Khmer Armed Forces
It is not really as if Cambodia needs much in the way of a standing army / navy / air force.
But their have been several different stories and happenings recently that does make me wonder about the state of readiness of the Khmer armed forces.
Why only the other month a Princess announced that she wanted to marry a Frog. A Frog who is not Prince Charming after all but just a Frog. That is right Princess Norodom de dom de dom got affianced to some Frog Air Force Captain here in Cambodia training the Royal Cambodian Air Force.
But more mind-boggling than that is the fact the French, those world famous cheese eating surrender monkeys, are training the Royal Cambodian Air Force in the first place, do Khmer Jets have a reverse gear ?
What else could the Frogs have to offer as potential training officers within the Armed Forces:
– cruelty to geese? ( Cambodia has no geese to force fed in the first place)
- urinating in public? ( I believe that your average motodop could teach even a Frog a thing or two about that)
This is not too mention the RCAF soldiers who discovered a cache of Buddhist artefacts while farming in Strung Treng the other week. If, on the off chance, that an attack happened, it is nice to know that they would all be busy tending their crops, rather than risking their lives or doing anything dangerous.
Or how about the fact that the Royal Government of Cambodia is considering buying ships from China to boost its inadequate Navy. Of course, that plan is only in the negotiation stages at the minute, the Government is trying to find a donor willing to foot the bill for purchasing all this goodwill from China, I am sorry, did I say goodwill, I meant, all these boats from China.
They claim that the main use for these vessels will be “in order to crackdown on pirates and smugglers” which are, of course, the right kind of noises you need to make to the lentil-polishing-foreign-government-lackeys and lickspittles if you want them to fund you buying more weapons.
As for the current state of the Army, well, they are usually to busy extorting ‘’fines’’ off of foreigners and foreign businesses to keep up with their weapons training and square bashing.
That is when the top brass are not out of the Country having dinner with the Prime Minister of Vietnam, toasting the “traditional friendship between Viet Nam and Cambodia” err, yeah, right…
Why, only last weekend several Military Police Captains that I know had invited me out for a night of drinking, during which I suspect I heard the word ‘yuon’ at least 100 times - mind you, the karaoke bar we were in was full of young ladies of the Vietnamese persuasion.
Mind you, it is a different story when they are up against unarmed Khmer civilians, depending on who is paying their wages that day. Halt, who goes there? Friend or foe, protestor or prisoner? your land? 'bang' not any more...
Who knows, if they ever do get the plans off the ground for the new American navel base down in Kompong Som, they could probably scrap the need for a Cambodian defence force all together, just leave the, drinking, scrapping and friendly fire to the Yanks.
It is a strange old world sometimes.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Monday, April 04, 2005
Quiet Beer in Phnom Penh???
Quiet Beers and Nutter’s
You know the problem. You are enjoying a quiet can of tiger beer in an almost empty bar when the bloke ten feet further down the bar looks up and says: "I used to be an astronaut, you know."
That feeling of dread hits home. There then follows a highly unlikely story in which our hero battles from his childhood hovel in Cleethorpes to fame and fortune in Houston, Texas, where he enters the space programme and ends up piloting Apollo rockets only to have his role in the first moon landing covered up because he was not as photogenic as Armstrong.
"That was not Neil Armstrong coming down those steps, you know," the story plaintively ends.
"It was me. I still have some moon rock in my pocket, do you want to see it?"
The people who tell this kind story – or variations including sea-passages or fabulous Sea East Asian business ideas ‘I am going to start importing PROPER whelks’ - seem to be on the increase, there must be hundreds of them around the country now, because I keep running into them, you probably have too; they usually drink the cheapest possible beer, have that unhealthy barroom anti-suntan and invariably wear shorts, flip-flops and Hawaiian shirts.
They also tend to be accompanied everywhere by those small brown girls whom have Formica smiles and a host of her ill relatives.
Moreover, they rarely seem to actually live in Cambodia, they are just here for a week or two on a visa run from Thailand; but once their big idea takes off they will be moving to Phnom Penh.
Of course, when one is confronted with such celestially influenced lunatics on licensed premises, one can always get up and leave. [After finishing ones beer, of course].
However, I was in the privileged position the other evening to be adjacent to some poor young fool of a tourist who got cornered by such a nutter. Rather than beating myself a hasty retreat,
I could not resist loitering, listening in on and generally relishing some other poor sods misery - hey, what can I say, my cable TV is on the blink.
Soon the smell of this Pattaya boy’s bullshit began to even overpower the subtle, combined, odours of his cheap lager and stale sweat.
It seems that after selling his fabulously successful airline company in Manila, he decided to chill out in Thailand for a year or two, but when you are an ‘international entrepreneur’ [his words not mine; I swear to god you could not make this stuff up!] “When you are an international entrepreneur, you never really retire; you are always on the look out for your next big idea.”
This was why he was currently in Phnom Penh. He was meeting with some very, very, influential people to try and sort his next deal out - nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more.
So what does our gap-year-brat-with-daddy’s-visa-card do ? He starts nodding and going ‘oh, wow, really, wow, that must be so interesting.’
Now any fool knows that nodding and smiling to a barroom bore only encourages him. The next thing you know, you are pinned to the bar as he tells you how he used to wrestle alligators on television for a living, was the real author of the Harry Potter books and once saw Manchester City win a trophy.
So our bore starts on covering even more of his back catalogue of adventures. Some unspecific role in some company that had some thing to do with diamonds and South Africa, working on an oilrig as a teenager, offshore near the Philippines - the list just went on.
There was no mention of Neil Armstrong, but I am sure that he got there too long after I slipped out the backdoor, unable to keep a straight face any longer...
You know the problem. You are enjoying a quiet can of tiger beer in an almost empty bar when the bloke ten feet further down the bar looks up and says: "I used to be an astronaut, you know."
That feeling of dread hits home. There then follows a highly unlikely story in which our hero battles from his childhood hovel in Cleethorpes to fame and fortune in Houston, Texas, where he enters the space programme and ends up piloting Apollo rockets only to have his role in the first moon landing covered up because he was not as photogenic as Armstrong.
"That was not Neil Armstrong coming down those steps, you know," the story plaintively ends.
"It was me. I still have some moon rock in my pocket, do you want to see it?"
The people who tell this kind story – or variations including sea-passages or fabulous Sea East Asian business ideas ‘I am going to start importing PROPER whelks’ - seem to be on the increase, there must be hundreds of them around the country now, because I keep running into them, you probably have too; they usually drink the cheapest possible beer, have that unhealthy barroom anti-suntan and invariably wear shorts, flip-flops and Hawaiian shirts.
They also tend to be accompanied everywhere by those small brown girls whom have Formica smiles and a host of her ill relatives.
Moreover, they rarely seem to actually live in Cambodia, they are just here for a week or two on a visa run from Thailand; but once their big idea takes off they will be moving to Phnom Penh.
Of course, when one is confronted with such celestially influenced lunatics on licensed premises, one can always get up and leave. [After finishing ones beer, of course].
However, I was in the privileged position the other evening to be adjacent to some poor young fool of a tourist who got cornered by such a nutter. Rather than beating myself a hasty retreat,
I could not resist loitering, listening in on and generally relishing some other poor sods misery - hey, what can I say, my cable TV is on the blink.
Soon the smell of this Pattaya boy’s bullshit began to even overpower the subtle, combined, odours of his cheap lager and stale sweat.
It seems that after selling his fabulously successful airline company in Manila, he decided to chill out in Thailand for a year or two, but when you are an ‘international entrepreneur’ [his words not mine; I swear to god you could not make this stuff up!] “When you are an international entrepreneur, you never really retire; you are always on the look out for your next big idea.”
This was why he was currently in Phnom Penh. He was meeting with some very, very, influential people to try and sort his next deal out - nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more.
So what does our gap-year-brat-with-daddy’s-visa-card do ? He starts nodding and going ‘oh, wow, really, wow, that must be so interesting.’
Now any fool knows that nodding and smiling to a barroom bore only encourages him. The next thing you know, you are pinned to the bar as he tells you how he used to wrestle alligators on television for a living, was the real author of the Harry Potter books and once saw Manchester City win a trophy.
So our bore starts on covering even more of his back catalogue of adventures. Some unspecific role in some company that had some thing to do with diamonds and South Africa, working on an oilrig as a teenager, offshore near the Philippines - the list just went on.
There was no mention of Neil Armstrong, but I am sure that he got there too long after I slipped out the backdoor, unable to keep a straight face any longer...
Friday, April 01, 2005
Battambang: Cambodia's Second City
Battambang
Battambang, a mere dot on an atlas, however this provincial capital has seen a fair share of international attention. The province itself has been handed between France, Siam and Cambodia in only the last 150 years.
Battambang literally means "lost staff": referring to an episode in Khmer history when the King Kron Nhong threw his wooden staff from Angkor and it landed in present day Battambang. A fact commemorated by the huge golden statue in honour of the staff-throwing king, erected in the town. Believed to be the kingdom’s second largest city, Battambang is set in fertile alluvial soil that provides the country's highest quality rice crops. In fact, as a province, Battambang produces enough rice for the entire country. With such agricultural wealth and the existence of both rubies and emeralds within the provincial border, Battambang has grown through trade; a fact that has undoubtedly been abetted by the city's relative proximity to Bangkok. To a lesser extent, trade was also plied to the East even as far as Saigon, through the network of rivers. A strong influence in this growth of trade was immigrants; Chinese traders for centuries have played a notable role in the city's history.
Even with these economic advantages Battambang still retains its colonial charm. This is one of the prime reasons to visit the city. It exemplifies Cambodian provincial life, as if mirroring the seemingly tranquil Sang Ke River, which bisects the town. In true Cambodian tradition the river has shared importance with the market, which also dominates the centre of the town. Equally the commercial centre as it is the social. Surrounding the market are the faded yellows and peeling blues of the colonial houses that give Battambang so much of its character.
Getting there is half the fun! The road has improved drastically over the last year; however, parts of it still leave a good deal to be desired. The trip is often long and arduous. The boat from Siem Reap provides an alternative and a chance to see the synergy between the Cambodian people and their rivers, which play such a crucial role in their existence. It provides an attractive way to enter the city along the arterial waterway which has been the city's link for longer than any wheels have plied the road. Slowly Battambang accumulates along the banks of the river with increasing symptoms of urbanization. The journey is only about three hours and offers endless visual distractions.
Battambang's relevance within a Cambodian context was something that did not escape the Khmer Rouge, who found the area around the town to be of increased strategic importance: bearing witness to both the richness of the region and the geographical position of power.
Phnom Sampeou - The Ship Mountain of 700 steps. The hill is full of caves and grottos and even some cave dwelling monks and nuns. A Wat, which perches atop the hill, was used as a prison and torture facility. Beneath the pagoda is a cave system, which is where so many of the victims of the regime lay as they fell. They were simply pushed from a hole, high in the ceiling of the cave.
A brightly painted, six metre long, reclining Buddha, at the bottom of one of the caves, brings a semblance of calm. The caves are wide open and nestled within the depths of the hill. They serve as a sad testament to those who lost their lives here. A collection of skulls and bones drives the point home and instils in the place a sense morbid terror.
Phnom Krapeu - Crocodile Mountain. From Phnom Sampeou you can get the clearest view of this hill, which does, abstractly, look like the outline of a slumbering crocodile. Also visible is
Phnom Banan.
Phnom Banan: The Banan temple is a beautiful 10th century Angkorian style structure. Within the building there are five prangs, or towers, in varying states of disrepair. The entrance has 150 stairs with the archetypal naga balustrade and the occasional fallen Angkorian lion statue. Inside the central prang there is a collection of modern statues and several older lingas.
The prangs sport some ornately detailed lintels and a high level of workmanship. A slightly less aesthetic addition is the large artillery gun which looks out over the plains below, the site had both spiritual and military prowess. Not surprisingly the views from here are breathtaking with the fertile rice lands stretching out to the horizon dotted with the Technicolor of pagodas and temples. When set in contrast with the emerald green of the young paddies below it proves to be a soul-quenching vista.
Ek Phnom - This 10th century temple looks as if it is likely to collapse with hardly a right angle left in the structure - an imposing g edifice that looms overhead and seems to bulge out at the sides. With the archetypal proportions and presence, the temple stands a mute testament in the ever-changing world around it. Although in disrepair the charm and serenity of the building are still evident centuries after its construction. Ek Phnom, whilst maybe not in the same league as the Angkor Wat, still holds it own in the pantheon of temples that are found within the kingdom. In essence: a quirky little tumbledown temple, with a few examples of fine carving.
Battambang has seen a relative boom in bars and restaurants recently and now can offer a few choices with regards going out. Alternatively, do as the locals do and simply stroll along the river and enjoy the views of some fantastic houses along the riverbank. Battambang may not be the largest in size but is arguably first in serenity. Almost verging on soporific at times. Nevertheless the city does serve as an important hub and has been for centuries
Battambang, a mere dot on an atlas, however this provincial capital has seen a fair share of international attention. The province itself has been handed between France, Siam and Cambodia in only the last 150 years.
Battambang literally means "lost staff": referring to an episode in Khmer history when the King Kron Nhong threw his wooden staff from Angkor and it landed in present day Battambang. A fact commemorated by the huge golden statue in honour of the staff-throwing king, erected in the town. Believed to be the kingdom’s second largest city, Battambang is set in fertile alluvial soil that provides the country's highest quality rice crops. In fact, as a province, Battambang produces enough rice for the entire country. With such agricultural wealth and the existence of both rubies and emeralds within the provincial border, Battambang has grown through trade; a fact that has undoubtedly been abetted by the city's relative proximity to Bangkok. To a lesser extent, trade was also plied to the East even as far as Saigon, through the network of rivers. A strong influence in this growth of trade was immigrants; Chinese traders for centuries have played a notable role in the city's history.
Even with these economic advantages Battambang still retains its colonial charm. This is one of the prime reasons to visit the city. It exemplifies Cambodian provincial life, as if mirroring the seemingly tranquil Sang Ke River, which bisects the town. In true Cambodian tradition the river has shared importance with the market, which also dominates the centre of the town. Equally the commercial centre as it is the social. Surrounding the market are the faded yellows and peeling blues of the colonial houses that give Battambang so much of its character.
Getting there is half the fun! The road has improved drastically over the last year; however, parts of it still leave a good deal to be desired. The trip is often long and arduous. The boat from Siem Reap provides an alternative and a chance to see the synergy between the Cambodian people and their rivers, which play such a crucial role in their existence. It provides an attractive way to enter the city along the arterial waterway which has been the city's link for longer than any wheels have plied the road. Slowly Battambang accumulates along the banks of the river with increasing symptoms of urbanization. The journey is only about three hours and offers endless visual distractions.
Battambang's relevance within a Cambodian context was something that did not escape the Khmer Rouge, who found the area around the town to be of increased strategic importance: bearing witness to both the richness of the region and the geographical position of power.
Phnom Sampeou - The Ship Mountain of 700 steps. The hill is full of caves and grottos and even some cave dwelling monks and nuns. A Wat, which perches atop the hill, was used as a prison and torture facility. Beneath the pagoda is a cave system, which is where so many of the victims of the regime lay as they fell. They were simply pushed from a hole, high in the ceiling of the cave.
A brightly painted, six metre long, reclining Buddha, at the bottom of one of the caves, brings a semblance of calm. The caves are wide open and nestled within the depths of the hill. They serve as a sad testament to those who lost their lives here. A collection of skulls and bones drives the point home and instils in the place a sense morbid terror.
Phnom Krapeu - Crocodile Mountain. From Phnom Sampeou you can get the clearest view of this hill, which does, abstractly, look like the outline of a slumbering crocodile. Also visible is
Phnom Banan.
Phnom Banan: The Banan temple is a beautiful 10th century Angkorian style structure. Within the building there are five prangs, or towers, in varying states of disrepair. The entrance has 150 stairs with the archetypal naga balustrade and the occasional fallen Angkorian lion statue. Inside the central prang there is a collection of modern statues and several older lingas.
The prangs sport some ornately detailed lintels and a high level of workmanship. A slightly less aesthetic addition is the large artillery gun which looks out over the plains below, the site had both spiritual and military prowess. Not surprisingly the views from here are breathtaking with the fertile rice lands stretching out to the horizon dotted with the Technicolor of pagodas and temples. When set in contrast with the emerald green of the young paddies below it proves to be a soul-quenching vista.
Ek Phnom - This 10th century temple looks as if it is likely to collapse with hardly a right angle left in the structure - an imposing g edifice that looms overhead and seems to bulge out at the sides. With the archetypal proportions and presence, the temple stands a mute testament in the ever-changing world around it. Although in disrepair the charm and serenity of the building are still evident centuries after its construction. Ek Phnom, whilst maybe not in the same league as the Angkor Wat, still holds it own in the pantheon of temples that are found within the kingdom. In essence: a quirky little tumbledown temple, with a few examples of fine carving.
Battambang has seen a relative boom in bars and restaurants recently and now can offer a few choices with regards going out. Alternatively, do as the locals do and simply stroll along the river and enjoy the views of some fantastic houses along the riverbank. Battambang may not be the largest in size but is arguably first in serenity. Almost verging on soporific at times. Nevertheless the city does serve as an important hub and has been for centuries
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