Khmer Police, Traffic Offences, Boxing and Beer
It is a fairly normal Sunday evening at home, normal but for one small, highly unusual, difference.
I am roaming the corridors of the flat in a mood that can only be described as ‘seriously and dangerously peevish’
It has been two days since my motorbike was stolen and I have spent most of the last 48 hours dealing with corrupt police officials, greasing palms and hinting at further payments if the bike is returned.
Not having had much joy with the forces of law and order [ha, ha] I decide to undertake my own investigation.
I quiz my neighbours, the motodops opposite, the security guards at the hotel next door, still, no joy.
So, carrying on from this I spend most of the weekend visiting dozens and dozens of bike shops, leaving them descriptions of the bike and my business card, dropping hints about reward money.
All in all, a major pain in the arse and not the way I wanted to be spending my weekend, especially in 40C plus heat.
Coupled with this, Heng is starting to add to my bad mood, she is complaining that it is my fault the bike was stolen, it is almost as if she thinks I arranged for the bike to be stolen just so that I could tell her she would have to wait for the new oven until I get a new bike.
So having had enough ‘Khmer Culture’ for the week, I tell her that I am going out for the night and that she should not expect me home anytime soon.
An hour later I am sitting in my third bar, contemplating taking the borrowed moto I was riding home and getting a motodop for the rest of the night, so I can carry on drinking, yes that is a good idea.
Leaving the bar I hang a left towards Norodom Boulevard, oops, it is a one-way street, but I am only going one block and am halfway down it before I realise, mmm should be okay…
Just as I reach the end, half a dozen Khmer police officers jump out from behind a tree and surround me – damn, busted.
As I am shuffled off to the side of the road the first police officer starts the usual dance for cash;
‘It is one-way, why you not see sign [he means the one small, unlit, no entry sign half hidden behind a tree…] you drive no good, how much you earn each month?’
So I in turn reply with the usual verbal dance steps, he then carries on to the next phase – ‘where you from, how long you stay in Cambodia, where you work, et cetera’
After about five minutes we had just gotten to the ‘can you buy me a packet of cigarettes’ part of the conversation, the part at which one usually ends up handing over 2,000r and heading off on ones way.
When suddenly, one of the other officers comes over – things were obviously not progressing fast enough for him.
With him standing about 8 inches away from me he shouts [and spits a little] directly into my face
Cop2 ‘Why you cause trouble? Why you cause trouble?’
DC ‘what?!?
Cop2 ‘you drive wrong, you not see sign, that is RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT’
DC - making a show of wiping my face with a tissue and then discarding it at his feet – I say ‘I talk to him [Cop1] you can go.’
Cop2 ‘you do wrong, now we impound your bike, you not see again, we take it from you’
DC ‘ah, no I do not think so, anyway, the bike belongs to the Minister of Fish, it is not mine, it belongs to [name minister] ’
Cop2 ‘I not believe you, you lie, why you ride his bike, why you have his bike? You lie, YOU LIE !’
At this point he is again only inches away from my nose, I am sprayed in spittle and a cloud of his bad breath. I also notice that his eyes are somewhat glassy and unfocused, oh dear.
DC ‘he lent me his bike because the police here are too FUCKING LAZY to find my bike that was stolen last week, all you police want is money from people, you are all corrupt’
Okay, maybe I was venting spleen and displacing some of my frustration at recent events towards him, but damn it, I have my limits. Of course, had I been thinking straight, I would have realised that any Khmer comfortable enough to have used the phrase ‘reckless endangerment’ spoke good enough English to follow my above rant.
Cop2 ‘[screams something I could not follow in Khmer]
DC ‘WHAT did you say ?
This was the point where things really went beyond everyone’s control. At this point both of Cop2’s arms piston out and his palms slap full force into my chest.
DC ‘you f*$< ing cv^’
Cop2 then repeats the move, attempting to shove me over the back of the bike, so I stand up.
Cop2 then grabs the back collar of my shirt and tries to drag me of the bike sideways, again, screaming in Khmer too fast for me to follow.
As I am half off the bike, with one foot now on the pavement I swing my other leg over the bike, as my momentum increases, a red mist fills my vision, Cop2 has just smacked me in the ear.
Two seconds later, the red vale lifts from my vision and I realise that there is a throbbing pain between my second and third knuckles on my right hand. As my vision comes back into focus, I see Cop2 laying in the pavement, flat on his back, with blood streaming from his freshly broken nose.
Time stood still, I stared at him for what felt like an hour, but in reality must have been only 4 or 5 seconds.
My only thoughts at this time were; ‘that will teach you, you prick’ and ‘oh my god, I am going to die on this street corner, right here, right now’
The next thing that I knew, another Khmer police officer was besides me, pushing me towards my bike saying ‘go, go, go, go, go.’ Swiftly mounting my bike I see the gold braids on this guys shoulder, he is the boss of this little gang of highway robbers, he obviously wants nothing more than for this to all disappear quickly.
Swiftly riding two blocks up, one right, one left, two right and pulling to a stop outside a bar I quickly dismount and rush inside to the safety with numbers and witnesses - not too mention a cold beer or three.
I quickly reported in with several friends, making sure that several people knew what had happened and where, just in case anything further came of it all
So far, all has been well.
Monday, May 30, 2005
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
‘Life is cheap’ is not just a cliché from old westerns
Thursday
Leaving home after lunch today to head back to the office, I notice a large crowd of maybe 100 students standing in the middle of the road outside the Khmer school just up from my flat.
Weaving my way through them, along with a few other motos, I manage to get past into the main road.
In the thick of it all, I now see several police officers taping off a section of pavement. There on the pavement, next to a pink concrete bench, was the body of a young man; possibly late teens, or early twenties.
The pool of not yet congealed blood was covering over two feet of pavement.
The bullet hole in the centre of his chest looked pitch black against the white of his school shirt; contrasting starkly with the red of the blood soaked pavement.
My exit route temporarily blocked, by gawpers and shocked schoolmates, I ask the police officer standing next to me what happened.
"he no want thief take moto, thief shoot him"
All for a second-hand Suzuki Viva.
17:00 - evening
Driving home from the office I again pass the crime scene. However, now, a mere 3 hours later, the police tape has gone, the body has gone, the blood has gone.
It could almost have been like it never happened.
Friday
Driving out of the flat this morning on the way to work I pass the scene of yesterday’s incident, 25 yards from my home.
This morning a bowl of bananas has been left on the spot, along with some incense sticks. [Traditional Buddhist thing...]
There are also several dozen small pieces of paper – 4x6 – tucked under the bowl or just laying on the pavement, each piece has something written in Khmer script on it, each in a different hand.
A few teenage students are hanging around, not talking and just looking.
Leaving home after lunch today to head back to the office, I notice a large crowd of maybe 100 students standing in the middle of the road outside the Khmer school just up from my flat.
Weaving my way through them, along with a few other motos, I manage to get past into the main road.
In the thick of it all, I now see several police officers taping off a section of pavement. There on the pavement, next to a pink concrete bench, was the body of a young man; possibly late teens, or early twenties.
The pool of not yet congealed blood was covering over two feet of pavement.
The bullet hole in the centre of his chest looked pitch black against the white of his school shirt; contrasting starkly with the red of the blood soaked pavement.
My exit route temporarily blocked, by gawpers and shocked schoolmates, I ask the police officer standing next to me what happened.
"he no want thief take moto, thief shoot him"
All for a second-hand Suzuki Viva.
17:00 - evening
Driving home from the office I again pass the crime scene. However, now, a mere 3 hours later, the police tape has gone, the body has gone, the blood has gone.
It could almost have been like it never happened.
Friday
Driving out of the flat this morning on the way to work I pass the scene of yesterday’s incident, 25 yards from my home.
This morning a bowl of bananas has been left on the spot, along with some incense sticks. [Traditional Buddhist thing...]
There are also several dozen small pieces of paper – 4x6 – tucked under the bowl or just laying on the pavement, each piece has something written in Khmer script on it, each in a different hand.
A few teenage students are hanging around, not talking and just looking.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
What the What, What?
Lounging in my usual breakfast restaurant this morning on the corner of the street, I sip my iced coffee and peer aimlessly out into the traffic that is Mao Tse Toung Boulevard.
Pottering down the road was a shiny new silver~grey tuk-tuk. One of the all inclusive designs, a purpose built vehicle, similar to a golf buggy, rather than the more usual hybrid you see here of moto and chariot.
Shiny and new it glistened as it made its way past me.
It was around then that I noticed the driver.
A thirty-something white woman, with red hair and a scowl on her face.
My Khmer breakfast companions giggled and pointed, I just ordered another coffee and closed my eyes.
It was true; the world had gone mad over the weekend
Pottering down the road was a shiny new silver~grey tuk-tuk. One of the all inclusive designs, a purpose built vehicle, similar to a golf buggy, rather than the more usual hybrid you see here of moto and chariot.
Shiny and new it glistened as it made its way past me.
It was around then that I noticed the driver.
A thirty-something white woman, with red hair and a scowl on her face.
My Khmer breakfast companions giggled and pointed, I just ordered another coffee and closed my eyes.
It was true; the world had gone mad over the weekend
Super Job Titles
Cambodia has one of the largest per capita governments of any country in the world, which is no small feat for a nation of such limited financial resources. I have come to realise that Cambodia also has the distinction of bestowing some of the world's most impressive job titles on its public servants.
As I was reading an article in The Cambodia Daily regarding the relatively poor attendance at last year's Water Festival in Phnom Penh, I came across this quote:
"Chea Sokhom, deputy secretary-general of the Secretariat General for the Permanent Organizing Commission for National and International Ceremonies, blamed the lower-than-anticipated turnout on initial warnings that Typhoon Mufia could bring heavy rains and winds to the capital."
Now, if Chea Sokhom has a salary anywhere near as impressive as his job title, the man is set for life. By the way, the typhoon pretty much skipped over Cambodia, but we did get just enough fringe precipitation to generously soak the opening day's crowd and swamp about thirty of the racing boats. Frankly, we needed the rain much more than the boat races.
As I was reading an article in The Cambodia Daily regarding the relatively poor attendance at last year's Water Festival in Phnom Penh, I came across this quote:
"Chea Sokhom, deputy secretary-general of the Secretariat General for the Permanent Organizing Commission for National and International Ceremonies, blamed the lower-than-anticipated turnout on initial warnings that Typhoon Mufia could bring heavy rains and winds to the capital."
Now, if Chea Sokhom has a salary anywhere near as impressive as his job title, the man is set for life. By the way, the typhoon pretty much skipped over Cambodia, but we did get just enough fringe precipitation to generously soak the opening day's crowd and swamp about thirty of the racing boats. Frankly, we needed the rain much more than the boat races.
The Cost of Living in Cambodia
Okay, this is blatantly stolen from a friend of mines Cambodia Blog, but he says that he does not mind.
When you have finished reading this, remember that my volunteer allowance is around US$200 a month – plus rent…
D
*** *** *** ***
Dear all,
I have been corresponding by email over the last few months with a young couple in Belgium who are contemplating a move to Phnom Penh to set up permanent residence. They recently asked me whether it is possible for two persons to survive in Phnom Penh on a fixed income of US$750 per month. I thought that my reply to them might be of sufficient general interest to the readers of this journal that I am posting excerpts below:
With regards to your specific question about getting by in PP on $750 a month, the answer is that with careful money management and provided you live a very, very, simple lifestyle, you can just about survive on that amount of money. But it all really depends on the type of life you want to live. You can live just as simply or extravagantly as you want, and each comes with its own price tag. Jill and I live very quietly and simply in a family type environment. We eat all of our meals at home, do not go out after dark, do not frequent bars, do not spend money on beer or meals out.
Each month it takes about $550 to support us. If you also factor in the cost of medical insurance which we pay annually, visa renewal, our monthly expenses would probably run somewhere in the $700 to $750 range.
You can find a very nice apartment in the $150 to $175 range. It is very common for families in PP to rent out space in their homes, and it is usually one whole floor of an Asian style shop house. This will usually include anywhere from one to three bedrooms, one or more bathrooms and space to set up a kitchen area.
We found accommodation for one person we met through my weblog, and he is renting one floor in a neighbour’s house for $150 a month. It is a four meter by twelve meter space, with one bedroom and one bath. The family put in a new air conditioning unit for him, and furnished the space with a new bed and armoire, curtains, fan, etc. It is typical to rent for a term of several months, rather than on a month-to-month basis. Our friend rented this space for six months, with a three month deposit up front.
Electricity can be a bit pricey over here. If you are running one a/c unit on a moderate basis, together with a TV, fans, computer, etc., you can expect a monthly electrical bill in the $35 to $40 range.
If you get cable TV installed (a must, unless you plan on going mad with boredom), installation is $50 and monthly cost is $10 (or $50 for 6 months, if you pay for 6 months in advance). Bottom line, you can get a very decent apartment, together with all utilities, including cable TV, at a monthly cost of around $200.
If you've got a monthly budget of $750, then you've still got $550 of spending power for your other expenses!
One thing that you would absolutely need is good medical insurance, particularly coverage that provides for evacuation to Bangkok in the event of a medical emergency, as the medical facilities and quality of care in PP are very poor. For someone in your age range (late twenty's, early thirty's), you can expect to pay an annual premium somewhere in the $400 to $550 range. So that would be something less than $100 a month for the two of you, leaving about $450 a month for the balance of your expenses.
Food is another area where the expense can vary widely, depending on your tastes and lifestyle. Jill and I eat very inexpensively. Her sister does all of our food shopping and cooking. She shops everyday, and buys all of our produce and meat at the local open-air Khmer markets. With the exception of packaged noodles, we really do not eat any processed food. Everything is fresh.
Each week we provide her sister with a $20 food allowance. That easily covers the costs of meat, fish and vegetables. Over and above the $20, Jill and I buy rice (a 50kg sack for about $17 or $18, which lasts about 6 weeks) and boxes of instant noodles. As long as we've lived here, I do not think we've ever spent more than $125 for the monthly food. Jill and I do indulge ourselves with a certain amount of western snack foods, which probably run around $30 a month. So over all, our total monthly food expense is going to hover somewhere around $140 to $150.
If the two of you were to live here and eat all of your meals at restaurants which cater to foreigners, you could easily spend $350 to $400 a month on food. If you were to eat half of your meals at good quality Khmer restaurants, and cooked the other half of your meals at home, you would probably be spending about $200 a month for food. If you ate a Khmer diet and had someone cook all of your meals at home, you could eat for as little as $100 a month. Again, it all depends on your personal tastes and lifestyle choices.
In my personal view, the best and most inexpensive way to go is to rent space in a Khmer household, then hire someone from the Khmer family to do your household cleaning, laundry and cooking. This is a very common arrangement, and a very inexpensive way to live.So to make a long answer short, two guys can easily live on $750 a month, provided you do not get seriously involved in the foreign ex-pat social scene, which is very hedonistically inclined and heavily dependent on alcohol consumption and expensive restaurants, both of which can severely strain a meagre budget.
*** *** *** ***
This could explain why I never have any money !!!
D
When you have finished reading this, remember that my volunteer allowance is around US$200 a month – plus rent…
D
*** *** *** ***
Dear all,
I have been corresponding by email over the last few months with a young couple in Belgium who are contemplating a move to Phnom Penh to set up permanent residence. They recently asked me whether it is possible for two persons to survive in Phnom Penh on a fixed income of US$750 per month. I thought that my reply to them might be of sufficient general interest to the readers of this journal that I am posting excerpts below:
With regards to your specific question about getting by in PP on $750 a month, the answer is that with careful money management and provided you live a very, very, simple lifestyle, you can just about survive on that amount of money. But it all really depends on the type of life you want to live. You can live just as simply or extravagantly as you want, and each comes with its own price tag. Jill and I live very quietly and simply in a family type environment. We eat all of our meals at home, do not go out after dark, do not frequent bars, do not spend money on beer or meals out.
Each month it takes about $550 to support us. If you also factor in the cost of medical insurance which we pay annually, visa renewal, our monthly expenses would probably run somewhere in the $700 to $750 range.
You can find a very nice apartment in the $150 to $175 range. It is very common for families in PP to rent out space in their homes, and it is usually one whole floor of an Asian style shop house. This will usually include anywhere from one to three bedrooms, one or more bathrooms and space to set up a kitchen area.
We found accommodation for one person we met through my weblog, and he is renting one floor in a neighbour’s house for $150 a month. It is a four meter by twelve meter space, with one bedroom and one bath. The family put in a new air conditioning unit for him, and furnished the space with a new bed and armoire, curtains, fan, etc. It is typical to rent for a term of several months, rather than on a month-to-month basis. Our friend rented this space for six months, with a three month deposit up front.
Electricity can be a bit pricey over here. If you are running one a/c unit on a moderate basis, together with a TV, fans, computer, etc., you can expect a monthly electrical bill in the $35 to $40 range.
If you get cable TV installed (a must, unless you plan on going mad with boredom), installation is $50 and monthly cost is $10 (or $50 for 6 months, if you pay for 6 months in advance). Bottom line, you can get a very decent apartment, together with all utilities, including cable TV, at a monthly cost of around $200.
If you've got a monthly budget of $750, then you've still got $550 of spending power for your other expenses!
One thing that you would absolutely need is good medical insurance, particularly coverage that provides for evacuation to Bangkok in the event of a medical emergency, as the medical facilities and quality of care in PP are very poor. For someone in your age range (late twenty's, early thirty's), you can expect to pay an annual premium somewhere in the $400 to $550 range. So that would be something less than $100 a month for the two of you, leaving about $450 a month for the balance of your expenses.
Food is another area where the expense can vary widely, depending on your tastes and lifestyle. Jill and I eat very inexpensively. Her sister does all of our food shopping and cooking. She shops everyday, and buys all of our produce and meat at the local open-air Khmer markets. With the exception of packaged noodles, we really do not eat any processed food. Everything is fresh.
Each week we provide her sister with a $20 food allowance. That easily covers the costs of meat, fish and vegetables. Over and above the $20, Jill and I buy rice (a 50kg sack for about $17 or $18, which lasts about 6 weeks) and boxes of instant noodles. As long as we've lived here, I do not think we've ever spent more than $125 for the monthly food. Jill and I do indulge ourselves with a certain amount of western snack foods, which probably run around $30 a month. So over all, our total monthly food expense is going to hover somewhere around $140 to $150.
If the two of you were to live here and eat all of your meals at restaurants which cater to foreigners, you could easily spend $350 to $400 a month on food. If you were to eat half of your meals at good quality Khmer restaurants, and cooked the other half of your meals at home, you would probably be spending about $200 a month for food. If you ate a Khmer diet and had someone cook all of your meals at home, you could eat for as little as $100 a month. Again, it all depends on your personal tastes and lifestyle choices.
In my personal view, the best and most inexpensive way to go is to rent space in a Khmer household, then hire someone from the Khmer family to do your household cleaning, laundry and cooking. This is a very common arrangement, and a very inexpensive way to live.So to make a long answer short, two guys can easily live on $750 a month, provided you do not get seriously involved in the foreign ex-pat social scene, which is very hedonistically inclined and heavily dependent on alcohol consumption and expensive restaurants, both of which can severely strain a meagre budget.
*** *** *** ***
This could explain why I never have any money !!!
D
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
April in Cambodia
Greeting and Felicitations all,
April has been a complex month with fun and activities crossing the entire spectrum, it has also been bloody hot here, two weeks in it hit the 40C mark and hovered around there (38 to 42) for a week or so. Nights still being in the low to mid 30’s. My electricity bill is going to be massive this month, probably representing 30% of my monthly stipend just in air-conditioning, ho hum, roll on the rainy season.
Even now at the end of the month we are still having 40C weather everyday, by the end of May we should be getting rain two or three times a week for a few hours at a time.
April is also the month in which Khmer New Year falls. Now Cambodia celebrates New Year three times a year: first of all we have ‘International New Year’ which falls on the first of January, then a few months later we have Chinese New Year, which is two more days of Bank Holiday’s, then finally – this month - we have Khmer New Year which is three more days. BTW: it should be noted that Cambodia has more Bank Holidays per year than any other Country, with 26 official ones listed, plus these overspill into a few unofficial ones which in reality pushes the number to over 30 days off for Bank Holidays every year?!?
Monday the 4th
04:00 I want too sleep !
I awake at 04:00 in the morning disturbed by a noise that I can not quite place, wandering out to the living room I slip slightly, but manage to maintain my balance, the floor is awash with water. Looking out of the window I realise that it is pouring it down with a monsoon rain! The noise was 14 inches of water falling in less than an hour. Not expecting rain I have had all of my windows open for around 3 months now, just to let the small token breeze in for a modicum of cool air.
At 07:00 as I head into the office the roads are almost dry and I can practically feel the steam rising up off the road. Unseasonable rain at this time of year is called mango rain, plean ply-s’why, by the Khmers, you only get it once or twice a year.
Thankfully my government office is well air-conditioned !
Tuesday the 5th
Heng’s Birthday
I take the day off work; Heng and I go shopping for her birthday present. If I had gone shopping on my own for it, I would have been charge at least 50% more for it…
Then a trip around the Sorya shopping centre, strolling around its 5 floors of air-conditioned bliss; not needing to buy anything, just enjoying the escape from the norm – and the heat!
Treating myself to a few new DVD’s I retreat home for the afternoon.
The evening is spent with friends at the Peace Café, who come bearing presents much to Heng’s amusement [and happiness!] Khmers do not make a big deal out of birthdays, although they do enjoy getting presents very much !
Wednesday the 6th
Dave and family for lunch
Today was the day for my monthly lunch party. This month I invited Dave who owns the Peace Café, along with his wife and son.
Also in attendance were the usual gaggle of Khmer girls who come and clean and cook for a free lunch.
Master Chef was of course Heng, who was very keen to show off the new recipes that she has learnt to her Khmer girlfriends, along with the usual mix of Khmer recipes.
· Chicken Cordon Bleu
· Breaded beef nuggets
· Tom Yam soup
· Pork and ginger stir fry
· Chips
· Mashed potatoes
Thursday the 7th
One of those Random Random Phnom Penh Nights
About 7PM the phone rings. It is Heng’s cousin from up in Siem Reap. It seems that her and her husband are in Phnom Penh for the night , furthermore, they also want to go to SPARK, the European-style aircraft hanger size disco and night club. Also, several of the aging aunt’s are with them. Not quite sure what a bevy of Khmer aunties pushing 50 will make of the place, however, I agree to join them, so they say that they will pick me up at 10PM
9:30PM they are knocking on the door, in they all traipse; Auntie Hamster-Face, Auntie Permanent Look of Shock, cousin hot girl with very short skirts and her husband - the Khmer equivalent of Del Boy; - only these pair run a hotel in Siam Reap (Glen, Paul, you know who I mean :-)
Fascinated to see how a barang, foreigner, lives they stroll around the flat looking at books, CD’s, DVD’s, wall hangings, the contents of my fridge, et cetera. Poking into every nook and cranny and asking how much rent I pay and what everything costs. All very typical here !
So off we all go, the 6 of us piling into a Honda CR-V
Arriving at SPARK – eventually, after the ‘scenic route’ – we are frisked and patted down by security, much to the amusement of the aging aunties. Once inside the main room I am disappointed that we are ushered to the central tables and that we do not get a private booth as I am used to there.
As usual there is a live backing band playing, with about half a dozen rotating singers coming on for two or three songs at a time. This goes on for around an hour, when they then switchover to a DJ and disco type affair. Having only recently had access to Western songs they tend to play a rather jumbled mixture; Madonna (Holiday) is followed by MC Hammer, is followed by The Grease theme tune, is followed by Kylie, is followed by a couple of Khmer hit pop songs (can not be described, need to be experienced…) is followed by a Queen medley. All the while with the Khmer DJ’s are throwing in ad libs and trying to sing along – painful.
A unique experience to say the least…
Around 11:30 the aunties feel that hey have had quite enough exposure to modern popular culture for one evening (lifetime?) so we leave, they drop me off at home and I fairly tired from the long day and decided to head straight to bed.
Saturday the 9th
Office Khmer New Year Party
17:30 The Tai May Hotel Restaurant.
Having been informed of the office Khmer New Year Party a good 24 hours in advance I really had no excuse not too go.
Possessing rudimentary directions – opposite the Ministry of the Interior (MoI) – I head off looking for the Hotel / Restaurant.
After half an hour of riding up and down the southern end of Norodom Boulevard, past the MoI so often that the security guards were starting to look at me funny, I finally manage to get one of my Khmer colleagues on the phone.
It seems that ‘opposite’ needed to be translated a little better, to something like – on the same side of the road but six blocks south…
Upon arrival, the restaurant appeared somewhat smaller than last year’s venue, but that was okay, as there appeared to be about 75% less people there this year.
Joining one of the larger tables with the senior staff on. We immediately got on with the business of toasting each others health, a happy new year, the colour red, the chandeliers, et cetera…
In between the toasting, drinking and backslapping we were served:
· Whitebait stir-fried with peanuts
· BBQ Leg Pork (fat, fat, soggy skin and a little meat) and spring greens
· Whole fish in ginger, spring onion and soy bean sauce (yes, whole still means whole, head, eyes, gills, entrails, et cetera…)
· Bok La Hong (papaya, seafood and chilli salad)
· Tom Yam Soup
· Fresh fruit
And of course…
· Boiled rice by the bucketful
Around 21:00 only half a dozen of us are left, so my boss asks for the bill and the remaining few of us call it a night.
Driving back home I remember that tomorrow Dave and his family is going away for a few days to the beach, so I figure I should swing by the Peace Café and wish everyone a happy new year
Wednesday the 13th
Last day of school…
As it is the last day of work before Khmer New Year, I treat myself to an hour’s lie-in and do not go to the office until 08:00.
It would seem that everyone else is treating themselves as well. Out of 45 members of staff, there is me in the office !
09:00 hum. Still only me here and I have almost finished the report I was editing on fish exports to Thailand and Vietnam, yawn, yawn.
10:00 bugger this, I am off home!
Having no staff at home either today, I treat myself by cooking a full English fry up, or as close as one can do one with Khmer ingredients :-)
As the afternoon draws on, I decide to head out to see a few people in some of the ex-pat bars around the city – all the Khmer places are closed, only about half the ex-pat owned places are open as well.
Afternoon
So, during the course of the afternoon / early evening I cover; Barry’s Bar, The Green Vespa Bar, The Snake Bar and then I decide to call it a night and head home.
Just as I arrive home I get a phone call from Heng, she wants to go out to the Snake bar and see her friends that work there, so I head out to the bar and meet up with the gang.
Feeling some what peckish I avail myself of the French bar snack menu and order a croque madam with frites – that is a cheese and ham toastie with a fried egg on top and a portion of chips, had quite enough rice this week :-)
As we are all chatting and drinking down cold refreshing beers I notice that the bar clock has crept up to midnight, pointing this out to my Khmer friend I toast them a happy new year, they return the toast but start laughing, when I ask why they are laughing they inform me that the Khmer New Year does not start until 12:47
I am sorry, did you say 12:47 ?
Yes, comes the reply, 12:47 is when Buddha arrive in Phnom Penh, he has other Countries and then provinces in Cambodia to visit first, but he will arrive in Phnom Penh at 12:47
Of course, by now I know better than to smirk, smile or make any sort of comment about this, I just nod.
However, once I have managed to nod with a straight face I somehow lose control of my mouth (and possibly my brain as well) in a voice remarkably like mine I hear a voice inquire ‘how do you know it is 12:47 exactly that Buddha will arrive at?’
Fortunately my friends do not think that I am joking around and they answer quite seriously, the royal astrologer has worked out the times needed according to the celestial guides for Buddha to travel through the skies visiting each Country on his giant golden rooster.
Giant, what, gold, what? What? What? Comes my scholarly reply
It seems that as this year is the year of the rooster…
Thursday the 14th
First day of the 3 day Khmer New Year
I had an invite to have a traditional New Years Days breakfast with Heng’s family, arriving slightly late at 08:30, I find that they have waited for me before they start (oops, feeling a little guilty about that)
So we are swiftly served breakfast:
· Chicken and sweet potato curry
· Chicken and Black Mushroom stir-fry – with ginger and spring onions
· French bread
- and, yeah, you guessed it, rice !
All washed down with lashing and lashing of Tiger Beer, yes it was 09:00 and they were drinking already !?!?
Is it any wonder that I spent the afternoon half asleep on the sofa watching TV
Friday the 15th
Second day of the Khmer New Year
Quiet morning at home, followed in the afternoon with a road trip on the bike out to the Udong mountains and specifically to Phnom Chet Dey Mak (Phnom means mountain in Khmer)
The journey took around an hour, and that included a 10 – 15 minute stop for iced coffee
Arriving at Phnom Chet Dey Mak we see a horde of Khmers, hundreds of people, on foot, on bikes, in cars. It seems to be a popular destination. Taking the longer road around the whole base of the mountain, we come across countless market stalls selling food, water, knick-knacks, et cetera. We also come across several groups of young Khmers throwing water balloons and turning hosepipes on anyone within range…
Coming full circle again to the entrance I park the bike in the car park and we stroll up to the main stairs.
At the base of the mountain there is a crowd of people playing one of the many tradition Khmer new year games’. In this one a person is blindfolded, spun around and given a big, thick, length of bamboo, suspended by a piece of string above them is a terracotta pot filled with talc and 100 riel notes, the crowd shouts encouragement and directions as the hapless soul swings around in vain trying to hit the pot.
Of course, when they do hit the pot, the lucky ones in the crowd are covered in talc and hundred riel notes, the unlucky ones are lacerated by shards of flying terracotta… but hey, this is Cambodia.
After this game finishes, we head up the 1,000 steps to the top of the mountain and the temple on the top.
Why do the Khmers always build their Temples on the tops of mountains? Do they believe that you have to be tired, hot and sweaty to pray ?
As we start up the stairs the beggars, hawkers and vagabonds start harassing us, trying to sell us 500 riel bottle of water for 4000 riel, et cetera. Thankfully I am accompanied by the faithful and trusty Heng, who, armed with a fistful of 100 riel notes (0.01 pence), keeps the horde at bay.
Evening
Arriving back in the city, the traditional evening activities of the Khmer New Year are taking place, street corners everywhere are lined with Khmer youths armed with water and talc, anyone who drives more than a hundred yards in Cambodia on any of the three evenings is guaranteed to get soaked and covered in talc.
Feeling a little peckish, I stop at one of the many roadside food stalls and order a plate of Bok la hong - papaya, seafood and chilli salad. As I am sat there fiddling with crab legs and chop-sticks, I suddenly am dizzy and disorientated, my vision clearing, I realise that I am soaked to the skin; I had just been hit smack in the face with a water filled balloon !
Three young Khmer lads all balancing on the same 50cc moped were waving at me and laughing – sors’day chnam thmey, they cry, Hello New Year! Forcing a soggy smile I wave back and mutter some English phrases that they would most defiantly not have been taught in school…
Finishing my papaya salad, which luckily had out of the line of fire, I order a bottle of mineral water, a litre bottle, a plastic litre bottle of water. Coming to the conclusion that the best form of defence is attack I keep half an eye on the approaching traffic, less than a minute later I see a another moped – out of the hundred driving up and down the road – veer towards me, pretending to ignore it I wait until they are only 3 feet away, the two guys on the back raise their arms, when suddenly I lift up the bottle which was obscured from their vision and squeeze down as hard as I can – bang I get all three of them in the head with a litre of water, their aims go completely astray – much to the annoyance of the now soaked women sat opposite me! the lads carry on riding down the road with massive grins, shouting ‘barang laying dai, barang laying dai!’ - the foreigner is playing too, the foreigner is playing too!!
Well, I managed to pass the next hour – and next 6 litres of water like this. Borrowing a knife of the stall owner I punched a hole in the top of the water bottle so that I could get more distance and accuracy from the plastic bottle.
After the first five minutes of this I was told that I was doing it wrong ?
Huh? I thought, how could I be doing it wrong? It is squirting water; is it some form of rocket science that I was unaware of? Just seems like basic physics to me? squeeze sides of bottle, jet of water comes out the front ???
No, no, no. came the reply. You are boy, you should squirt only girls, the prettier the girl, the more water you try and soak her with !
Well, if you insist, if that is the culturally correct thing to do, who am I to ignore local custom :-)
Well, an hour or so later, soaked to the skin and my black, black, jeans looking very white from the talc I call it a night.
On the way home I pass near by to Barry’s bar and feel that it would be churlish to pass by without wishing everyone a happy new year – and of course partaking a=in a cold icy beverage or two :-)
Saturday the 16th
Last day of the Khmer New Year Festival.
I have a nice lazy day at home, watch a couple of movies and have a pizza delivered for lunch – hey, it is a holiday !
Dinner with Heng’s family. Beef broth, fish paste and rice and French bread.
Out and about in town for the water fight. Armed with around 50 water balloons, two x 2 litre bottles of water with holes punched in the top and a big bottle of talcum powder.
Plus, a small and slightly manic Khmer girl riding pillion / shotgun (Heng)
First port of call, the length of the river side, where around a thousand people are lining the wide streets and roads throwing water, talc and lotus petals in a frenzy wishing all and sundry a happy new year, it takes over an hour to travel 2 miles. I am of course soaked to the skin within the first 10 minutes. The majority of the water balloons get used up on this stretch of the evening, I developed something of a dead aim with them by the end of the evening, in fact, I suspect that Alan at the Green Vespa might just bar me the next time I go in, as I hit him on the back of the head TWICE from a range of 25 yards or more :-)
Second popular venue is the L – shape stretch of road outside the Hotel Cambodiana, round to the Independence Monument, again over a thousand people lining both sides of the dual carriage way
Deciding that the third port of call should be the circular road around Wat Phnom we head back there via the river front again.
All in all over three hours of water fights and talc bombs, wonderful fun for those of us who refuse to grow up !
April has been a complex month with fun and activities crossing the entire spectrum, it has also been bloody hot here, two weeks in it hit the 40C mark and hovered around there (38 to 42) for a week or so. Nights still being in the low to mid 30’s. My electricity bill is going to be massive this month, probably representing 30% of my monthly stipend just in air-conditioning, ho hum, roll on the rainy season.
Even now at the end of the month we are still having 40C weather everyday, by the end of May we should be getting rain two or three times a week for a few hours at a time.
April is also the month in which Khmer New Year falls. Now Cambodia celebrates New Year three times a year: first of all we have ‘International New Year’ which falls on the first of January, then a few months later we have Chinese New Year, which is two more days of Bank Holiday’s, then finally – this month - we have Khmer New Year which is three more days. BTW: it should be noted that Cambodia has more Bank Holidays per year than any other Country, with 26 official ones listed, plus these overspill into a few unofficial ones which in reality pushes the number to over 30 days off for Bank Holidays every year?!?
Monday the 4th
04:00 I want too sleep !
I awake at 04:00 in the morning disturbed by a noise that I can not quite place, wandering out to the living room I slip slightly, but manage to maintain my balance, the floor is awash with water. Looking out of the window I realise that it is pouring it down with a monsoon rain! The noise was 14 inches of water falling in less than an hour. Not expecting rain I have had all of my windows open for around 3 months now, just to let the small token breeze in for a modicum of cool air.
At 07:00 as I head into the office the roads are almost dry and I can practically feel the steam rising up off the road. Unseasonable rain at this time of year is called mango rain, plean ply-s’why, by the Khmers, you only get it once or twice a year.
Thankfully my government office is well air-conditioned !
Tuesday the 5th
Heng’s Birthday
I take the day off work; Heng and I go shopping for her birthday present. If I had gone shopping on my own for it, I would have been charge at least 50% more for it…
Then a trip around the Sorya shopping centre, strolling around its 5 floors of air-conditioned bliss; not needing to buy anything, just enjoying the escape from the norm – and the heat!
Treating myself to a few new DVD’s I retreat home for the afternoon.
The evening is spent with friends at the Peace Café, who come bearing presents much to Heng’s amusement [and happiness!] Khmers do not make a big deal out of birthdays, although they do enjoy getting presents very much !
Wednesday the 6th
Dave and family for lunch
Today was the day for my monthly lunch party. This month I invited Dave who owns the Peace Café, along with his wife and son.
Also in attendance were the usual gaggle of Khmer girls who come and clean and cook for a free lunch.
Master Chef was of course Heng, who was very keen to show off the new recipes that she has learnt to her Khmer girlfriends, along with the usual mix of Khmer recipes.
· Chicken Cordon Bleu
· Breaded beef nuggets
· Tom Yam soup
· Pork and ginger stir fry
· Chips
· Mashed potatoes
Thursday the 7th
One of those Random Random Phnom Penh Nights
About 7PM the phone rings. It is Heng’s cousin from up in Siem Reap. It seems that her and her husband are in Phnom Penh for the night , furthermore, they also want to go to SPARK, the European-style aircraft hanger size disco and night club. Also, several of the aging aunt’s are with them. Not quite sure what a bevy of Khmer aunties pushing 50 will make of the place, however, I agree to join them, so they say that they will pick me up at 10PM
9:30PM they are knocking on the door, in they all traipse; Auntie Hamster-Face, Auntie Permanent Look of Shock, cousin hot girl with very short skirts and her husband - the Khmer equivalent of Del Boy; - only these pair run a hotel in Siam Reap (Glen, Paul, you know who I mean :-)
Fascinated to see how a barang, foreigner, lives they stroll around the flat looking at books, CD’s, DVD’s, wall hangings, the contents of my fridge, et cetera. Poking into every nook and cranny and asking how much rent I pay and what everything costs. All very typical here !
So off we all go, the 6 of us piling into a Honda CR-V
Arriving at SPARK – eventually, after the ‘scenic route’ – we are frisked and patted down by security, much to the amusement of the aging aunties. Once inside the main room I am disappointed that we are ushered to the central tables and that we do not get a private booth as I am used to there.
As usual there is a live backing band playing, with about half a dozen rotating singers coming on for two or three songs at a time. This goes on for around an hour, when they then switchover to a DJ and disco type affair. Having only recently had access to Western songs they tend to play a rather jumbled mixture; Madonna (Holiday) is followed by MC Hammer, is followed by The Grease theme tune, is followed by Kylie, is followed by a couple of Khmer hit pop songs (can not be described, need to be experienced…) is followed by a Queen medley. All the while with the Khmer DJ’s are throwing in ad libs and trying to sing along – painful.
A unique experience to say the least…
Around 11:30 the aunties feel that hey have had quite enough exposure to modern popular culture for one evening (lifetime?) so we leave, they drop me off at home and I fairly tired from the long day and decided to head straight to bed.
Saturday the 9th
Office Khmer New Year Party
17:30 The Tai May Hotel Restaurant.
Having been informed of the office Khmer New Year Party a good 24 hours in advance I really had no excuse not too go.
Possessing rudimentary directions – opposite the Ministry of the Interior (MoI) – I head off looking for the Hotel / Restaurant.
After half an hour of riding up and down the southern end of Norodom Boulevard, past the MoI so often that the security guards were starting to look at me funny, I finally manage to get one of my Khmer colleagues on the phone.
It seems that ‘opposite’ needed to be translated a little better, to something like – on the same side of the road but six blocks south…
Upon arrival, the restaurant appeared somewhat smaller than last year’s venue, but that was okay, as there appeared to be about 75% less people there this year.
Joining one of the larger tables with the senior staff on. We immediately got on with the business of toasting each others health, a happy new year, the colour red, the chandeliers, et cetera…
In between the toasting, drinking and backslapping we were served:
· Whitebait stir-fried with peanuts
· BBQ Leg Pork (fat, fat, soggy skin and a little meat) and spring greens
· Whole fish in ginger, spring onion and soy bean sauce (yes, whole still means whole, head, eyes, gills, entrails, et cetera…)
· Bok La Hong (papaya, seafood and chilli salad)
· Tom Yam Soup
· Fresh fruit
And of course…
· Boiled rice by the bucketful
Around 21:00 only half a dozen of us are left, so my boss asks for the bill and the remaining few of us call it a night.
Driving back home I remember that tomorrow Dave and his family is going away for a few days to the beach, so I figure I should swing by the Peace Café and wish everyone a happy new year
Wednesday the 13th
Last day of school…
As it is the last day of work before Khmer New Year, I treat myself to an hour’s lie-in and do not go to the office until 08:00.
It would seem that everyone else is treating themselves as well. Out of 45 members of staff, there is me in the office !
09:00 hum. Still only me here and I have almost finished the report I was editing on fish exports to Thailand and Vietnam, yawn, yawn.
10:00 bugger this, I am off home!
Having no staff at home either today, I treat myself by cooking a full English fry up, or as close as one can do one with Khmer ingredients :-)
As the afternoon draws on, I decide to head out to see a few people in some of the ex-pat bars around the city – all the Khmer places are closed, only about half the ex-pat owned places are open as well.
Afternoon
So, during the course of the afternoon / early evening I cover; Barry’s Bar, The Green Vespa Bar, The Snake Bar and then I decide to call it a night and head home.
Just as I arrive home I get a phone call from Heng, she wants to go out to the Snake bar and see her friends that work there, so I head out to the bar and meet up with the gang.
Feeling some what peckish I avail myself of the French bar snack menu and order a croque madam with frites – that is a cheese and ham toastie with a fried egg on top and a portion of chips, had quite enough rice this week :-)
As we are all chatting and drinking down cold refreshing beers I notice that the bar clock has crept up to midnight, pointing this out to my Khmer friend I toast them a happy new year, they return the toast but start laughing, when I ask why they are laughing they inform me that the Khmer New Year does not start until 12:47
I am sorry, did you say 12:47 ?
Yes, comes the reply, 12:47 is when Buddha arrive in Phnom Penh, he has other Countries and then provinces in Cambodia to visit first, but he will arrive in Phnom Penh at 12:47
Of course, by now I know better than to smirk, smile or make any sort of comment about this, I just nod.
However, once I have managed to nod with a straight face I somehow lose control of my mouth (and possibly my brain as well) in a voice remarkably like mine I hear a voice inquire ‘how do you know it is 12:47 exactly that Buddha will arrive at?’
Fortunately my friends do not think that I am joking around and they answer quite seriously, the royal astrologer has worked out the times needed according to the celestial guides for Buddha to travel through the skies visiting each Country on his giant golden rooster.
Giant, what, gold, what? What? What? Comes my scholarly reply
It seems that as this year is the year of the rooster…
Thursday the 14th
First day of the 3 day Khmer New Year
I had an invite to have a traditional New Years Days breakfast with Heng’s family, arriving slightly late at 08:30, I find that they have waited for me before they start (oops, feeling a little guilty about that)
So we are swiftly served breakfast:
· Chicken and sweet potato curry
· Chicken and Black Mushroom stir-fry – with ginger and spring onions
· French bread
- and, yeah, you guessed it, rice !
All washed down with lashing and lashing of Tiger Beer, yes it was 09:00 and they were drinking already !?!?
Is it any wonder that I spent the afternoon half asleep on the sofa watching TV
Friday the 15th
Second day of the Khmer New Year
Quiet morning at home, followed in the afternoon with a road trip on the bike out to the Udong mountains and specifically to Phnom Chet Dey Mak (Phnom means mountain in Khmer)
The journey took around an hour, and that included a 10 – 15 minute stop for iced coffee
Arriving at Phnom Chet Dey Mak we see a horde of Khmers, hundreds of people, on foot, on bikes, in cars. It seems to be a popular destination. Taking the longer road around the whole base of the mountain, we come across countless market stalls selling food, water, knick-knacks, et cetera. We also come across several groups of young Khmers throwing water balloons and turning hosepipes on anyone within range…
Coming full circle again to the entrance I park the bike in the car park and we stroll up to the main stairs.
At the base of the mountain there is a crowd of people playing one of the many tradition Khmer new year games’. In this one a person is blindfolded, spun around and given a big, thick, length of bamboo, suspended by a piece of string above them is a terracotta pot filled with talc and 100 riel notes, the crowd shouts encouragement and directions as the hapless soul swings around in vain trying to hit the pot.
Of course, when they do hit the pot, the lucky ones in the crowd are covered in talc and hundred riel notes, the unlucky ones are lacerated by shards of flying terracotta… but hey, this is Cambodia.
After this game finishes, we head up the 1,000 steps to the top of the mountain and the temple on the top.
Why do the Khmers always build their Temples on the tops of mountains? Do they believe that you have to be tired, hot and sweaty to pray ?
As we start up the stairs the beggars, hawkers and vagabonds start harassing us, trying to sell us 500 riel bottle of water for 4000 riel, et cetera. Thankfully I am accompanied by the faithful and trusty Heng, who, armed with a fistful of 100 riel notes (0.01 pence), keeps the horde at bay.
Evening
Arriving back in the city, the traditional evening activities of the Khmer New Year are taking place, street corners everywhere are lined with Khmer youths armed with water and talc, anyone who drives more than a hundred yards in Cambodia on any of the three evenings is guaranteed to get soaked and covered in talc.
Feeling a little peckish, I stop at one of the many roadside food stalls and order a plate of Bok la hong - papaya, seafood and chilli salad. As I am sat there fiddling with crab legs and chop-sticks, I suddenly am dizzy and disorientated, my vision clearing, I realise that I am soaked to the skin; I had just been hit smack in the face with a water filled balloon !
Three young Khmer lads all balancing on the same 50cc moped were waving at me and laughing – sors’day chnam thmey, they cry, Hello New Year! Forcing a soggy smile I wave back and mutter some English phrases that they would most defiantly not have been taught in school…
Finishing my papaya salad, which luckily had out of the line of fire, I order a bottle of mineral water, a litre bottle, a plastic litre bottle of water. Coming to the conclusion that the best form of defence is attack I keep half an eye on the approaching traffic, less than a minute later I see a another moped – out of the hundred driving up and down the road – veer towards me, pretending to ignore it I wait until they are only 3 feet away, the two guys on the back raise their arms, when suddenly I lift up the bottle which was obscured from their vision and squeeze down as hard as I can – bang I get all three of them in the head with a litre of water, their aims go completely astray – much to the annoyance of the now soaked women sat opposite me! the lads carry on riding down the road with massive grins, shouting ‘barang laying dai, barang laying dai!’ - the foreigner is playing too, the foreigner is playing too!!
Well, I managed to pass the next hour – and next 6 litres of water like this. Borrowing a knife of the stall owner I punched a hole in the top of the water bottle so that I could get more distance and accuracy from the plastic bottle.
After the first five minutes of this I was told that I was doing it wrong ?
Huh? I thought, how could I be doing it wrong? It is squirting water; is it some form of rocket science that I was unaware of? Just seems like basic physics to me? squeeze sides of bottle, jet of water comes out the front ???
No, no, no. came the reply. You are boy, you should squirt only girls, the prettier the girl, the more water you try and soak her with !
Well, if you insist, if that is the culturally correct thing to do, who am I to ignore local custom :-)
Well, an hour or so later, soaked to the skin and my black, black, jeans looking very white from the talc I call it a night.
On the way home I pass near by to Barry’s bar and feel that it would be churlish to pass by without wishing everyone a happy new year – and of course partaking a=in a cold icy beverage or two :-)
Saturday the 16th
Last day of the Khmer New Year Festival.
I have a nice lazy day at home, watch a couple of movies and have a pizza delivered for lunch – hey, it is a holiday !
Dinner with Heng’s family. Beef broth, fish paste and rice and French bread.
Out and about in town for the water fight. Armed with around 50 water balloons, two x 2 litre bottles of water with holes punched in the top and a big bottle of talcum powder.
Plus, a small and slightly manic Khmer girl riding pillion / shotgun (Heng)
First port of call, the length of the river side, where around a thousand people are lining the wide streets and roads throwing water, talc and lotus petals in a frenzy wishing all and sundry a happy new year, it takes over an hour to travel 2 miles. I am of course soaked to the skin within the first 10 minutes. The majority of the water balloons get used up on this stretch of the evening, I developed something of a dead aim with them by the end of the evening, in fact, I suspect that Alan at the Green Vespa might just bar me the next time I go in, as I hit him on the back of the head TWICE from a range of 25 yards or more :-)
Second popular venue is the L – shape stretch of road outside the Hotel Cambodiana, round to the Independence Monument, again over a thousand people lining both sides of the dual carriage way
Deciding that the third port of call should be the circular road around Wat Phnom we head back there via the river front again.
All in all over three hours of water fights and talc bombs, wonderful fun for those of us who refuse to grow up !
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