is the culturally correct thing to do, who am I to ignore local custom :-)
Well, an hour or so later, soaked to the skin and my black, black, jeans looking very white from the talc I call it a night.
On the way home I pass near by to Barry’s bar and feel that it would be churlish to pass by without wishing everyone a happy new year – and of course partaking a=in a cold icy beverage or two :-)
Saturday the 16th
Last day of the Khmer New Year Festival.
I have a nice lazy day at home, watch a couple of movies and have a pizza delivered for lunch – hey, it is a holiday !
Dinner with Heng’s family. Beef broth, fish paste and rice and French bread.
Out and about in town for the water fight. Armed with around 50 water balloons, two x 2 litre bottles of water with holes punched in the top and a big bottle of talcum powder.
Plus, a small and slightly manic Khmer girl riding pillion / shotgun (Heng)
First port of call, the length of the river side, where around a thousand people are lining the wide streets and roads throwing water, talc and lotus petals in a frenzy wishing all and sundry a happy new year, it takes over an hour to travel 2 miles. I am of course soaked to the skin within the first 10 minutes. The majority of the water balloons get used up on this stretch of the evening, I developed something of a dead aim with them by the end of the evening, in fact, I suspect that Alan at the Green Vespa might just bar me the next time I go in, as I hit him on the back of the head TWICE from a range of 25 yards or more :-)
Second popular venue is the L – shape stretch of road outside the Hotel Cambodiana, round to the Independence Monument, again over a thousand people lining both sides of the dual carriage way
Deciding that the third port of call should be the circular road around Wat Phnom we head back there via the river front again.
All in all over three hours of water fights and talc bombs, wonderful fun for those of us who refuse to grow up !
April has been a complex month with fun and activities crossing the entire spectrum, it has also been bloody hot here, two weeks in it hit the 40C mark and hovered around there (38 to 42) for a week or so. Nights still being in the low to mid 30’s. My electricity bill is going to be massive this month, probably representing 30% of my monthly stipend just in air-conditioning, ho hum, roll on the rainy season.
Even now at the end of the month we are still having 40C weather everyday, by the end of May we should be getting rain two or three times a week for a few hours at a time.
April is also the month in which Khmer New Year falls. Now Cambodia celebrates New Year three times a year: first of all we have ‘International New Year’ which falls on the first of January, then a few months later we have Chinese New Year, which is two more days of Bank Holiday’s, then finally – this month - we have Khmer New Year which is three more days. BTW: it should be noted that Cambodia has more Bank Holidays per year than any other Country, with 26 official ones listed, plus these overspill into a few unofficial ones which in reality pushes the number to over 30 days off for Bank Holidays every year?!?
Monday the 4th
04:00 I want too sleep !
I awake at 04:00 in the morning disturbed by a noise that I can not quite place, wandering out to the living room I slip slightly, but manage to maintain my balance, the floor is awash with water. Looking out of the window I realise that it is pouring it down with a monsoon rain! The noise was 14 inches of water falling in less than an hour. Not expecting rain I have had all of my windows open for around 3 months now, just to let the small token breeze in for a modicum of cool air.
At 07:00 as I head into the office the roads are almost dry and I can practically feel the steam rising up off the road. Unseasonable rain at this time of year is called mango rain, plean ply-s’why, by the Khmers, you only get it once or twice a year.
Thankfully my government office is well air-conditioned !
Tuesday the 5th
Heng’s Birthday
I take the day off work; Heng and I go shopping for her birthday present. If I had gone shopping on my own for it, I would have been charge at least 50% more for it…
Then a trip around the Sorya shopping centre, strolling around its 5 floors of air-conditioned bliss; not needing to buy anything, just enjoying the escape from the norm – and the heat!
Treating myself to a few new DVD’s I retreat home for the afternoon.
The evening is spent with friends at the Peace Café, who come bearing presents much to Heng’s amusement [and happiness!] Khmers do not make a big deal out of birthdays, although they do enjoy getting presents very much !
Wednesday the 6th
Dave and family for lunch
Today was the day for my monthly lunch party. This month I invited Dave who owns the Peace Café, along with his wife and son.
Also in attendance were the usual gaggle of Khmer girls who come and clean and cook for a free lunch.
Master Chef was of course Heng, who was very keen to show off the new recipes that she has learnt to her Khmer girlfriends, along with the usual mix of Khmer recipes.
· Chicken Cordon Bleu
· Breaded beef nuggets
· Tom Yam soup
· Pork and ginger stir fry
· Chips
· Mashed potatoes
Thursday the 7th
One of those Random Random Phnom Penh Nights
About 7PM the phone rings. It is Heng’s cousin from up in Siem Reap. It seems that her and her husband are in Phnom Penh for the night , furthermore, they also want to go to SPARK, the European-style aircraft hanger size disco and night club. Also, several of the aging aunt’s are with them. Not quite sure what a bevy of Khmer aunties pushing 50 will make of the place, however, I agree to join them, so they say that they will pick me up at 10PM
9:30PM they are knocking on the door, in they all traipse; Auntie Hamster-Face, Auntie Permanent Look of Shock, cousin hot girl with very short skirts and her husband - the Khmer equivalent of Del Boy; - only these pair run a hotel in Siam Reap (Glen, Paul, you know who I mean :-)
Fascinated to see how a barang, foreigner, lives they stroll around the flat looking at books, CD’s, DVD’s, wall hangings, the contents of my fridge, et cetera. Poking into every nook and cranny and asking how much rent I pay and what everything costs. All very typical here !
So off we all go, the 6 of us piling into a Honda CR-V
Arriving at SPARK – eventually, after the ‘scenic route’ – we are frisked and patted down by security, much to the amusement of the aging aunties. Once inside the main room I am disappointed that we are ushered to the central tables and that we do not get a private booth as I am used to there.
As usual there is a live backing band playing, with about half a dozen rotating singers coming on for two or three songs at a time. This goes on for around an hour, when they then switchover to a DJ and disco type affair. Having only recently had access to Western songs they tend to play a rather jumbled mixture; Madonna (Holiday) is followed by MC Hammer, is followed by The Grease theme tune, is followed by Kylie, is followed by a couple of Khmer hit pop songs (can not be described, need to be experienced…) is followed by a Queen medley. All the while with the Khmer DJ’s are throwing in ad libs and trying to sing along – painful.
A unique experience to say the least…
Around 11:30 the aunties feel that hey have had quite enough exposure to modern popular culture for one evening (lifetime?) so we leave, they drop me off at home and I fairly tired from the long day and decided to head straight to bed.
Saturday the 9th
Office Khmer New Year Party
17:30 The Tai May Hotel Restaurant.
Having been informed of the office Khmer New Year Party a good 24 hours in advance I really had no excuse not too go.
Possessing rudimentary directions – opposite the Ministry of the Interior (MoI) – I head off looking for the Hotel / Restaurant.
After half an hour of riding up and down the southern end of Norodom Boulevard, past the MoI so often that the security guards were starting to look at me funny, I finally manage to get one of my Khmer colleagues on the phone.
It seems that ‘opposite’ needed to be translated a little better, to something like – on the same side of the road but six blocks south…
Upon arrival, the restaurant appeared somewhat smaller than last year’s venue, but that was okay, as there appeared to be about 75% less people there this year.
Joining one of the larger tables with the senior staff on. We immediately got on with the business of toasting each others health, a happy new year, the colour red, the chandeliers, et cetera…
In between the toasting, drinking and backslapping we were served:
· Whitebait stir-fried with peanuts
· BBQ Leg Pork (fat, fat, soggy skin and a little meat) and spring greens
· Whole fish in ginger, spring onion and soy bean sauce (yes, whole still means whole, head, eyes, gills, entrails, et cetera…)
· Bok La Hong (papaya, seafood and chilli salad)
· Tom Yam Soup
· Fresh fruit
And of course…
· Boiled rice by the bucketful
Around 21:00 only half a dozen of us are left, so my boss asks for the bill and the remaining few of us call it a night.
Driving back home I remember that tomorrow Dave and his family is going away for a few days to the beach, so I figure I should swing by the Peace Café and wish everyone a happy new year
Wednesday the 13th
Last day of school…
As it is the last day of work before Khmer New Year, I treat myself to an hour’s lie-in and do not go to the office until 08:00.
It would seem that everyone else is treating themselves as well. Out of 45 members of staff, there is me in the office !
09:00 hum. Still only me here and I have almost finished the report I was editing on fish exports to Thailand and Vietnam, yawn, yawn.
10:00 bugger this, I am off home!
Having no staff at home either today, I treat myself by cooking a full English fry up, or as close as one can do one with Khmer ingredients :-)
As the afternoon draws on, I decide to head out to see a few people in some of the ex-pat bars around the city – all the Khmer places are closed, only about half the ex-pat owned places are open as well.
Afternoon
So, during the course of the afternoon / early evening I cover; Barry’s Bar, The Green Vespa Bar, The Snake Bar and then I decide to call it a night and head home.
Just as I arrive home I get a phone call from Heng, she wants to go out to the Snake bar and see her friends that work there, so I head out to the bar and meet up with the gang.
Feeling some what peckish I avail myself of the French bar snack menu and order a croque madam with frites – that is a cheese and ham toastie with a fried egg on top and a portion of chips, had quite enough rice this week :-)
As we are all chatting and drinking down cold refreshing beers I notice that the bar clock has crept up to midnight, pointing this out to my Khmer friend I toast them a happy new year, they return the toast but start laughing, when I ask why they are laughing they inform me that the Khmer New Year does not start until 12:47
I am sorry, did you say 12:47 ?
Yes, comes the reply, 12:47 is when Buddha arrive in Phnom Penh, he has other Countries and then provinces in Cambodia to visit first, but he will arrive in Phnom Penh at 12:47
Of course, by now I know better than to smirk, smile or make any sort of comment about this, I just nod.
However, once I have managed to nod with a straight face I somehow lose control of my mouth (and possibly my brain as well) in a voice remarkably like mine I hear a voice inquire ‘how do you know it is 12:47 exactly that Buddha will arrive at?’
Fortunately my friends do not think that I am joking around and they answer quite seriously, the royal astrologer has worked out the times needed according to the celestial guides for Buddha to travel through the skies visiting each Country on his giant golden rooster.
Giant, what, gold, what? What? What? Comes my scholarly reply
It seems that as this year is the year of the rooster…
Thursday the 14th
First day of the 3 day Khmer New Year
I had an invite to have a traditional New Years Days breakfast with Heng’s family, arriving slightly late at 08:30, I find that they have waited for me before they start (oops, feeling a little guilty about that)
So we are swiftly served breakfast:
· Chicken and sweet potato curry
· Chicken and Black Mushroom stir-fry – with ginger and spring onions
· French bread
- and, yeah, you guessed it, rice !
All washed down with lashing and lashing of Tiger Beer, yes it was 09:00 and they were drinking already !?!?
Is it any wonder that I spent the afternoon half asleep on the sofa watching TV
Friday the 15th
Second day of the Khmer New Year
Quiet morning at home, followed in the afternoon with a road trip on the bike out to the Udong mountains and specifically to Phnom Chet Dey Mak (Phnom means mountain in Khmer)
The journey took around an hour, and that included a 10 – 15 minute stop for iced coffee
Arriving at Phnom Chet Dey Mak we see a horde of Khmers, hundreds of people, on foot, on bikes, in cars. It seems to be a popular destination. Taking the longer road around the whole base of the mountain, we come across countless market stalls selling food, water, knick-knacks, et cetera. We also come across several groups of young Khmers throwing water balloons and turning hosepipes on anyone within range…
Coming full circle again to the entrance I park the bike in the car park and we stroll up to the main stairs.
At the base of the mountain there is a crowd of people playing one of the many tradition Khmer new year games’. In this one a person is blindfolded, spun around and given a big, thick, length of bamboo, suspended by a piece of string above them is a terracotta pot filled with talc and 100 riel notes, the crowd shouts encouragement and directions as the hapless soul swings around in vain trying to hit the pot.
Of course, when they do hit the pot, the lucky ones in the crowd are covered in talc and hundred riel notes, the unlucky ones are lacerated by shards of flying terracotta… but hey, this is Cambodia.
After this game finishes, we head up the 1,000 steps to the top of the mountain and the temple on the top.
Why do the Khmers always build their Temples on the tops of mountains? Do they believe that you have to be tired, hot and sweaty to pray ?
As we start up the stairs the beggars, hawkers and vagabonds start harassing us, trying to sell us 500 riel bottle of water for 4000 riel, et cetera. Thankfully I am accompanied by the faithful and trusty Heng, who, armed with a fistful of 100 riel notes (0.01 pence), keeps the horde at bay.
Evening
Arriving back in the city, the traditional evening activities of the Khmer New Year are taking place, street corners everywhere are lined with Khmer youths armed with water and talc, anyone who drives more than a hundred yards in Cambodia on any of the three evenings is guaranteed to get soaked and covered in talc.
Feeling a little peckish, I stop at one of the many roadside food stalls and order a plate of Bok la hong - papaya, seafood and chilli salad. As I am sat there fiddling with crab legs and chop-sticks, I suddenly am dizzy and disorientated, my vision clearing, I realise that I am soaked to the skin; I had just been hit smack in the face with a water filled balloon !
Three young Khmer lads all balancing on the same 50cc moped were waving at me and laughing – sors’day chnam thmey, they cry, Hello New Year! Forcing a soggy smile I wave back and mutter some English phrases that they would most defiantly not have been taught in school…
Finishing my papaya salad, which luckily had out of the line of fire, I order a bottle of mineral water, a litre bottle, a plastic litre bottle of water. Coming to the conclusion that the best form of defence is attack I keep half an eye on the approaching traffic, less than a minute later I see a another moped – out of the hundred driving up and down the road – veer towards me, pretending to ignore it I wait until they are only 3 feet away, the two guys on the back raise their arms, when suddenly I lift up the bottle which was obscured from their vision and squeeze down as hard as I can – bang I get all three of them in the head with a litre of water, their aims go completely astray – much to the annoyance of the now soaked women sat opposite me! the lads carry on riding down the road with massive grins, shouting ‘barang laying dai, barang laying dai!’ - the foreigner is playing too, the foreigner is playing too!!
Well, I managed to pass the next hour – and next 6 litres of water like this. Borrowing a knife of the stall owner I punched a hole in the top of the water bottle so that I could get more distance and accuracy from the plastic bottle.
After the first five minutes of this I was told that I was doing it wrong ?
Huh? I thought, how could I be doing it wrong? It is squirting water; is it some form of rocket science that I was unaware of? Just seems like basic physics to me? squeeze sides of bottle, jet of water comes out the front ???
No, no, no. came the reply. You are boy, you should squirt only girls, the prettier the girl, the more water you try and soak her with !
Well, if you insist, if that is the culturally correct thing to do, who am I to ignore local custom :-)
Well, an hour or so later, soaked to the skin and my black, black, jeans looking very white from the talc I call it a night.
On the way home I pass near by to Barry’s bar and feel that it would be churlish to pass by without wishing everyone a happy new year – and of course partaking a=in a cold icy beverage or two :-)
Saturday the 16th
Last day of the Khmer New Year Festival.
I have a nice lazy day at home, watch a couple of movies and have a pizza delivered for lunch – hey, it is a holiday !
Dinner with Heng’s family. Beef broth, fish paste and rice and French bread.
Out and about in town for the water fight. Armed with around 50 water balloons, two x 2 litre bottles of water with holes punched in the top and a big bottle of talcum powder.
Plus, a small and slightly manic Khmer girl riding pillion / shotgun (Heng)
First port of call, the length of the river side, where around a thousand people are lining the wide streets and roads throwing water, talc and lotus petals in a frenzy wishing all and sundry a happy new year, it takes over an hour to travel 2 miles. I am of course soaked to the skin within the first 10 minutes. The majority of the water balloons get used up on this stretch of the evening, I developed something of a dead aim with them by the end of the evening, in fact, I suspect that Alan at the Green Vespa might just bar me the next time I go in, as I hit him on the back of the head TWICE from a range of 25 yards or more :-)
Second popular venue is the L – shape stretch of road outside the Hotel Cambodiana, round to the Independence Monument, again over a thousand people lining both sides of the dual carriage way
Deciding that the third port of call should be the circular road around Wat Phnom we head back there via the river front again.
All in all over three hours of water fights and talc bombs, wonderful fun for those of us who refuse to grow up !
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